It's too late to stop now,
and far too early to start over.

Life's not laundry.
Don't separate
The colours
From the whites.

we're all pretending to smell candles
loving people who don't love us
and wondering when it will end

Is there a way to get the touch of a hand out of your head?
There is no one who has truly been touched and forgets the feeling.
What do I say of your touch
except that I crave it?
I'm clutching at air here.
I'd like a hand to hold instead.

I miss loving you-
because I know you did not love me
and my love was all that kept us alive.
I'm going to pretend we are dead and gone,
so that this new me can learn to thrive.
I'll mourn at our gravestone, until I can't anymore.
Take all the stops and write you **** poetry.
Find the dead flowers you've left in your trash.
I won't take our last name off of your door.
I still sleep on the right side of the bed,
and search for your toes.
I search for your snores.
How do you block someone from your head?
You were good at it.
Or at least it looked like it.
Your fingers moved quickly,
deleted and removed,
deceived and disproved.
Rubbed ******* over your heart.
You never looked at me when I cried.
You just asked me why.
Called me pathetic.
Told me to die.
You knew I'd never know.
That you just cheated on me...
You just cheated on me.
You knew I'd never know,
you forgot about me.
Forgot about us.
I can't forget.
But I know I am so much bigger than what we were.

I've had enough chasing you,
What else should I do?
Are we really into this?
The old you, that I missed.

I'm begging you to stay,
Even if it's just for a day.
I just want to spend more time,
Because, this will be the last time that you're mine.

Some things have changed,
Was it me or was it you?
Was it all about the things I can't undo?
Or was it me who stopped chasing you?


-12072k15

When I needed a google search to tell me if I was still a ******.

It took a game of dare or double dare to teach me I don’t know repeated sounds an awful lot like yes
and ******* can drop mountains on boundaries not yet built –
serrated edges on once innocent skin

I let you carve me.

Nine years later and I’m still trying to find air in the ocean where it all happened.
I took lessons, but I never learned how to swim.

I remember thinking you must’ve liked me, that was the reason
and returning the favor would’ve made it okay. I found you in my freshmen year yearbook.

But I was wearing a bikini shaped like ignorance and a smile lined with naïve

you weren’t reaching for my heart when you went to hold my hand,
forcibly lacing my fingers like ribs around your ****.

I still wonder if dropping the I don’t before the know would’ve made any difference.