The house, when empty,
feels like a moseleum.
Everything is dark.
It is strange, how literally I can feel the heart tear.
Pericardium and myocardium,
ripping with the slow, tough **** of time and waiting,
atrium and ventricle split.
Far away my brain turns in on itself
as I stare at the candy on the road,
left from a Christmas parade,
Defined by the things its left behind,
though they lie unwanted.

My soul has fled to the wilderness
birth pangs of grief beginning,
prepared to deliver a stillborn heart,
As another star falls out of my sky.

It will go dark, I know.
One by one fall, without wishes to bring them back.
I stare at my sister's golden hair
and dread the day when she will be the one lying white,
bloodless
in a hospital bed.
Oh my mother, Oh my father,
are you to fall away, too?

Light. I scream, I need light.
But I will not throw bits of glass at the sky
to pretend I have re-lit the stars.

You forgot
You've forgotten
You forget.

You've forgotten how this felt.
How it felt to have a person you love so dearly
Ignore you
Hurt you
Betray you

Walk away when all you needed was someone to talk to
Walk away when all you needed was someone to love.
And you were loving them.

You've forgotten the pain
to be traumatized
to be numb
to be hopeless.

And nothing but pure rage can get you up in the morning,
To stop you from crying in order to go to class.

You forgot that you've been through something like this.
That once, a long time ago, you went through the same manipulation,
The same heartbreak.

You nearly ended your life then, and now all you can do is try to not go down the path.
No one can save you except yourself,
But you've forgotten.

Strip enough lights from our lives
and you'll find that we're all blind.

Feeling along walls,
and stubbing our toes
in the long darkness.

Be my light, my Polaris,
be my full moon in the night,
and save me from myself.

Save me from this begotten hell
that we've so carefully crafted
within our own hearts and minds.

I become afraid
of the sun -- I just wanted
love -- she burned me twice.