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You can trust me
You can believe me
When i say
I've been there and back
I've experienced it all
Not in this life
Some other time
That's how i know
When you ask that question
And i don't have an answer
That's how i know
And i could take it
Or leave it, but
The reality is,
It won't happen
Not the way you think it will
You're predictions
I'm sorry, honey
They're false
Now you can stay here
With me
Or you can go back home
Where no one cares
Like i do
Where they aren't gentle
Like i am
Because i know you
You're fragile
A butterfly
Or a fragment
Of a soiled puzzle
On the surface of a pond
But i would rather, i would
If you stayed
Right here with me
Forever, with me
In the midst of the stars
Dying to be me
Within this society of conformity

Just want to be free from the shackles
Freed from the cage
Aching for freedom is what I express on this page

Blood drips from my lips
My psyche has suffered a massive tear
Reality is seeping in like unnatural poison
It's keeping me from sleep
because I toss and turn in despair

Trying to make sense of this material world
But it's so unstable
I think I see it with my eyes
But a force like wind
Blows it all away
Like particles losing their tenacity and evaporating
Into space
Maybe that's all we can get out of this life--
An endless, unfulfilling chase

I try to convince myself to stay sane
To be happy and march along with the masses
To be the same
But what is in a name
When the world is in mayhem
And you're expected to just pretend

In empty space
You can erase
Limits are unknown
It's like being in a fish bowl of snow
You become numb because it's cold
And eventually you can't tell the difference between
your body and your soul.

I'm just dying to be me
I'm just dying for humanity's integrity .
What if the feeling of satisfaction
Is merely an ignorant distraction
From the harsh realities of our planet
Where chaos draws humans like a magnet?
Just a couple lines I thought up on the spot
Surrounded by liars, we conspire to exhale,
Suspended from heaven by wires so frail,
I was as you knew me; half there, half alive,
Too old to know better, too young still to drive,
An hourglass bandage, alone in my room,
A bruise to explain, an excuse to consume,
Burned down to silence, ethanol in my nose,
Confidence hibernation, voice never unfroze,
Turned to paper and pen, writing unhappy ends,
Tuned out all the fighting, lost faith in my friends,
A funerary maze, and I stayed there for days,
Kept safe from the addicts, degenerate haze,
Until finally I slept, free from sirens and screams,
It felt so good to see you, if only in dreams,
And I stared as you sat, delicate as a ghost,
I know I wasn’t there when you needed me most,
Always so far from home, and still so far from free,
Maybe I became less than you meant me to be,
With fire in my shoes and a map in my head,
Spent 3 years on the run, 4 wheels and no bed,
No food in my stomach, hollow cheeks caving in,
I came too far to fail, but was too lost to win,
Still the city lights held me with frenzied embrace,
Childhood imperfections forever etched on my face,
But head down I’ll hold on, however hopeless it seems,
And someday we’ll meet again, if only in dreams.
I am breathing leaves.
Autumn travels through my lungs,
Swirling, storming around my rib cage.
Everything is dying around me,
Within me and I can't make it

**Stop.
his laugh is my favorite movie. I play the scenes over and over again in my head the way he smiles the way he looks at me  the way my hand fit into his. The million words that were said and his laugh that I lost. I lost the original so now I'm left with the movie playing in my head and knowing I will never have the feeling that I did when I got to watch it first hand. when I got to love him for the first time.
softly humming and deftly proceeding
unobtrusive like a shy one at a gathering
i make myself obscure and inconsequential
though my heart tells me it's only a matter of time
before i make my mark and cause a stir among my peers
and before we hear the distinct sound of the bell's chime
as it calls upon all and sundry, far and wide across the land
to declare their love in soft tones and hearts serene and sincere
to look upon love with wondering eyes that burn with longing
and drink to the love of a lifetime in a sunset glass blown by a master
thereafter to sing a song that is a tale of love unlimited and hope eternal
the thing to remember is the image of a backpacker at some lodge
sinking with the yellow sun in an obscure room where he lays his head
though he knows it not, his ritual daily enacts our final days
In the darkness I live in,
There's a man so tall and thin,
And in the morning he goes hiding,
Though at night he screams I'm lying,
And in the night,
My thoughts break into silence,
A life remains,
Within the mist of phobias.

When the sun is up I find escape
From the demons in my head,
But as the sun sets here he's creeping
Through my mind as I am sleeping,
And in the night,
My thoughts break into silence,
A cry through rain,
I lost my mind in phobias.

If paranoia is my only friend,
Well I must fall with him again,
As he reminds me of my sorrow,
While I cry for a tomorrow,
I lost myself
In silence.

-Kathia Mariana Landeros
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