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I think this is destined for forever, but
I'll always hate and love her till my very last breath.
Always been a thin line between the two.
 Oct 2015 Edgar E Tobias
Steele
Armchairs and whiskey.
Bottle on the side table.
Eyes open wide, unable
to sleep. Thoughts creep
into his shaking skull.
Hands shake and grip the bow.
He pulls his scream across a string,
because his throat won't voice his wearied woe.

The sound's more than just pain,
and it tells more of his aching bones
than it should.
He plays the tears he can't show,
and it's understood
as the instrument moans.
That's all he needs to show a world
that doesn't know what his pain sounds like.
He'd talk about it if he could. Rachmaninov understood.
Stoicism is an awful habit of mine. I don't cry; I play.
I know it's cliche and corny and troped to death, but I do. It's how I cope, and sometimes it's good to just tell someone that. So I'm telling the internet, because if we're making confessions go hard or go home, right? Goodnight, HP.
 Oct 2015 Edgar E Tobias
Steele
Times are tough. Just a puff. One moment of despair.
Just a hair on a razor's edge. Just one step off heaven's ledge;
I'll dangle, before my wings
smoke
and fall from my back.
Just a puff.
Wings are for saps.

("And it's done," he whispers. "Too late to turn back.")
One failure is unconscionable to the voice in my ear.
There's time yet for that.
There's time yet for that.
My mantra reminds me of that will that I lack.
Tomorrow is a new day. Try, try again.
 Oct 2015 Edgar E Tobias
Steele
I'm better now.
Beat. Shake. Hands shake.
You okay? Blink. "I'm fine."
(Don't think. It's not a crime
to feel like your skin doesn't fit.)
To not really want to quit
any more. Hands shake. Beat. Blink.
Break. Boots quake.
Blisters pop inside your brain.
You okay? Blink. What?
"Sorry. Just not sleeping well."
(Going through Hell. Can't tell you that.)

I'm fine. Thanks for the sympathy.
(Throw me a line.)
To the guy who commented on PT 2: Thanks. You're the reason PT 3 is being posted tonight. I'm still going.
“Session two;
Subject has become dependant; requires three capsules a day.
Subject has also requested for detainment.”


What is gold?
“What do you mean?”
Why can’t it stay?
Why couldn’t he stay?

“I don’t understand.”
Neither did Eden.

Patience
The window broke again.
“There are no windows.”
Debateable
“What?”
How could you lie to yourself like that?
“I’m not lying.”
I laid the centuries upon my hands.
“Time cannot be held.”
It can be lifted.

Dawning
“How are you?”
I’m very tired.
“Why?”
The voices kept me up again.
“The voices?”
They told me it was my fault.
“Is it your fault?”
If it is, then why am I so proud?

“Are you feeling any better?”
Has death said his due?
“Death?”
Hunger
“Would you like something to eat?”
I’ve already eaten.
“What?”
It came like rain.
“What did?”
Their sins.

Shunned
“Do you recall?”
His voice?
“Do you recall anything?”
It shifted like rubies-
-and lowered the moon.

“The moon?”
She sang a song for him.
“A song?”
It’s always darkest before the dawn, right?
“Some would say.”
I’ll follow the dawn.
“Why?”
Until I see the first light.

Grasping
“Do you remember her?”
I am still in love with that place.
“What place?”
The stars in my skin
“Stars?”
They danced and spiraled into amber trees
“What trees?”
Amber.
Just like her heart.

“Her heart?”

Who could compare?
“Compare what?”
Love to a tragedy.
“What?”
Why would they do that?
Aren’t they the same?



“End of trial.
Subject denied.”
re·lapse
/rəˈlaps/
verb
verb: relapse; past tense: relapsed

to become ill again after a period of improvement in health
of an illness;  to return to a bad condition, form of behavior, or disease.
 Oct 2015 Edgar E Tobias
Batool
Pssstt...
Hey you ...
Yes you,
With the hazel eyes
what if i tell you
i'm planning to
capture the moon
in my glass container
and a little bit of night
and a few stars
a trickle of mid night breeze
will you sneak out with me
will you ??
 Oct 2015 Edgar E Tobias
Anna B
A lonesome quiet autumn night
With my twitching, pouring sight

Some just might, hold one tight
As lonesome as this quiet autumn night

With self-devouring, melancholy
I as many, you as few
We'll be alright in this chilly, jolly
quiet, moony midnight dew
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