Guilt held me by the throat,
narrowed eyes filled with unshed tears,
as i clawed at the fingers blocking my airway.
Spectators say i should turn to faith,
for how could i not believe in the graceful intervention of a higher power,
in a crime that claimed the lives of so many,
in a crime that left just one.
I do not wish to be involved in His plan,
this miracle they speak of is far too unforgiving.
The fingers around my neck unclenched,
and my arms fall to my sides in resignation.
"You will live with me forever,"
Guilt whispers into my ear.
I shook my head and opened my mouth,
begging for forgiveness, for justice,
but no words escaped my throat.
Grief gives me a long stare,
unsure about approaching me.
“How can i apologize for the crime that claimed the lives of so many?”
I asked in desperation.
“How can i apologize for being the only one?”