I'm doing alright,* I tell myself
It was a lie, now it's true
Yet I can still fall deep down
I can still feel this blue

It really does get better
How time has flown
Yet this inexplicable sadness
I have not outgrown

I am happy when I laugh
I am relieved when I cry
Yet these years have not depleted
This blue river behind my eyes

Tragedy seems unreal,
Like a foreign movie.
I'm only a spectator
Front row for reality.
I see the shooter, the victims.
A hundred hired to act.
Fake blood paints pavements.
The bullets are blanks.
…
*But the bullets pierce
And the blood is warm.
A hundred targets are found.
Few to recover from harm.
There won't be a 'cut!'
No take four or take five.
This is no movie.
A shot takes a life.