when did your eyes turn from blue to grey?
what a beautiful grey
a cold grey
a wet October grey
an "I forgot my umbrella" grey
a "Should we stay home?" grey
a day consumed with nostalgic sadness grey
a familiar reminder of rejection grey
a hopeless new romance grey

as grey as the ash from your cigarettes
as grey as that woolen hat that I'd wear while I waited wondering when you'd wander home
as grey as my best shirt you stripped off of me on a grey night

i fell in love with a mixture of black, blue, and muddy pearl
it sparkled against me when the sky clouded up
and we kissed until our vision blurred

I don't remember how vivid colors were before you.

I am starting to believe that I have lost the ability to love.
I have started to kiss people with no spark, I’ve held empty hands, and slept in the arms of people I do not fully know.
It all started with a boy, of course.
A boy who wasn’t a spark, but was a firework
He was the sun, the moon, the sky, the flowers, etc
He took up so much room in my mind that he practically became my world.

I spent my nights writing poetry about him in the shadows of my room,
Because if I did it with the lights on, I wasn’t able to immerse myself in the memories we created in the dark.
Under blankets and under the stars,
We made promises that would soon prove to be empty,
And we kissed each other so passionately that the feeling of his lips would be stained on mine.

The boy taught me that I could have everything I have ever wanted,
And there could still be a “but”
We were happy together… but hardly in each other’s presence
We were in love… but he didn’t feel the same kind of love
He gave me everything he had… but he didn’t think it was enough.
See, right there was the problem.
He never thought he was enough for me,
But little did he know that he wasn’t just “enough”.
He was everything.

Every time I close my eyes
I see a face,
clear and perfect. Yet

ever changing
like a memory
fading and morphing.

I don't know this face,
who they are or
where they're from.

Why they're in my head.

And at night, those
images morph themselves into dreams,
and I see her again;

her lost blurry eyes
in search of something
they can't find.

And then,
in a brief moment of clarity
they meet mine

and I somehow feel
found again, like a piece
of my soul has been given back.

Every time I try my hardest to hold on,
desperate to stay there with her,
scared of waking up lost.

Sometimes I think
she's just another lost
lonely soul

in search of
an old friend
who she's known forever.

Sometimes I think
she's out there
wandering the world

and that maybe
with some patience and luck
I'll meet her one day.

Has it been that long?
Since your gray eyes first met mine?
Since I first saw your smile?
Since I first heard your laugh?
Since I felt your hair brush against my face?
Since I heard beautiful words come out of your mouth?
Since I watched them fall onto paper?
Since I last looked into your eyes?
Since I last touched your hand?
Since I last heard your voice?
Since I last saw your face?
Has it really been that long?

How hungry you were
Sinking your hooks in deep,
cracking open my chest,
looking for more. But
I've felt this before.

How hungry you were, those
sharp fingers tearing at my skin
and leaving me sore,
Cracking ribs open like toothpicks
after a meal.

How hungry you were.
Craving my healthy heart and
blood. Lapping it all up
like some depraved thirsty dog.

How hungry you were
to satiate your pain,
to toss yours away
and replace it with mine.

Oh how hungry you were,
when you found me empty.

i have never loved someone so real and sincere as much as this heart of mine beats for you with no fear, a knight ready to cross our frontier
brick by brick, i break
step by step, i fall
but my knees refuse to wobble
for my love's sake
i have never loved someone so hard and foolish as much as i love you that i could pick up your shards. i am scarred, but my wounds will vanish, for sure
body covered with steel, love is the only sword to wield
a battle where i can't just standstill, although your ice got my knees congealed
soaked with scarlet hues, hot tears have watered the dry battlefield
my pale lips are bruised, evidence i can never conceal
but i smile.
i'm happy you're whole, even if i'm all over the floor.
i'm happy you're with someone better instead of a broken soul.
i have never loved someone so much that i could bleed all my blood, burn all my flesh and tear my heart into two, just so i could give you the constellatons you deserve, and not a dead star who gave all her shine for you.

My blood runs red in my blue veins
I feel just as you do, exactly the same
Cut me open and see inside
That which is in me is beautified
So as with you, our hearts are all true
Irrespective of the color that our skin exudes

If you were to hurt me would I not cry ?
Asking you forgiveness, the reason why
Just as you would if you were to die
Be judged by the same man in the sky

Do we not love and fear?
Hope and dream for all things?
That this life would be gentle and kind
That we might live and learn unconfined

We are born and we die in the exact same way
Are similarities not enough to keep a color war at bay?
Skin, hair, money, status and power
Are these the things we fight for that will slowly devour us?

I search for a world where this will no longer matter
That for this reason no more blood shall splatter
When the color of my skin will not make me less of a person  
But rather a sister to love and trust in

I want this world to see through the my eyes
See what it means to truly accept and thrive
What we could be if only we stopped fighting
It would be love and life uniting.

Ah, could I lay me down in this long grass
And close my eyes, and let the quiet wind
Blow over me—I am so tired, so tired
Of passing pleasant places!  All my life,
Following Care along the dusty road,
Have I looked back at loveliness and sighed;
Yet at my hand an unrelenting hand
Tugged ever, and I passed.  All my life long
Over my shoulder have I looked at peace;
And now I fain would lie in this long grass
And close my eyes.
                   Yet onward!
                               Cat birds call
Through the long afternoon, and creeks at dusk
Are guttural.  Whip-poor-wills wake and cry,
Drawing the twilight close about their throats.
Only my heart makes answer.  Eager vines
Go up the rocks and wait; flushed apple-trees
Pause in their dance and break the ring for me;
Dim, shady wood-roads, redolent of fern
And bayberry, that through sweet bevies thread
Of round-faced roses, pink and petulant,
Look back and beckon ere they disappear.
Only my heart, only my heart responds.
Yet, ah, my path is sweet on either side
All through the dragging day,—sharp underfoot
And hot, and like dead mist the dry dust hangs—
But far, oh, far as passionate eye can reach,
And long, ah, long as rapturous eye can cling,
The world is mine: blue hill, still silver lake,
Broad field, bright flower, and the long white road
A gateless garden, and an open path:
My feet to follow, and my heart to hold.

roses are red but
romance is dead, so what use
is counting petals?