There is a certain beauty
found in silence, terror too.

I wish to go back to the day-
When we first met.
It was the day I let my guard down,
And I let you into my mind.
That was my first mistake.
One I will never make again.
Trust nobody,
I should've thought
To let me know to turn around.

Because maybe then,
I thought you were a friend.
But you were just the beginning to an end.

I like being alone
I hate being lonely

I like being quiet
I hate to not be heard

I like being a wallflower
I hate not being seen

I like being alive
But god, oh god
I hate this life

Is this all you can describe us as?
Is that all we were to you?
I thought, perhaps,
I had stayed up until four in the morning
on school nights and on breaks
talking to you as though,
Mutually,
nothing else mattered.

I thought, perhaps,
when you told me to wait,
that you didn't have the time,
that it would be worth my patience
(Or perhaps my lack thereof).

I thought, perhaps,
that when I saw your face,
heard your voice,
listened to you chuckle,
woke up from a half slumber and saw you watching me,
some weird mix of admiration and love and lust and passion in your quirky gaze,
we meant something to one another.

But you've revealed the truth, and that's alright.
I can find another Lily in my pond.