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  May 2017 natalie
blue mercury
one side of me,
it still loves you.
my baby blue ford-
my ride or die,
i'd live for you,
if only for you.


but he
he lights up my world
where you only have made it dark
but god i'd take the darkness any day.

but his light,
makes me feel like i have
the ability
to do
absolutely anything.
'tis a wonderful thing
or at least it almost is.


and the dark you give
only makes me feel
like i've failed.
the choice should be easy.

but my heart
is hurting,
unsure of the choice.

although either of you could
be completely out of reach


i don't know.
not my best, i'll post better stuff soon- or at least i'll try to.
i love you all.
x
  May 2017 natalie
blue mercury
shriveled cells.
(if you need peace of mind,
i can give you a piece of mine)

oh wonder.
(hold still. i'll kiss you in
the rain and you'll be beautiful)

nightmare before christmas.
(you are a lot like someone
i left behind- who are you?)

jelly beans.
(sweet, sour, and lifeless.
don't you ever...)

daisy chains.
(you're going to be something new
i just don't know what else to say to you.)
  May 2017 natalie
blue mercury
i hide the ghost of who we used to be
underneath my covers. i sleep, my legs
intertwined with its legs, my fingers on its cheek.

it looks like our child would have looked, but
it has no gender, no identity other than the two of us.

innocence and frivolity coat its tongue
and unsaid i love yous are cotton ***** caught in
its throat, not set free, the people we used to be
could never set those three words free
into the air. into each other’s mouths. into the sky.

and as the cold body lies next to mine, i wish
i had a bigger bed and didn’t have to be tangled
with the ghost of who we used to be.
  May 2017 natalie
chris
˜
you’re not too sensitive.
you’re not overreacting.

if it hurts you,

it hurts you
natalie May 2017
you smell of spice and rosemary,
a smell i can't shake off.
it fills my lungs with exposure of you,
and releases words i can't get out.

what a culprit you are,
coming and stealing my heart,
i needed that you fool,
i was going to give it to you.
natalie May 2017
another drag through jagged teeth,
manhandling my body with precision.
lips glittering with the wet from your tongue,
piercings blundering my soul.
continue to make your move against me,
i am numb to all feelings you may hold.
wrap me up and throw me to the dogs,
before you take all humanity.
my grammar is bad but my feelings are not.
  May 2017 natalie
Anastasia
It's been a year
Since you broke me
The first time.
Yet, your expresso eyes
Are still the only ones I
Want
To see past the fog of
mine.

I wish I could hate you
Oh how simple that would be
But I can't
When the only thing you didn't do
Right
Was love me the way
I love you.
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