safety, a word i never quite grasped
but your arms pound the definition
into my head like a gunshot
impossible to ignore and somehow
a little bit frightening

nothing is permanent
whispers through my ears
whistling insecurities that you
can't quite catch can't quite drown
out of this whirlpool of a mind
you've entangled yourself in

you are laughter and light
and a steady beam of sunshine
that dances around the musty
abandoned museum of my heart
but, darling, light fades

these shadowy thoughts slip from my mouth
clumsily, gurgling fountains of messy words and
you kiss my lips quiet, murmuring softly
not today, not today, not yet

and so the whispers fade to just
a rustling background noise
just a nonsense worry for another day

i am so afraid of losing you
that i have not quite let myself
have you just yet

Like the changing seasons
    when you leave I fall
into the beautiful
Melancholy
of yesterday's rain
  as Red Cap
   by Louie Armstrong plays
in a dark mellow, yellow
smooth...or
rough sounding,
  yet lovely fanfareish finish
  sounds of a Witchita
lineman still
on the line
hanging on
lingering
 heavy on my mind
  reminded of
    smells down sweetened
         cigar smelling tracks
          tastes of honey & Whiskey
           forget a word said wrong
            a note not hit or played
             disregard word unsaid
            forgive a thoughtless word
            my imperfect mind
          I overheard myself
         or you saying
        as we're laying,
       playing
        in the sun
       Jazz....pizzazz
       Oh, ah...yeah,
        working
         on the chain...
          ohhh ahhhh....
         ewwwww ...waaaa...
      help me sing it
   bring it
   waaa..oooOo
  Oh yeah,
   one more time
  everybody
let me here you
better go now
you can
show me
how
  hey
    Yeah....
    Sam Cooke
      singing
        Gospel
        sayin'
       thank you
        for
          the
         beautiful
           and the
              bitter
                sweetness
                 of the
                 time we
                  shared
                  is leaving.
                




      Cherie Nolan © 2016

Like the changing seasons
    when you leave I fall
into the beautiful
Melancholy
of yesterday's rain
  as Red Cap
   by Louie Armstrong plays
in a dark mellow, yellow
smooth...or
rough sounding,
  yet lovely fanfareish finish
  sounds of a Witchita
lineman still
on the line
hanging on
lingering
 heavy on my mind
  reminded of
    smells down sweetened
         cigar smelling tracks
          tastes of honey & Whiskey
           forget a word said wrong
            a note not hit or played
             disregard word unsaid
            forgive a thoughtless word
            my imperfect mind
          I overheard myself
         or you saying
        as we're laying,
       playing
        in the sun
       Jazz....pizzazz
       Oh, ah...yeah,
        working
         on the chain...
          ohhh ahhhh....
         ewwwww ...waaaa...
      help me sing it
   bring it
   waaa..oooOo
  Oh yeah,
   one more time
  everybody
let me here you
better go now
you can
show me
how
  hey
    Yeah....
    Sam Cooke
      singing
        Gospel
        sayin'
       thank you
        for
          the
         beautiful
           and the
              bitter
                sweetness
                 of the
                 time we
                  shared
                  is leaving.
                




      Cherie Nolan © 2016

My best friend
My shoulder to cry on
We were so close
But now
Now I see
You just needed me
So you could feel better about yourself
Because I was too messed up
I was beyond repair
But you
You just needed some of my essence
My "best friend"  
May I ask you this
Where did you go