We used to make paper planes
as flimsy as our confidence.
Nothing ever flew the same,
smothered by the thawing sky.
We counted the seconds
until rain ate their bodies,
"5,6,7,8".

Too afraid to go outside,
mom and dad are gone.
Hovering hips beside
the holes in our walls.
Staring out the window
as foggy breath falls.

Seaweed salad and water
before we sleep.
Thinking about
if the paper graves
are as deep  
as the cheap cliches
in our head.

"We accept the love we think we deserve"
you deserve better than I can give you
I deserved better then what he could give me
we accept anyway

I loved him
but he crushed me
he crushed my weak heart
the heart which I had spent so long
tying and chaining to my own chest
which i ripped away
and cried in pain as i shyly looked away
and handed it to him
He took it.
he never understood how hard it was
for me to give it to him
He took it.
He crushed it anyway
and bruised it
and mangled it
so it hurt
even when it didn't.
it hurt
to be alive
but i deserved it right?
i deserved him right?

you love me
but why I don't know
you dont see my scars
I cannot make myself show them to you
I  know you would understand
I know you would hold me when I cried
as I told you
and that's what I'm afraid of
I cant give you what you deserve
and i know it crushes you
but you never say
you hold my hand
through the torture
as I crush you
because my scars are too deep to show
you deserve to know
Why Can't I let you in?
I am afraid that I dont deserve what you're giving me
because I dont
because im crushing you

Im so sorry
Im sorry I thought I deserved him
And he broke me
I now I dont deserve you
because I'm broken

nobody want the broken toy

If you died tomorrow
What would you want them all to know?

That you loved having to conform?
That you appreciated the need to be the same?
That you were grateful for the chance to feel self conscious about your body?

No

You would tell them that you hated them
Their words
Both said
And unsaid
You hated their eyes
Looking
Judging
Never understanding

You would tell them that you found your place on earth
That you found your heaven
A place where love was real
Where friends laughed
Where people mattered
Not for clothes, hair, status, or money
But for the sole sake of being people

You would tell them that you were happy
And they still found a way to ruin it
And you hate them for it

If he did not matter
And I did not care
Why does his voice echo in my head
On sleepless nights

Mornings cold, sheets unmade

If he loved me so
And I did not want him at all
Why can I still see his smile
Every time I look up at the clouds

Sun blinding, skin pale

If it was my choice
And his heartbreak, his loss
Why do I find myself
Writing these lines today

Clock ticking, time slowing

If I am unhappy
And he is long gone
I know for sure I'm stuck here
Regretting, longing

I thought I was the one
Who got away
But clearly,
He's the one who got away
With my heart.

Time heals all wounds, they say,-- but -- heartbreak --I--s a wound deeper than most. What if that was the first thing she has ever --lo--st? They said she was too nai--ve,-- too young.  And it hurts knowing they were --d--ead wrong. It hurts her knowing it ended real bad. It hurts trying to understand. She remembers the lips she once had tasted, and she remembers t --h--e     t--im--e... all of it wasted. She remembers the passion, the love, the way time would fly. And now all that's left is hatred, the blood, a final good-bye

He'll love you more than he loved me because with you, you're perfect. Being your everything it's the greatest thing he can give to you.
                                    
I just want to say a few things, I want to tell you how lucky you are because you and him? You may as well be a perfect match and with that I want you to appreciate him. Appreciate his presence because girl, that's what I'm longing for. Show him how much you care and how much you admire him despite his imperfections (I tell you though you'll find beauty in them too)

I could never compare to you. The way he looks at you, it's much more meaningful. You are the sun, moon, stars that give him warmth when it's cold. When he thinks of you he just can't help but smile because you are his sunshine, something to look forward to everyday. You will be gravity that holds things perfectly in place, you will be his queen. All the things I never was and never could be will be you.
You will be his Juliet,
his Cossette,
his Elizabeth Bennett.        
And I
Will be no one.

Take care of him, love him with a love greater than mine. If you can.

Sincerely,
The girl he loved before

i have  become a collection
of  ripped pieces of sketch paper
and ink and paint and blood.
my head is a wasteland
filled with hazy drugs
that let me sleep.
i want to let gravity do it's work
and pull my fingertips to earths core
mix dirt into my veins
and take shots out of glasses
full of whiskey and ache.
i want to walk into the ocean
and fill my body with more water
than it was meant for.
i want to become the sand
so people will make castles out of me
and so i can laugh
when i burn their bare feet.

instead i am an incomplete drawing
and a poem that makes no sense.

*(a.m.c.)

I'm afraid to ask
for fear of disappointment
but do you remember
what you meant to me
you pervert
in the back of the room
all the ***** jokes
they changed
into prayers
not too sure which
I miss more
dancing in the bowling alley
your contacts traded for
glasses that are a turn on
the beach
with me wearing
your pants
on the subway home
no flashlights in the dark
tripping into each other
on through the orchard
my cheek brushing
your unshaven face
me clasped tight
not wanting to let go
do you remember
the conversations we had
how could you
just let go so easily
and start a new life
when you're the only one I ever had