At twenty one thirty ,
and far away,
she made up her mind
and couldn't stay.

Her pain was too much,
for her to bare
I tried to reach out,
but she didn't care.

At just seventeen,
she had been through hell,
Could not escape
her molested cell.

Nowhere to go,
seeing darkness around,
No escape for this girl,
only hell bound.

I begged her to stay,
she said go away,
Why do you care?
I bowed down to pray.

She grabbed the blade,
going deeper every time,
Slashed her wrist,
I cried and I cried.

A thousand miles away,
I am now in somber.
Why did you leave me?
I will always remember.

Locked away my heart
Threw away the key
no, not this time
No one can hurt me

I let it fall
I watched it sink
That girl you knew is gone
I am no longer me

I wander the world lost
Just follow what they say
Maybe they'll leave me alone
Maybe the voices will go away

I wonder if anyone
Will ever break into the safe
Where I keep my heart
Where I keep it caged

I've just been living blind
Keep my feet on the ground
Can't find the rainbow
Only hear the thunder sound

I've given up
Will anyone ever save me
Save me from myself
Will they help me see

I am scared and confused
Wish I knew who i could trust
I don't know what to do
I am forever lost

So I've blocked out the whole world
Wear a fake smile on my face
I stood there crying
It rained that day

It was an accident,
I didn't do it.
Authorities coming,
located in closet.

I don't remember,
What just happened?
Knife it my hand,
You must be mistaken.

Everything was fine,
I went insane.
Four victims in total,
put out of their pain.

Blood on the ceiling,
blood on the walls.
Twenty eight slashes,
banished their souls.

A father, a mother
and two other kin.
I took them away
and committed a sin.

I was found guilty,
sentenced to die.
Finding no reason,
I'm about to cry.

My kills were my high,
I felt no remorse.
Life is a mystery,
it's has taken its course.

The day has come,
I sit in the chair.
It is over for me,
I no longer care.

I paid my debt,
for my heinous crime.
Please flip the switch,
so I can fry.

look up to the night
the sky says it all
I've been
chipped
shattered
battered
to the core

please be gentle

I feel fragile and small

its only this moment
but this moment is real
just as the flip side
shall rise to the front

*please understand compassion is key
I have it for you, please have it for me

If I could find the Proverbs
arranging them accordingly
Inside these lucid creases
I would die happy, just to
concieve metrical composition

... for all time

I'd scribble heartbreaks and
rescue missions of my soul
to clarify empathy of baptism
that my love is more than love

If I had a key with a heart
bleeding at the crown
I would unlock the poison
So much I allowed myself
in suffering
I am languishing
rib cages, shutting in
all my reasoning to breathe...

where to be found another day

I'd scribe in scrolls
of my 15 yrs of sorrows
hoping your eyes can see
I am just as damaged as
a vehicle wreck
Yet a mother of 1
who was lost
on a sad occasion

3 yrs ago when I first
decided to bare my deepest
and thickest out pour
of my poetry,
I wrote about you

Mathias Ti'avasu'e

..I became the whipping
motherless girl beneath Zues..

Conveyed the impression
at first glance
Writing my storms delicately
as when mommy first held you
helped me describe my
inner workings
so that you might understand

… exactly the mother I
could have been

I love you in all of your grace, your
purity, and your precious life.
And when that time comes that
I may write of you
I could find the words I need
to create heavenly for you
and to conquer

... and if this makes perfect poetry,
then why does it still hurt so bad?

© S.T. Rebel of Eden

I have this fear ,
So I'm constantly crying.
When someone asks, I'm always lying.
There are some things that can't be understood, so I pretend that they're all good.
People know I'm lying but they keep on smiling.
They don't understand the things that I'm hiding.
But can no one see the problems I face?
When ever I ask them: they say that they will fix them whatever it takes.
I smile and look at them straight in the face
I say: "thank you" and walk back to my fears
Knowing these problem won't ever fade.
No matter what it takes.

And no matter what it breaks.

'Young lady, why is your poetry so dark?'
I don't know good sir, it's probably because I have my insides at war.

When death permeates our mind and soul, we die much before death actually occurs

I lie here in bed,
hit by a chill.
I know the one,
it brings me still.

Pitch black surrounds,
crowding me whole,
sweats on my brow,
feelings are cold.

My body is solid,
flat as a board,
goosebumps risen,
sounds are scored.

Don't want to move,
my eyes do the most,
What did I see?
Am I seeing ghosts?

Shadows cast images,
up on the wall,
Can't make it out,
starting to fall.

Under the covers,
heart starts to pound.
Senses are scared,
my beliefs are abound.

Scared as hell now,
don't want to believe.
What lurks in the dark?
Is waiting for me.

It's finally gone
and I am still here.
What was that feeling?
That strangled my fear.

How can you not hear my inner voices
and you're that clueless
that I'm already making a mess

Listen to the inaudible scream
look through the window
and find the glint

Lend me your ears,
hear my heart beat?
Hope this won't explode
as it goes to fast mode

My mouth is zipped
as I'm trying to keep
what is safely hidden inside
But the water's
overflowing in the glass
Here I am, trying to wait
for the next bus

But I need to grab the ink
and paste the unwanted feelings
For this is the only way
to grab a rope and not sink*

-A

10/4/14

I am creative, not coordinated.
I am complex, not simplicated.
I am dark, not illuminated.
I am here, not alienated.

I am a now,  a dark, a complex and a creative poet.

Beware if you are afraid of the dark and watch your step as you leave.

Lost my way in these salad days,
started to drown in your salad ways,
this distance keeps me from feeling whole,
causing disparity of the soul,

Cordially invited to share my fate,
you didn't show up,  you were fashionably late,
Id packed my burdens in a trunk of desire,
but you stamped on the embers, put out the fire.

And if credence could talk and was given a face,
it would be my companion in this fall from grace,
but for now I’ll just accept my plight,
take a walk in the shadows, avoiding the light.