open your eyes
to your own horrible nature

I saw the diamond birds
Flying in the midnight clouds
Before falling into crystal seas
Swallowed up by demon waters

But it's all just pretending
Of having to face reality
Standing alone with insecurity
Slapped in the face by indecision

I'm begging you, I'm on my knees
My lady, don't take your love away

Once again the dragons came
Breathing fire across distant lands
Looking for somewhere to belong
A creature that time long forgot

It's just another metaphor of me
Once again I'm lost in myself
A broken mirror image, cracked
I'm nothing if I'm without you

I'm begging you, I'm on my knees
My lady, don't take your love away

When you look at me
you don't see me
you never have.
You have always used me
as a blank slate
on which to paint
whichever picture
makes you feel better.

I have been
a friend
a love
a source of unconditional support
a fool who couldn't stop thinking about you
a jealous girl
a person uglier than you
someone who will always be there to smile
someone to deny
someone to better
someone to trivialize when you feel trivial.

But never
have I ever been
just me.

And now it's too late
for you to see the real me,
for I am now covered in your paint.

When this heart begins to break

And there is nothing at stake

All the tears have been cried

Just emptiness left inside



Let It Be



All our emotions are long gone

We keep playing the same old song

Trying to remember our good times past

But these feelings keep on fading fast



Let It Be



For you no longer come to desire me

We only keep giving each other misery

We seem to be always on the attack

Now there can be no turning back



Let It Be

Once upon a time
There was a princess
Who lived all alone
Lost inside her heart

The years went past
She never grew old
Always looking for love
But it never came

Looking for a prince
To take her away
But she keep waiting
Waiting and waiting forever

She never saw him
The poor farmers son
Her watched her window
He worshipped her beauty

Everyday soldiers beat him
But still he'd come
Just to watch her
Until he grew old

She never saw him
Even when he died
Head in the clouds
She never looked below

and you'll know what it is when you see it
and your throat begins to constrict
and your chest feels heavier
and it is just difficult to breathe
and you can feel emotions bubbling up from the pit of your stomach
and you know you are going to cry
and the memories come flooding back
and you know you just can't bear to feel again
and despite knowing this you don't look away
and you begin to wonder whether you actually like the pain
and it is getting more difficult to breathe
and you know that soon you are going to be overwhelmed
and you do nothing to stop it because it was a part of you for so long it demands to be felt and accepted wholly, completely it demands that you cling onto it and never let it go it wants your attention it need you attention it does not care about you it cares about your attention you fool stop living in the past the past is the past it is over get over it
but
you
never
will

I am having trouble writing.
It is as if there is a wall of bulletproof glass separating me from the words that are dying to escape the metal cage they are kept in. I am the only one with a key sitting comfortably in the pockets of my jeans, but no matter how hard I pound my fists against the wall, I do not get any closer to quieting the agonizing screams emerging from the trap. They get louder, aching for liberation, tethering their syllables around the bars as they sit, confined within a reality I am desperate to free them from.

They are starving to live. I can see the outlines of their bones through the transparent letters that blanket their elastic limbs, each day growing more tired, forgetting the taste of hope every minute that passes. I can feel them collecting dust, shrinking down to fragile skeletons that have begun to lose meaning. What if one day I will no longer be able to see them? What if one day I have nothing left to save?

I am starving to live. I cannot feel love without a knife stuck wedged in the back of my throat reminding me that I have nothing to describe it with. I can give all of myself to the one who thankfully accepts it but my teeth chatter at the thought of having to apologize for stealing joy from the cookie jar. I am sorry for having no words to say sorry. They told me to tell you that they are sorry for their absence, but I do not know how to say this without them.

For now, I am waiting. The same way I do for Fridays, for your call, for my heartbeat to obey the speed limit, for time to run dry.

I will continue to wait
patiently, tiredly, averting my eyes to the hopes that maybe tomorrow, they will be small enough to squeeze through the bars and set me free.

Mirror of my soul
Love, for whom the bells of my heart toll
How can I make you understand,
I'd swim the widest ocean, just to hold your hand
Though we were together for such a short while
My heart still shines remembering your smile
The sound of you saying my name so sweet
The way you touched me when we would meet
The feel of your body against mine
In great love we would intwine
But like a thief in the night you slipped away
Leaving only sweet memories to fill my days

Fractured Love

The calm nights of twinkling stars,
Brought us out to view their beauty.
We would sit watching in a warm embrace,
Professing our love for each other,
Good times together we did have my love.
Our dedication was to each other so strong.
The long walks together in spring,
Among the lovely blossoms of color.
Life was grand with our love intact,
Eyes glistened with love so sweetly passionate.

Then we drifted far apart, tied to separate lives,
We tried to keep the embers lit and burning.
But alas it was not to be as the flames died,
The stars seem so far away and dim now.
Our eyes now glistening from wet tears,
Our destiny together now fractured.
Two trains on separate tracks passing by,
Our journey now separate and isolated.
Could we have salvaged the feelings?
Can we still be friends as the love is in flight?
© Perveiz Ali

He laughs at the way
I make lucky paper stars
When I'm anxious
or scared
or sad
or lonely.
He thinks it's cute,
Or so he says.
But when he sees me making them
He comes to sit with me
And I've started to fill
jars of stars
A lot slower
Because I like his smile
when he sits with me.