High breed they've said
They just don't know how often we've prayed
Our knee was so severely wounded
Pleading Him to erase this delusions' that we've been bounded

Lunatic! They've always called us
Pushing ourselves to wished to be among with the  dust
The crazies' they've said making fun of us
Now we don't know whom do we trust

We tried to live in a masks
But to no avail still our head been crashed
Now' we live in a cage like an animal
Away from home' near to suicidal

High breed they've said again
Instead of helping they don't want us to  begin
We are like a child being bullied
Their thumping words trained us to be stupid

Though some giving us good words' for our hearts be encourage
But don't make any difference now' we are very deeply engaged
Lunatic' crazy' high breed' why just broke our hearts?
If you can please! just tear our body and soul apart...


written: August 19, 2014 - 7:30 am

mysterious aries

Armed with empty sentiment and kindness
Sharing just enough to weaken defenses
A whiff of insecurity
And trust disintegrates
With one swift blow

I wear a white mask
A happy smiling face
A face wherein they couldn't even trace
This darkness in my head temporarily being erase
They praise me everyday
To them I'm good, great in every way
Little they know that I'm only holding back
Without a mask they'll know
Know that my head possessed the biggest crack...


written: july 22, 1014

mysterious aries

There was this season for many reason
A failed ambition or bad decision
Too much subtraction, no single addition
Pictures of low resolution, everything in demotion
But surely... Life must go on...

Days of self damnation because of wrong position
Flowers  that need attention for admiration
Head that was full of delusions that needs calibration
Victims of disqualification without any consolation
But definitely... Life must go on...

Minutes of demoralization, hours of depression
Roads of devastation no clear relocation
Eyes shed in repetition because of hard reason
Goodbyes to all special persons for their final destination
But simply.... Life must go on.....

Written: October 23, 2014 at 11:35 PM

I barely sleep
How can I? faces keeps haunting
Whenever I close my eyes,  It's like a movie scene
Fairies, ghost, angels and demons
Dramas, thrillers, actions, comedies and fantasies
They're just one blink away

Tell me how to sleep
When a lot of voices enter my head
Some tell me to be good
Some persuade me to do the other way
Even I put my two hands in my ear
Still voices i can hear

Rarely I sleep
Just a nap thanks to those sleeping pills
It helps me show my sleeping skills
But I can't have it daily
I don't want it to be my habbit

Maybe you wonder
Why schizophrenian amnesia not insomia
I don't know the difference of day and night anymore
The scene was so vivid always keeps me awake
Awake that sometimes I don't remember how to sleep


July 3, 2014
Mysterious Aries

Since I cannot cure my schizophrenia
I decided to end my owned dilemma
I looked for a rope to hang my head
But split in two, that old rope left me undead

But that was not enough to stop my will
In our kitchen, a shining blade
But I pause for awhile for the reason
That I might pass out undead

So I then looked for a key
To open the cabinet
Unsealed the gun that was strictly kept
To put into my head that one tiny bullet
Just one shot and for sure I’ll be lucky dead
I pulled the trigger it didn’t clicked

Then I realized I've never done any
I’m stocked in my lonely room
Chatting with nymphs, those god’s so holy
Then I began to chill while facing demon and ghost so scary

My world was full with delusions
I can fight no more this emotion
Since they cannot cure my schizophrenia
How I wished to end my owned dilemma

But how can I?
They don’t want me to
I was incarcerated in this empty room
No rope to hang this head
No blade to slash my pulse
No gun to point in my head...

written: July 01, 2014
Mysterious Aries

Words blur
Eyes burn
Thoughts implode
Melting under molten memories
The day I stopped being Her

He loved me once
With exuberance and joy
He loved me once
And saw my flaws as perfection
He loved me once
And helped me to love myself
He loved me once
With all that he is
He loved me once
With an honest soul much like my own
He loved me once
And made me believe in forever
He loved me once
With neither question nor doubt
He loved me once
And in a flash of perception
All I can say is...
He loved me once