For as long as I can remember
I've been trapped within a world where my soul does not belong.
I've been seeing black and white amongst sceneries full of color
and I can't stand knowing I am not valuing anything
I am surrounded by.
Messages spit left and right telling me to open my eyes and see the light of day, but I'm not even sure I know what to look for.
And when did it become okay to not value your own life?
When did it become normal to feel like the weight of the world sits on your shoulders and your feet stand concrete in the ground with every inability to make any movement?
If I've ever been given any opportunity to make myself happy, I've lost the ability to stray from the path and experience the things that I once loved.
Now the absence of my healthy state of mind has taught me to be dependent on substances that make each day more and more bearable while I wither away into something I thought I'd want to be.
The days I've spent hoping for a change have made me realize nothing other than the fact that I have no place in this world amongst people who are thriving.
My hands will never be clean but I will still carry this burden and drag it through the hell I call my existence.

having being forgotten
it's the worst