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We sleep at the base of the mountain
Waiting for the path to be made
Through slopes and trees
Great boulders and caves
Back to the summit above
Yet as we wait the mountain grows
Every day whether an inch or a foot
Extending further into the sky
Unreachable and unattainable
We were promised soemthing greater
Than all those who came before us
And yet here we are
Below their accomplishments
With no way forward and no path up
To the summit of the mountain
We begin to understand
Something is missing
Something hidden or obscured
Whether by time or by purpose
And without this knowledge
Lost as it may seem
The glory of the summit
May never be revealed
So let us search now
Within and without
A hunt unending beyond what we know
That we might come at last
To stand atop that mountain
The birthright of us all
He's worn the same clothes for a week
He hopes no-one notices the heart on his sleeve
the heart that bleeds
Lies that he's kept in the brim of his hat
Wondering what's the same
Wandering different towns that
feel the same
Pondering the shame
Longing just to be in control
But he can't indulge
So he self-medicates
So he can meditate
On all the things wrong
That can't be made right
On all the things he writes
Poems that won't be read
only seen
So he can hide behind his words
but he always gets what he
//On writing and reflections//
He's so like a lion with a fearsome roar and yet he's gentle as a lamb and he makes my spirit soar.

He's kind and compassionate and has an open heart. He's been after mine for a while now to give it a jump start.

He's lovable and funny, and he makes me blush. It's not because he's crass but so willing to let love give him a rush.

And now after years of being alone, I see my heart as held steady in his, and I am not on my own.

Which lends itself to some challenges, but nothing we can't face.

Because the best part about this is we found each other in a pool of God's grace.
To read more of my writings go to:
The Moss devours time
This place is unchanged
Swirling in the mists
Of am eternal forest
The Moss gently covers all
Not smothering
But tenderly enveloping
Protecting from the ravages of time
This house I know has been here
Since before I was born
And yet only I look older
The weather effecting me more
Than the wood and tile here
I am old or so I feel
I believe I will lay down for a while
And feel the Moss around me
Down in drops
Never more than three
From the highway above
The stars encapsulated in them
Time flows backward
Or so one would think
Yet the reality hidden to us
Is far more unique

Jupiter passes through us
Ephemeral and ethereal
It's orbit lost long ago
The fortress moon
Now rests upon us
Bearing down upon our souls
With it's unblinking gaze

Our Onlyborn moon
Who raised us from youth
Lies shattered and drowned
In the depths of the sea
And after it's death
Will the sun soon follow
Leaving no light
But that of the watched
Great Birulon displaced
I've heard the words
Of other minds
I've crossed the boundary
Where mundane defines
All that we are
And all we do
We know nothing yet
Pretend we do

I ask you to stop
For a moment and pray
No memorized whispers
You learned on Sunday  
Stop what you're doing
Take your time alone
Admit to your weakness
You're worn to the bone

It's ok to be weak
But pray to be strong
It's ok to be foolish
It doesn't take long
To feel a fire burning
However faintly so
To know that when praying
You are not alone

A simple prayer
Prayed earnestly and often
Has far more power
That one could ever know
I missed the moment to kiss you
You would have tasted the pestilence on my lips

Dried lips suffocated by dust form the word "goodbye"
For love has run its due course on this coarse heart

Weariness has worn down what hope was once planted
But darling love doesn't grow in trees, does it?

so why did it have to die?
//On love//
 Jan 11
Hadrian Veska
Meager roads
Naught but dirt and stone
Paths not tread
Since distant moans

Were howled from the cliffs above

Now the howling
From the wind in the brush
The bleached out bones
Of those who rushed

So swift to meet their ill fate

I will take my time
In reaching that place
That cardinal city
Of splendor and grace

I ponder if it still stands
For someone who has no where to go
 Jan 7
Hadrian Veska
Sun and Moon guide the way
Urban stars lead us astray
From the path rode in the day
And the one we walk at night

I know not much but I know true
When I was young and when I grew
Into the man my Father knew
Since before I was born

That no path I make is worth a ****
Can lead to any promised land
Our path is never what we planned
For that I thank the Lord

If I followed the paths I planned to make
A circle around a lonesome lake  
For no one else than my own sake
I would not have met my wife

I would not have grown and not have loved
No peace to me come from above
No guiding spirit, a snow white dove
To rest upon my shoulders

To light the path ahead

Now I have no plans, I simply do
What I know is right to do
I stumble yes, that is true
But I've learned to stumble forward

And stumbling is not so bad
When there's someone to pick you up
 Jan 5
Jack Jenkins
Oh I am calloused and bruised
I am weathered and used
I don't blend anymore
I just float on the surface

The light that left me
Has me feeling thin
Oh the love that left me
Has me feeling dead

And the love that stayed
Cannot carry me on
I am a wayward son
I am the only lonely one

Is there an end or a beginning
I can no longer tell
These thoughts aren't my own
But they're nobody else's

Oh everyone's a stranger
When you don't know yourself
Everyone's a stranger
I don't know myself
//On love and loneliness//
 Jan 3
Jack Jenkins
2019 hit me hard like most years
but i finally started to hit back
i let myself embrace the pain
said it was okay
and started to heal
i made my peace with a lot of my past
wrongdoings i can't undo
but can forgive
both myself and others
i decided to stay in love with someone not in my life anymore
and that's okay
because she's always had my heart
most importantly i made a resolution for the first time
for 2020 i will not be suicidal
or entertain such thoughts
i will tell my demons
"how dare you think you can scare me into death"
and i will mock the voices that say there is nothing for me here
i am loved
even by myself
//on myself and life//

If you've ever struggled in life, and feel like things never will change... they may not... but you can.
Love you all, and best wishes for 2020
 Jan 1
Jack Jenkins
Old habits smoulder in the secret places in my heart
Like a pack of unlit cigarettes stashed under the bed
Cancer waiting to spread and ignite desires
Oh how I love these wrong desires
Just a sip until I drown
Just a flame til I burn down
//On addiction//

I'm okay. But my demons want me to come out and play.
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