You're a one night stand
But we spent too many nights
I lost count of it.

You're that unexpected kiss
On a drunken wasted night
Of vomits and *****.

You're that awkward hi
Exchanged by strangers who
Thought they both knew each other
But were clearly mistaken for another.

You're the bruise that turns blue
When I accidentally bump my leg
On the corner of the bed.

You're the scar that I never
Knew I had.

You're the bittersweet taste in
My mouth every morning.

You're the last thought lingering
In my head before slumber takes me
And you're the vagueness that
Haunts me in my dreams.

You're the scalding hot shower
In a cold freezing morning.

You're the boiling tea that numbs
My tongue for the rest of the day.

You're the obsession
I will never learn to let go of.

You're that person I will
Never get to call mine.

You're the one that got away.

Don’t worry about my life
Man is mortal
If you want to check my nerves
It’s no use of
If you want to hear my voice
It’s no use of
But if you want to make me alive
Call me for help for needy
Throbbing heart will be struggling
To do something what is possible

Anger
Jealousy
Resentment
Hate

These will surely destroy us if we let them

Forgiveness
Happiness
Gratitude
Love

These will surely save us if we let them

Choose to live, live to be saved…

Not to be destroyed by things we cannot control
But find a way to once again be whole

Does anyone care what happens to me?
It surely doesn’t seem to be
I’ve opened my heart
Given my love
Only to be thrown away
Like a ***** old glove

Am I invisible?
Does anyone care?
Would they take notice?
If I colored my hair

I’m just another face in the crowd
Tears swelling up
My brain screaming loud

Does any of this matter
Waking up every day?
I’m ready to leave
God take me away

We work, we die
I look to the clouds and cry
I only long for peace and joy
They are nowhere in site
So what’s my next ploy?

I really don’t ask for much
All my plans are turning to mush
Doom and gloom is all I see
No knight in shining armor to come rescue me

I made my choices
Not all good ones I admit
But I’ve been trying so hard
I haven’t yet quit

So why is life so unfair?
Almost too much to bear
On foot in front of the other
And here I go again
Hoping for something wonderful
Around the next bend

I woke up on the floor again
My bottle of Merlo my only friend
I didn’t even spill a drop
Take a swig fast, need to hit that spot

How did I get here?
I don’t mean the floor
How did I get stuck in this life I deplore?

I crawl back to my bed
I’m too weak to climb in
My body is shaking, I’m crawling out of my skin

I sit on the floor, a horrific site
Lifting the bottle with all my might
I can’t stand up
I can’t lie down
I can’t even make a single sound

Is this finally the end for me
I cannot think, I cannot see

I’m not sure if I am dead yet
But if I’m not today
Tomorrow’s a safe bet

They allow me to see your beauty
But they also allow me to see sin
Hatred and despair
Through these two things
In my head
I can watch as my friends die
As the world brings itself  into
Destruction
I can see love between my lashes
But when I sleep
The horrors of the day
Replay in my
Eyes

So it ends between us despite how reticent we've been
your words were always dust; it's only now to be seen

You wave the white flag and the mock surrender
as I learn to burn you and rip all asunder
your façade naught but a cheap, grey suit
all show and no substance; your face resolute

The urge now to burn you is humming in veins
I know you so well mere words would stoke flames

You are walking away and your shoulders fake low
deep darkness enshrines the things that I know
temptation to reveal and revel in raised words
brews on inside me, I could make you hurt

and how I wish to force you to admit your pretences
call out the horrors you yourself pre-empted
this is not all me, we two share the blame
but in truth, yes biased, I know whose name
should bare the burden and so not feel the victim
you feel sorry only for yourself; I was the *****
I conned and coxed your simple heart from your skin
but I was not the one who started this, you bare that sin

back away now, yes you had better retreat
because the things I would say you would not meet
there is no guilt in my eyes because you stole it all
giving me words I did not say and taking the fall
that you caused through self-obsessive countenance
go now, go quick, go swift before I renounce
this vow to stay silent, to veil hard thoughts unheard
but one more pity from you and you shall be burnt.