I want to tell him
that I’m scared,
that I’ve been here before.
And that the last time I felt potential like this it imploded;
I imploded.
But I don’t want to taint it,
You see I’m still hopeful
That maybe this time
Won’t end up laced with maybes,
Or what ifs,
Or open wounds pouring blood onto paper.
That maybe this time,
just won’t end.

I’ve not quite worked out whether I think it’s beautiful,
Or stupid -
The human capacity,
And pliancy,
And longing,
For love.

The glass walls surrounding this traditional life style have me stalled in depression. I am not a sad man, though I am sad.
These bills and these jobs all add up to nothing. A confused circle of a circus. My creativity has run dry. My energy is gone. I am a young man, yet feel so old.

Obviously from experience I make a rather easy target
How easy it will be for you to just blame me
Say I am the one who let you down
Tell yourself that I was childish and in mature
That I caused you heartbreak on purpose
That I felt nothing and how easy it was for me to forget you
To move on with life as if we never existed
Get angry with me
Show me your true colors, show me some resemblance of emotion or caring
Anger is so much easier to cope with than pain or loss of love
Give it your best shot dear
Blame me, for the end
Blame me for the silence
Blame me for the loneliness
Blame me for the memories turned to dust
There was no breakup, no loss of relationship
Just loss of friendship
My reasons to do so may have been selfish
But I had to let go, had to set you free from the "what if" that is me.

"That there
That's not me
I go
Where I please

I walk through walls
I float down the Liffey
I'm not here
This isn't happening
I'm not here
I'm not here

In a little while
I'll be gone
The moment's already passed
Yeah it's gone
And I'm not here
This isn't happening
I'm not here
I'm not here

Strobe lights and blown speakers
Fireworks and hurricanes
I'm not here
This isn't happening
I'm not here
I'm not here."

- Radiohead, How to Disappear Completely, Kid A (2000).

I Can't Do This Anymore, I Give Up.

i.

Mine body is frail love
Mine spirit I feeleth soon might be called;
Back whence we cameth from, in the mansion and light of God.

ii.

So if mine essence leaveth
Meeteth me in ourn secret place;
Thou might not rememberest it, tis here thy family, amour', grace.

iii.

So mine queen Jane, O' mine dearest Jane
Do not shed none tear's, if tomorrow I'm not here;
Ourn amare is eternal, undying, no commercial nor rewinding.

iv.

Empress Jane, there shalt be a poem for thee
This is it, just in case, I goeth into eternity;
Loveth me, I'll loveth thee, forever we shalt loveth Jane, Queen.






©Bɾɑղժօղ NɑցӀҽվ
©EɑɾӀ յɑղҽ ղɑցӀҽվ ժҽժíςɑԵíօղ
©LօղҽŚօʍҽ ԹօҽԵ'Ś ԹօҽԵɾվ
©Kíղց ɑղժ զմҽҽղ ԹօҽԵɾվ

Everyone wants me to get better.
Except for my own body.
My bones want to stay sore.
My brain doesn't want to stop.
My heart doesn't want to heal.

...
.
This is not a value of all the guests
who come for two days
At the end of all their hair grew gray
day after tomorrow nobody remember their words

Yellow, red rose of day
Even when it has become fade,
However, when the bursting of the land after rains
Still to stand a dry old tree as the witness of time

Then any other reason If ever come back the spring
The forgotten days song if ever robin reminds you
And all meaningless, the faces skin has felt fold
In front of eye tall wall has touched the sky

Yet  there is a gray afternoon
if you see a red glow in the sky black clouds
Silly, the frivolous legs once try to
Then after all events, remains only a long dark endless night-
..
.
@Musfiq us shaleheen

Sometimes...
The emptiness of words is all I read
The silence of music is all I hear
A blank page of mystery
Sums up my life
With a muted cry
And a single tear

Sometimes...
I give up all my defences
I have nothing to lose
And nothing to gain
Nothing but aches
With a muted cry
And a single tear