I know you promised you wouldn't,
But please don't.
Don't leave me,
Please.
I beg you.
**Don't leave me alone again.

I'm tired.
Not tired enough to die,
Just tired enough to quit.
Quit of everything I have,
Because I have a lot of stuff,
That should hold me to life,
But it doesn't.
I know it will hurt if I don't have them anymore,
A lot.
But pain is what keeps telling me "I'm **** alive",
When I don't want to.
Does that change anything?
Do I change anything with my existence?
I know I do,
But I'll keep deceiving myself,
Because they are not the changes I wanted.

I'm a difficult person,
I admit it.
Sometimes I don't take the words of other people just because of little things about them.
But that's how I'm.
And when a rebellion of voices is in my head,
I start panicking,
I start searching for help.
Some people keep talking with me until I'm calm,
They try to understand me,
Even when I don't understand myself.
And other people just go away,
Stop talking with me,
And call me crazy and stupid,
They give up on me.
I understand them,
If I could I would give up on me too.
But I can't,
And there are people who don't want to give up on me,
They make me see I have some value left,
That's not bad being sad,
Or making mistakes.
We are human beings that's how we are.
So stop expecting me to be perfect,
Stop saying I'm not worth of it,
Because I am.
I have people to prove it.
And if you don't want to stay in my life because of one bad moment of mine,
Then that's your problem,
Not mine.

It's hard to look at myself
It's hard to think about myself
It's hard not to hate myself
And I don't wanna cry
But the tears fall before I can even wipe them away
I wish someone could understand me
Or worship me shall I say?
What the hell do I want?
What do I need to have to feel any different from this?
Love is ****
Happiness is not enough or even limitless
The world is cruel
And I don't know what I'm becoming in all this
I really don't perceive myself as a good person
Am I victimizing myself?
What am I doing?
I don't know where I began
I don't see an end
It's really hard you know?
What am I even doing?
I don't wanna die
But what am I living for?

And I do not regret
Every tear I let come out while you were looking at me
I feel
Those were my feelings
I do not regret feeling any of it
And I know it's a process now
But hey
I did have the courage to express everything I needed to.
You're the coward
And you won't get far with that
And maybe not now
But you will regret it
And if you don't do it with me
You will with someone else
I'm glad I got through this
And now it may not be straight but it's not with you anymore