Bottle green and cherry red
Swirling colour in my head
Sunshine yellow sky blue
I live my life in every hue

Dove grey diamond white
Reality begins to bite
Inky black and milky cream
I think I prefer to dream

Vermilion and indigo
No place left for me to go
What sort of colour is cyan
I don’t know how this began

Amethyst and violet
Colour me so I forget
Purple of the lilac tree
Trapped in magenta misery

All this living makes me ill
Pass me another little pill
Rainbow world of medicine
Shuts me up and locks me in

Tear down the walls of your guilt
You weren't the one who told lies
He charmed you and deceived you
He came like a wolf in disguise

Tear down the walls of your grief
Yes what he did was a shock
But time can be a great healer
You can not turn back the clock

Tear down the walls of your rage
Don’t let your anger back in
That stuff can drive you crazy
That’s how he thinks he can win

Tear down the walls of your hate
It’s time to learn to forgive
You are only hurting yourself
And that is no way to live

Tear down the walls of your doubt
Try to find some self belief
Take back the self assurance
That he took like a cruel thief

Tear down the walls of your pride
Admit that you made a mistake
After all you’re an adult
And that choice was yours to make

Tear down the walls of your pain
Even though he ground you to dust
Not everyone will betray you
Go find someone you can trust

Tear down the walls of your fear
And look everyone in the face
Find the courage to get out there
The world is a beautiful place

Twisted on the point of your knife
Bleeding from the gaping wound
Pouring out all I have to give you
Still you crush me into the ground

You burnt a hole through my heart
Consuming everything of me
Killing all hope of happy endings
I forget what it is to be free

Cut to ribbons inside and out
The scars on show for all to see
Yet because I did this to myself
I dare not ask for sympathy

Adrift on a sea of endless hate
I hate myself for accepting you
I hate you for your gift of pain
I hate this life nothing here is true

My soul is more dead than alive
Empty of all significance
I find my way to a private Hell
And now with the Devil I dance

I wish that I'd been there for you
Through our lost and lonely years
To care for you to love you
To softly dry your tears

But that was not what happened
I pushed you out of my way
As I burned all my bridges
And let pain take full sway

I ignored the silent question
There was nothing I could say
Who would want to understand
The high price I chose to pay

I couldn't look you in the face
See hurt staring from your eyes
I turned around and ran away
I guess you were not surprised

Hell bent on self destruction
I walked my path all alone
I surrendered to my demons
I knew every hope had gone

What had I left to live for
In a world I could not bear
When I begged aloud to die
I believed that no one cared

And yet you did not desert me
You came and held out your hand
Lead me out into the light
That was not what I had planned

You loved me back to happiness
Taught me what it is to live
To keep heaven in your heart
How much we can forgive

If it takes a thousand lifetimes
I could never make amends
But know I won't stop trying
I will love you till the end

The song of the rising sun
Welcoming the new day
Hopeful anticipation
In notes of pink and grey

The song of the whirling wind
Sometimes heady and wild
Sometimes whispering its tune
With the sweet voice of a child

The song of the soaring sky
Reaching towards the stars
A silver tinted symphony
Played on a thousand guitars

The song of the restless sea
A rhapsody in motion
Waves swirling in rhythm
Stillness but a notion

The song of the joyful earth
Greeting each new season
With a simple melody
Of perfect rhyme and reason

The song of my waiting heart
Not beating quite in time
No harmony in my soul
Until the day you are mine

I've been bent I've been broken
I've been shaken to the core
I have suffered torment
Until I could take no more

I have screamed out in anger
How could life be so unfair
When I needed comfort
I could find no one who cared

I have cried many bitter tears
Regretted mistakes I made
All the hurt and misery
What a heavy price I paid

I have felt empty inside me
Despairing and chilled to the bone
Cut off from humanity
Surrounded but all alone

I have lain down in darkness
Seeking an end to my pain
Only to wake in horror
When morning came round again

I have crossed the edge of reason
Where only madness waits
On an path of self destruction
That lead slowly to hell's gates

I have walked through the fire
Let the flames consume my strife
I have risen from the ashes
And stepped into a new life

Who is that girl in the mirror
The one in the bright red dress
Her mouth says hi I'm feeling fine
Her eyes say my life is a mess

Is it her lipstick that's crooked
Or is it the way that she thinks
There's a world of hurt in her heart
And maybe that's why she drinks

Quickly she picks up her glass
Here's to a night on the town
She puts on her best party smile
Finds where she put her bag down

She will go out for the evening
Have fun with friends for a while
Hiding her pain a bottle
Moping just isn't her style

Maybe some guy will please her
Chase dark thoughts from her head
And she will wake up tomorrow
With some stranger there in her bed

Or maybe she'll fall home alone
Pour herself back through the door
Not hear the voice calling mummy
As she lies in a heap on the floor

She will cry tears in the morning
A sea of self pity and shame
Life has spun out of control
And in no way is SHE to blame

She walks a fine line at the office
A finer one with the school
How many times can she do it
How long can she break every rule

Why did her partner leave her
When they'd been together so long
How could that be her fault
When she had done nothing wrong

She has lost friends and lovers
Each parting cuts like a knife
And now her mother is dying
She simply can't deal with her life

How did it get this crazy
Why can't she just get things right
Why is she haunted by demons
That keep her awake through the night

She still looks for an answer
To a prayer she cannot yet say
She walks so scared and alone
Pushing hope out of her way

She has to find her surrender
To be at that all time low
Where her life cannot be managed
And she truly admits this is so

I pray she holds out her hand
Before chaos breaks her apart
I pray she finds her solution
And true peace reigns in her heart

Mine became a life of chaos
Lived on the edge of a knife
Balanced for eternity
Caught between death and life

In the end the fear of living
Burned me to the very core
Without my anaesthetic
I knew I could take no more

There was no fight left in me
I had no heart that I could give
I had no way of surviving
It cost me too much to live

Into a well of silence
I breathed a desperate prayer
Uncertain of an answer
Or who might be out there

As I listened in confusion
The solution came to me
Live a life of honesty
The truth could set me free

So I stepped in the future
I discovered my true worth
And after the death of winter
Came spring my season of rebirth

Sometimes the fear of living
Felt to me too much to bear
I was drowning in reality
My suffering seemed unfair

I could not understand it
I replayed every scene
Deep into my dark nightmares
All my ifs and might have beens

I turned over but one question
Where had it all gone wrong
Nothing quite made sense to me
Like some discordant song

The winds of shame were blowing
Carrying autumn leaves of pain
Raining down tears of heartbreak
I made the same mistakes again

Blind to all life's goodness
I discarded happy thoughts
I learned well the lessons
That my misery had taught

Sinking in my addictions
Numbed without control
I could not fight my demons
So I let them take my soul

I thought that I was happy
In the summer of my youth
I had many years of living
Before I could learn my truth

I danced in silent splendour
To expectation's tune
Thinking that I had freedom
And success was coming soon

Hopes I had in plenty
No thought that I could fail
I walked tall and bravely
Along my chosen trail

The sun shone bright upon me
I basked in its light and heat
Growing ever bolder with
No knowledge of defeat

I felt I knew life's fortune
That I'd always play and win
Holding on to my aces
Was that really such a sin

My golden halo shining
Secure in my self belief
Before desperation took it
Sneaked upon me like a thief

I'm slipping between the cracks
I'm slowly losing the plot
Lost on an unknown highway
In a mind that time forgot

The light has died inside me
It is winter in my soul
Nothing moving nothing living
In a bleak eternal cold

The world inside is lonely
The world outside is tough
Where is help when you need it
I have simply had enough

Only my thoughts for company
As they race around my head
A million shards of heartache
I think I'd be better off dead

I wait in bitter silence
For a message I can't hear
Only empty echoes of
A long forgotten fear

I don't know I got here
And I've stopped asking why
It's too hard to go on living
But I'm too scared to die

Honestly I've been so good
I've waited I don't know how
I've tried to do what I should
But I simply must have it now

I've waited I don't know how
Please I've been really patient
But I simply must have it now
To stop further discontent

Please I've been really patient
I think I deserve my reward
To stop further discontent
Don't let life be this hard

I think I deserve my reward
Honestly I've been so good
Don't let life be this hard
I've tried to do what I should

In a winter long ago
A bright star lit up sky
Only a few took notice
Most just walked on by

Minds full of all their worries
Hearts that beat sad and slow
The Lord looked down with kindness
When He sent His son below

There was no choir of angels
He came without any fuss
But a weight of expectation
His destiny to save all of us

He bore His fate so bravely
He suffered in great pain
Which of us remembers that
As December comes again

Do we pay mind to His message
To live a good life in peace
To love and cherish each other
At one with the Earth and seas

Or do we ignore the gift
Of that first Christmas morn
Forgetting that to save our souls
A holy child was born

I am the daughter of destiny
I watched your past mistakes
I let all your demons loose
So you might learn and grow
I have shaped your present
Shown you wisdom and strength
I have given you your freedom
Now into the future you go

I am the mother of mourning
I know all your unhappiness
I feel your tiredness and pain
When you hurt my heart bleeds
In this world of harsh reality
I will dry your saddest tears
I will heal your aching wounds
Hold you when you are in need

I am the sister of serenity
I am your light in the dark
The comfort of a quiet dream
Sent to help you rest at ease
I will be your guardian angel
Your protector and your guide
I will send you thoughts of love
So that your soul knows peace

Don't forget me the soldier
I love my country that's true
Here on the world's battlefields
I fought for you I died for you

Don't forget me the sailor
I love my country that's true
Here on the world's oceans
I fought for you I died for you

Don't forget me the pilot
I love my country that's true
Here in the world's heavens
I fought for you I died for you

Don't forget me the mother
I sent my son off to war
He did not come home to me
What is all the fighting for?

We are the politicians
You see us laying our wreaths
We send your loved ones off to war
And too many to their deaths

We do not have yesterday
That time has flown quickly by
A random series of moments
Gone in the blink of an eye

Such a pretty collection
Of memories to recall
Captured in dusty images
Hung the length of the hall

Every one is slowly fading
Was that shirt red or blue
Life quietly seeping away
With their diminishing hue

We do not have tomorrow
That is not how this world works
The future is a distant land
Where only the unknown lurks

Nothing but an empty canvas
Waiting without a frame
We paint it with expectation
In some kind of guessing game

There is no map to guide you
To show you the easy way
Just some unspoken promise
We have forgotten to say

We know all we have is now
This time is ours to own
One brief second to make a mark
One brief second then it's gone

Let our hearts beat together
In rhythm with earth and sky
Squeezing the most from today
No regrets we wave it goodbye

Nothing matters but this time
Enjoying the present with you
Until the sun splits the dark
And the world wakens anew

I never going to be part of this family
I know that now

I'm not the boy
The one the sun shines out of
He can do no wrong

Even when it's his fault
It's my fault

He will smell of roses
And take it for granted

I'm not the pretty one
The one who can smile
And get what she wants

Even when she messes up
She is the victim

She will be bailed out again
Poor thing

I'm not the sensible one
The one who is practical
And is a good mother

She is so patient
She never shouts

Even when she is selfish
She is only taking care of herself

Where do I fit in?

I'm older than the boy
That's not good enough
I'm prettier than the pretty one
That's not good enough
I'm more sensible than the sensible one
That's not good enough

To say life isn't fair
That's not good enough
Not by a long way

I am judged by my mistakes
But they don't define me
They made me strong
They taught me wisdom

I am loved by a good man
And by my children
That is good enough

If you can't see the difference in me
I don't want to be part of this family

I'm never going to be prom queen
I know that now

That's for the pretty girls
The popular girls
The ones with the golden hair
and the blue eyes

The ones the boys look at
When they laugh
When they sway across
the playground

The girls in the cute clothes
With the cute smiles
That flick their hair
With nonchalant grace

The ones with curves
In the right places
The ones that
don't have to try

They are never alone at break
They don't sit at home
reading books
Or writing poems

They don't cry themselves
to sleep at night
Because some boy
Did not see them today

They don't feel the hurt
Of loving in vain
Of living a lie
Of hating what they see in the mirror

They don't wake each day
Wanting to die
Wanting it to go away
Wanting what will never be

They don't feel that
They get to be prom queen
They shine with ease
Charming the world

I'm never going to be prom queen
But I am going to be me

Lonely days lonelier nights
Staring blankly at the flickering screen
Or simply into a distance
Where nothing but pain awaits

It is not a kind pain
Not the pain of the body that heralds healing
Or reminds me not to do that
Not a brief pain

It is a pain of the soul
A pain so deep and timeless it will never leave me
A pain of the mind
Bringing night terrors and days of torment

How many ways have I tried to fix myself
My broken self my empty heart
My fatal addictions
My distractions from reality

I can't count them all
I could not find a solution
Each failure reinforcing the lie
That next time it will be fine

I surrender to my despair
To my infinite darkness
Waiting in vain for a twin soul
To make a human connection

You are so beautiful you break my heart
Your eyes hold the secrets of the universe
Your hair glints with stolen rays of sunshine
Your arms strong and safe are my harbour

Soft and gentle your breath in the air
Caught there momentarily frozen
Before I draw it deep inside of me
Capturing that essence for my own

You go through your life with grace
Each movement a sweet tuneful note
Some short some long every one in time
A symphony created in life's rhythms

On your face my fingers trace my love
Leaving no mark there to be seen
But I know that each tiny caress
Will write my thoughts on your soul

There is no beginning there is no end
How can there be we are timeless
Taken out of the maelstrom of the world
To dwell forever in each other's hearts

Some where my soul was waiting
To become a little girl
In the arms of my angel
I have entered the world

When I have felt joy and pain
Known life at its worst and best
In the arms of my angel
I will take my night's rest

When I have learned wisdom
And have nothing left to prove
In the arms of my angel
I will find laughter and love

When I have seen times of trouble
And yearn for a sweet release
In the arms of my angel
I will seek my heart's peace

When my days here are over
And it's time to say goodbye
In the arms of my angel
I will lay me down to die

Now all earthly toils are done
My sins have been forgiven
On the wings of my angel
My soul will fly to heaven

I am the wild flower
In the wind you see me dance
Uncertain in my blooming
Swayed by life's every chance

I am the restless river
Pure energy in motion
Caressing every riverbank
With unmatched devotion

I am the singing breezes
That haunt the tops of trees
Whispering all your secrets
In the rustling of the leaves

I am the sun-kissed heavens
Alive with hope and light
Each ray sent to remind you
You must not give up the fight

I am the moonlit midnight
With skies of velvet dark
Bringing you sweet comfort
From a day that left its mark

I am the star filled universe
Vast in my endless reach
You will roam in me forever
Learning all I have to teach

I am elemental
I am vital I am strong
I will fill your soul with music
To last a lifetime long

This isn't what I remember
When did your hair turn so grey
How come I didn't notice
That old age had come to stay

This isn't what I remember
When did you grow so tired
You struggle for every breath
Yet still find words that inspire

This isn't what I remember
When did you grow so old
Though your eyes are still smiling
Your skin feels clammy and cold

This isn't what I remember
When did you become so ill
Hooked up to all these machines
Nurses caring with such skill

This isn't what I remember
Not the laughing days of youth
No not the games and stories
At least that is my heart's truth

This isn't what I remember
Somehow our lives grew apart
But even on my darkest days
You were always in my heart

All those happy memories
Life wasn't meant to turn this sad
But you will know as I do
I have always loved you dad

Hey what's going on in there
What's happening in my brain
Just let me get hold of it
Before it gets lost again

Some days a thought is lonely
And goes rattling round my head
Bouncing in endless circles
Long after it should be dead

Sometimes they come in battalions
Like spies to steal my secrets
Spewing them out to the world
Before I know any regrets

I'd like to feel totally numb
To float above all the pain
To find and press the off switch
To get off this express train

Sliding down into forever
Synapses without a spark
Someone turned off my power
One more beep flatline I'm dark

Once upon a legend
On a day that time forgot
I felt my heart cease beating
And I knew the world had stopped

No wind stirred in the treetops
No more sweet flowers growing
No waves upon the oceans
The rivers were not flowing

The moon lost in the heavens
No place for her to go
Forever left in darkness
No light for the world below

Dawn is never coming here
No new day is being born
The sun will not be rising
Night will not turn into morn

Caught in a painful silence
All earthly life is stilled
The source of this disaster
Is a promise unfulfilled

The promise that you made me
The cruel game you played
The dark truth echoes bleakly
In the heart that you betrayed

White walls empty walls pure white
Such an infinite blank canvas
Enriched with expectation
Of all that may come to pass

White walls empty walls pure white
A life unlived a life unwritten
In the time of innocence
Before life's hurt has bitten

White walls empty walls pure white
A face unlined a heart unbroken
A heartbeat dancing with joy
The fatal lie still unspoken

White walls empty walls pure white
A hand untouched a hurt undefined
Everything left to play for
No need yet to hit rewind

White walls empty walls pure white
Fingers unburnt tempted by fire
Scorched seared and blackened
A soul emptied of desire

White walls empty walls pure white
A mind in prison a mind in chains
Lost without an exit sign
In a land where chaos reigns

White walls empty walls pure white
Boundaries of a life unloved
Scarred with the marks of torment
But those walls have never moved

Why would I drink from a glass
When the bottle is just as good
One of those insane questions
Anyone would if they could

Why would I put the cork back
When there's something left to drink
Yeah I can take another
And I don't care what you think

Why would I have just the one
When two or three is better
It's not like I'm off the rails
Like some crazy jet setter

Why would I want to stop now
When the party has just begun
Hold on for a wild evening
I'm going to have me some fun

Why would I want to go on
When the fun is clearly over
I have left a trail of chaos
Everyone has run for cover

You look at me like I'm nuts
If only you could understand
It's all way out of control
Up there and no place to land

So please let me down gently
From this my jumping off place
I don't want to live like this
With tomorrows I can't face

I need to find an answer
Something to calm my mad head
Won't somebody come save me
Or I'm going to wind up dead

My love is like the healing rain in spring
That falls softly to nourish the earth
She refreshes my sad weary spirit
And brings my lonely soul peace and rebirth

My love is like the warm summer sunshine
That caresses the flowers into bloom
She is fire she is alive with passion
Her presence dispels dark from my room

My love is like the wild wind of autumn
A tempest that strips the leaves from the trees
Restless and haunting she walks in my dreams
Always searching I know not what she seeks

Ah but when the chill of winter abides
She will come home then to be by my side

In me all your strength lies
The source of your bright power
Come then oh Lord of the Night
Seek me in my tall tower

All your beloved essence
Courses through my veins
In the blackness of my blood
Not a trace of light remains

You drink me like a fine wine
Heady and sweetly perfumed
Swallowing deeply slowly
Until all of me is consumed

Your words echo out to me
Searing silence like a knife
Calling to the dark within
Extinguishing all my life

I give myself completely
Each moment till I grow old
You take all your heart from me
You command my very soul

In me all your strength lies
The source of your bright power
Come then oh Lord of the Night
Seek me in my tall tower

My music will fill your soul
I will rock you all night long
I will be your melody
I am woman I am song

I will take you by the hand
I will be your second chance
Ever moving ever changing
I am woman I am dance

I will watch you when you sleep
I will set your mind at ease
I am your serenity
I am woman I am peace

I will keep you in my heart
I will be your safest place
I am your life's blessing
I am woman I am grace

I will help you smile again
I will fix what men destroy
I am all your happiness
I am woman I am joy

I will catch and hold your heart
I am what you're dreaming of
I will stand by you a lifetime
I am woman I am love

I am steadfast I am kind
I will not let love grow cold
More precious than red rubies
I am woman I am gold

I will dry the tears you cry
I will go to any lengths
To shield you from life's fury
I am woman I am strength

I am alive with passion
I will be your heart's desire
I will light your darkness
I am woman I am fire

I will never lie to you
Whether life is rough or smooth
Because honesty is freedom
I am woman I am truth

I will be your nourishment
I will be your loving wife
I will bear you children
I am woman I am life

I will never stop believing
In you till the end of days
I will nurture your spirit
I am woman I am faith

I will never let you down
I will celebrate your story
Lift you up on wings of hope
I am woman I am glory

I will love you as you are
I will embrace your flaws
In this and every lifetime
I am woman I am yours