There's nothing left to wonder about
I've taken up every burdens out
Enough of creating little mysteries
It is just a train of reckless undefined series
Like those of million raging stars at night
Who says that there's no such thing as fright
In a what they've seen as perfect land
I got there and there was no helping hand
Stars look like magical dust in a stunning way
But no one sees that it is dying from lightyears away
Time to wake up, dear pretty little mind
Collect every shining tears to be bind
Reality is always better than dreams
Hard but could get better than it seems

without any further words that deceives
this girl I talk about just simply wished she's dead
hatred, blames and pain are all she receives
from this wicked world of sinners embedded
though she tried to weep and then fight back
life's much stronger than her little tormented hopes
then she felt that all she is, is nothing but a setback
days of agony will pass until beyond her scopes
this girl is not a girl of smiles anymore
she is a lost soul enclose in the anatomy of a pretty lady
in her heart, pure sadness and anger are in store
like a sunshine that used to glow, but sooner became hazy

No, I didn't suicide; thank God this is now a testimony of His glory
Lost but found; for I met Jesus that made this a happy ending story

I have this bad habit
--pinching my scars 'til it hurts
Like it was stabbed yesterday
But you were always there
To patch the unseen bleeding
With your gentle, healing hand
And wiped my self-induced tears
You were full of my stains and yet
You were grateful to my art
That's how I know I love you
Not because you healed me,
But because you stayed
And you always do

I grieve on an empty grave where I should be
Til I'm drowning in tears, vulnerable and free
There are no monsters under my bed,
They are resting easy inside my head
That's why it's always heavy, as the skies are always stormy

Do not get drowned with me,
Even if I am reaching for your hands.
No, don't go.

i don't know why
the rain is most hated
does it really denotes sadness?
what if the rain was there
because she loves the sun
and so whenever the sun isn't
there, she'll take over
what if the sun has runaway
to chase his lover
and whenever he's gone
rain will arrive to take over;
to save the day
yet i don't think she saved herself though
i saw her crying whenever
does she denotes sadness?
-- i think it's pure love

​turned my music volume up
just to find out that
loud is unclear
loud is vague
but loudness screams
what our lips can't
and it satisfies us
we thirst for something
we can't do for ourselves

like loving.

of all the vibrant colors
yellow had been invisible to me
all the other had gone withered
but yellow breathe back life into thee
and I, a sunflower with a brown center
had never noticed the yellow in me
I am shining in the amidst of lonely winter!
my petals have endured strong winds
now I can see, I am stronger than ever,
no extreme weather shall defeat me;
for I am not just a flower
I am a mighty sunflower, I will not wither.

The sun knocks on my heart
Where there it sets and I am relieved
I smiled because I knew my sun
Its sunrays are enough to recharge me
Its calming radiance never refuse
To wipe my tears when the pain comes
Its warmth is enough to defeat coldness of any kind
It is when the night shall enter
Grim darkness is ready to clothe my universe
The sunset in me will glow still
-- an everlasting blythe
Enough to lighten up others' too

memories are just psychological images
that our prosaic minds replay without consent
once or twice will be marked as nonchalant
but for hundred times it's difficult
it is not a mere memory anymore,
but a virtual, psychological world
you are living the same history everyday
bittersweet, in a dungeon of illusory reverie

You and I is synonymous to us
however, us is synonymous
to impossible
because impossible is synonymous
to you'll never love me
yet my love for you will remain synonymous
to forever
while your love is synonymous
to her



And us is synonymous
to never together.

I don't know where to start









I couldn't express the beats of my heart








Sorry if I couldn't say it in person








I will just surely stutter, so pardon













I will just make it simple.









I love you, that's all.










I'm not hoping for "I love you too"







But if perhaps you do...








just please







Take me to Paris.

hinarangan na ng duda,
mga alinlangan at pangamba
ang mga matang lumuluha
hapo at balisa

halika, sinta, ihakbang ang mga paa
kahit puno nang takot pa,
patungong pag-asa, makakaahon,
makakausad, makakabangon

ang mga hapdi ay may hangganan
kung di pa handa, hindi kailangan tumahan
may kapanalunan kahit humihikbi
may tagumpay kahit ang puso'y sawi

sa dulo may naghihintay na liwanag,
may mga sagot na sisinag,
sa mga tanong **** bakit,
darating ang ginhawa kapalit ng sakit

I like me when I'm with you
I smile genuinely because of you
You give me peace when I'm with you
You clear my vision of a cruel world
And replace it with love
You are synonymous to a life I want to live everyday

You are that special to me.

that man...
he's a goner trapped in a physical flesh
he trusts no one
well, I guess
and hatred is feasting his soul
he's a stranger everyday and no one
knows him
that man...
he's good at deprecating himself
in his mind, you'll find an eccentric kind
of chaos
in his heart, it is over a negative hundred fahrenheit
-- stonecold.
but that is my man
he is a beautiful chaos
I see him as precious as a water to this earth
I want to hold him moreover a forever
until he bleeds no more
until he could smile a genuine one
until his heart becomes warm in my embrace

but my man clothed himself
in thick sheets of anxiety

yet, I will reach brokenness to cover him
with my love, I'll do it until it fix him

yes, I really love that man.

The art of letting go is getting tough
I thought I'm living enough
Well it does if it means agony
I over-saturated your totality in me
You're not my everything
You are my one thing
The grievance is great
Yet my love for you is greater
So here I am, standing still,
Letting you go with a smile painted in my lips
Does it mean, I've mastered the art of letting go?

My whole life recently
Is just about... Escaping.
From the world that is
Fairly unfair, tricky as always
But here's the saddest part
Of escaping:
The one who was running away
With me,
Is now running away
From me

Let's begin with hello
The first to fall must go
It doesn't promised a good end
But surely you'll be loved for a moment

               I, you, him, her, them... us


The winner will be the last


                                      ....



Bring on your greatest ace...

                           For this is not your typical race

Darling, wear your most fabulous smile
We'll be lying for a while.


We will master the art of pretending
But no one should be caught by the word "believing"


We'll create our own fantasies,
a perfect dreamland of love stories




............. Just play

................... and stay

.............................. act your role

....................................... bring em' to the highest pole


Hold on




Hold on





Hold on






more..





Hold on






a little more....




Hold on...





Just hold on





then...






DROP THEM OFF.
--








O u t.


:)









Now welcome, dear.


Ain't it fun?




one more thing.






pardon.







Forgive me haha I lied



This isn't a game.





This is REALITY.

"pathetic"
"you're a miserable wretch"
"go back to the God-forsaken universe you came from"
"nobody likes you"
"plain. you are nothing."
"the world is good but better without you"
"non-sense"
"why are you so ugly?"
"talk to yo self"
"can you just.. di*?"
"painful? oh dear that serves you right"
"you'll never be enough"
"what a chaos"
"eww ***** you"
"8billion ppl and no one's grateful for your existence"




ugh.

hearing her again is infuriating my mind.

so I shut her up.

what happened to her, you guess?

read the title.

Maybe I have never really learn
How much I adore someone
Until I see you coming to me
With your uplifting smiles
After a long, exhausting day,
Bringing light to my clammy world
Your laughter is a musical that tickles my soul
Your brown eyes never fails to see
the beauty in everything,
The same eyes that saw the beauty in me
You make everything look so lovely
How are you this precious?
Just the fact that I've met you is already a wonderful gift
But here you are willingly sharing all your pieces of grace with me
You invite me to a better world each day
Wherein pain will not linger until tomorrow
Because you always reminds my heart to believe and have faith in my prayers
at the end of every single day
Yes, I do, I will admire you for all of our eternity

i was reading my own poems













i cried.

I've encountered a beautiful poetry
the day I looked into your heart
I saw stories that could
make me listen in fondness
may deliver pain or happiness
yet it is worth every ounce of it
and unlike any other poems,
yours is the only one
that has the perfect rhyme,
a lullaby to my restlessness
just as the poetry itself,
the one upon you is mysterious.
still you are worth it;
you are worth seeking
I will devote discovering
every piece of you every day
Have I told you before?
I like poetry but...
yours is the one I will love endlessly

I love you.
you are the poetry that I need.

you are funny
that's one reason why I loved you
you're so funny that you brought
my laughter to almost teary eyed
- the kind of joyous, always precious
but not until you vanished
I thought you were just ''being funny''
so I laugh while convincing myself
that you didn't mean to made my tears
fall down from my cheeks
yet that was the same tears you promised
to wipe away
- the kind of burden that crashes me inside
the sun has risen, the sun has set,
the moon was there, and the moon left
I watched the same routine for I don't now
how long, I just knew it was hard
grieving for the love I once dreamt to last

'til it was you again, coming back from nowhere,
you used the same bridge that I walked on
to get back to myself and heal

you are always funny.
now, I'm just laughing at you.

How many times did she declared herself dead?
Maybe same as the number of stars above the night sky
In which she tell every pain she had before she forgets
How to really live rather than just to plainly breathe

The awakening has now come into her dreamland
She will be dressed as one of those shining stars
She is brave because God her out of courage.
Marvelous enough to bring revival to her soul.

She is a woman.
No other person shall build her
For she can do it herself
She is heaven-sent, a woman of God.

The way God brings comfort to thee,
Is through the shape of her.
She once forgotten her worth,
She is the revival.

today feels like yesterday
and tomorrow's just another day
can someone tell the difference?
only time runs but not with my agony
it never runs out
still waiting for the death of darkness
but still i love the night
when someone walks in through
my strong great walls,
they break
when will be my daybreak
i want to finally learn to love light
because it seems to love me
then realized it was not about any other entity
its just me and my sadness
it never got any better,
somehow thankful to the lies
because it keep my dreams living
so whenever you see me smile
maybe i just get used to it
and yeah.
the saddest poem i'll ever write
is never really written in these words
the saddest poem i'll ever write
is the hollowed part engraved in my heart

laughing isn't a denotation of happiness
sometimes, of hardships too
smiling isn't just for positivity
sometimes, it transcends negativity
staring isn't always a creepy deed
sometimes, it's because you've lost in beauty
or perhaps in tragedy;
crying doesn't always mean that your sad
sometimes, you outcry for joy
or sometimes for a need
and being silent doesn't always
correspond with madness
sometimes, you just have too
so you can hear yourself's plead
and feel your own emotions
and everything else will follow
... eventually

Not all lost were found
some are forgotten

you compared yourself
to the moon
hideous, unwanted
you shine in the night
when it's cold
some said you're beautiful
I believed you are
but more than that
you underestimated the moon
not knowing that
i am a selenophile

whenever a person promised me something
i will really count on it until...
that promise breaks and so as my heart

The darkness of the clouds fit
In her tired eyes but still it lit
Everything that it sees
Beyond failures, there will be good deeds

You will not always hear her say a thing
But her mind doesn’t denotes a dried field in spring
Look at her, she smiled when you threw her fire
She turned it to a stunning  sapphire!

No is her answer to your why
She’s genuine enough to not lie,
Yet wise enough to realize that she never owed
Anyone an explanation for what she sowed

You see black and white
But there are too many colors on her sight
Blended together not to be aesthetically pleasing,
Just enough to give her soul a nice feeling.

Lord, I thank You for Your goodness to us
You are never failing
Your works are perfectly knitted by Your loving hands
I thank You for breathing life to our Cj,
You wonderfully showed us Your goodness through his life
Your grace flows in his life and we are truly blessed
I pray, Lord, that You will always hold him in Your hands
I pray that You will not lose sight of him,
Guide him, Lord, in every step of his journey and
be it always with You, always by Your side
Bless his heart, Lord Jesus, may he grow more deeply in love with you before anyone and anything else
Bless his mind, Lord Jesus, may he always find peace and wisdom  in Your promises
Bless his life, Lord Jesus, may he continue to be a channel of blessings to all of us for more and more years,
Bless him to prosper, Lord Jesus, may Your plans be the blueprint of his breakthroughs this 2021
Bless him to have a good health, Lord Jesus, may You heal every area of his life that needs healing
Bless him in his career, Lord Jesus, I pray that You will be the One to increase his skills, knowledge and abilities in order to accomplish more breakthroughs
Bless his heart, Lord Jesus, to always stay humble before You
Bless his heart, Lord Jesus, that he may be still when challenges of life are testing him
Bless his heart, Lord Jesus, give him the power and strength to overcome more mountains with faith
Bless his heart, Lord Jesus, may he remember Your goodness and grace all the time, especially in the hardest times of his life
I pray that You will send him comfort when no one is able,
I pray that You will hear him out when no one is there to listen,
I pray that You may give the desires of his heart
I pray that Your will be done in his life
and lastly Lord, I pray that I may be able to take good care of him, help me to love him right, to love him like how you love us.
We believe in Your mighty power, Lord
We believe in Your desire to hear Your children's prayer
We worship Your beautiful Name, Lord Jesus.
In Your Name, Lord Jesus, we trust and we claim victories and answered prayers,

Amen.

I'm tired of you
I'm tired of receiving so much dramas
I'm tired of listening to your rants
I'm tired of watching your silly moves
I'm tired of your weird personality
I'm tired of understanding your logic
I'm tired of your boring life
I'm tired of your childishness
I'm tired of how you talk
I'm tired of seeing you laugh loud
I'm tired of seeing you frown
I'm tired of seeing you cry
I'm tired of how you look
I'm tired of you.
I'm just really tired of everything about you
I'm used through it.
All I ever want to do now is to love it.
All I ever want to do now and forever is to love you.

I'm tired.
and I'm sad.
but I'm not sad because I'm tired
it is because...
you are the rest that I need
but I can't have you.

Your drive to do things is always valuable
You pour out your heart into the labor of your hands
You may not always see the fruit of it but one day you will
I saw you struggle but you refused to stop
You refused to give up when your will find its escape from your heart
When passion seems to be cold,
you stand firm and continued to move forward
You are so admirable and I am confident to say
That one day, you will attract breakthroughs
I  will be the first to hug you by then
I will be the first to shed tears of joy with you
I am certain that God pleases to bless His son with so much more
I see the worth in you, the potential you just can't see yet
I saw how precious of a blessing you are
That God made you with so much creativity
Sooner, you will tell a great testimony of God's goodness and grace

i hope that when i wrote you a poem
you'll read it
it's not about you
not totally describing you
or what you did to me
or how we used to be
it is not a mere poem
it is my heart poured into letters
--my soul's message for you
so whenever i write poems for you,
I hope you read it.

Sad to think that we are all tired souls
We run fast to fulfill all our roles
And I, in a cycle of hurry,
The world wouldn't stop to wait for me
All the wounds I've got is excruciating
Yet my feet's programmed to keep walking
Lost on my way are the hopes and dreams
Conquered by silent defeaning screams...
In a world where your best is always less
Yes, we're all tired souls, I want my rest.

many will love a red rose
but few will love its thorns

many will like a blue sky
but few will not curse the rain

many will adore the moon
but few will actually gaze at it

It's been a year and a couple of months since we started talking. Who would've thought that it was you and me. Who would've thought that we are meant to be this inlove. I am more than glad to meet you and all the versions of you. You are always surprisingly amazing and lovely. If I could just express in words how deeply inlove I am with you, you would know better. I want you always. I love you always. I am forever grateful to have you. I am forever blessed to be with you and to be loved by you. It is your birthday today and I am the happiest to celebrate it with you. I am the happiest because I received a gift that is priceless and heaven-sent and that is you!

We will be celebrating more birthdays of ours together. We will cherish each moments and learn to love more from time to time. You are always in my prayers. Happy birthday, baby!


Sincerely,
Stephanie

Going into not so good side
Something to believe, bonafide
Where about's in truths and lies
Does your innocence hides?
If I said, I died, would you believe?
What is truth and what is lie
I died while I'm still alive
This is truth but this is mystery
I played the music of treachery
Left no lyrics to sing
When I won as I am losing
The good in lies
Has been revealed to my eyes
Truths are not truth without it
Lies are made to complete the cycle
You and I, we're the cycle
Between us two,
Who's the lie and who's the true?

Hindi tugmaan ang pipigil
Sa isang tulang malaya
Buhay ang pag-ibig
Umiindak nang naaayon sa himig
Hayaang tumakas ang mga
Damdamin at kumawala
Upang pagdating nang araw ay
Walang pagsisihan sa mga
Pagkakataong nawala

oo nga eh, nakakapagod.
masakit 'di ba?
hindi lang ikaw.
'wag kang hahanap
ng dahilan para sumuko
marami na ang nagtagumpay
at nakasulat ang pangalan mo
sa talaan ng mga susunod pa
asahan mo na
mas lalo pang hihirap
mas lalo pang sasakit
ngunit tumayo ka d'yan dahil...


                                          
           ­                                             

kakayanin mo!

Watch me burn
Touch me not
Hear me scream
Say nothing
Collapsed and distressed,
Stay on point
This room so crowded
No place for pity
Watch me burn
With smile a lot
Hear me scream
Say a laugh
Collapsed and distressed,
You stayed on point.
You killed me twice.

two letter word and the goodness it held;
crossover the forbidden pleasure of sense
no sudden burst of supernova
shall ruin my assayed constellations
if million years do exist, why seconds don't?
but if I have to wait a light-year for my universe,
I will spell out a more magical three letter word
when the time has come and everything's in place
where would I be? in my universe?
I wish I'm with my universe, but first...
let me be drowned in my own bittersweet dreams
I'm not yet done in killing myself so I could finally live
if matter has space and has mass and so do I,
then why I keep asking "do I matter?"
the absolute value is not my care, to whom is
because for those who really care is the essence of worth
many claimed pledges were already burned
by the raging wrath of my trust-doubting sun
in a world full of lies, where should I start
to breathe the purity of painful truths?
so by then...
four letter word will rest in my soul again

Be freed
O' my wandering soul
Loosen those ropes,
Unpack and unload

The bridges won't fall
Don't be scared to step in
Your weight is not heavy
You're not who you think you are, definitely not what they think you are

You can go miles after miles
Forests after roads
Rivers after mountains
Paradise after deserts

Barefoot, but you won't get weary
Won't get thirsty nor hungry
It's time for you to be happy
You will rendezvous with serenity

Be freed
O' my wandering soul

I ain't afraid of the dark anymore
I ain't afraid of horrible loneliness
You know what I'm afraid of?
You and you and you
All of you.

You didn't even see it?
You disguise care as salt to my bleeding wounds
No one understand it at all
The more you come close,
The more it's getting crowded for me
My neck, my whole body, I am strangled
I can't breathe!

Every time you speak
You blow up a big paranoia in my head
Your bullets are betrayals
Your daggers are false hopes
You are already killing me

All of you.

Rainbow smiles
Do not match her lifeless eyes

What a satisfaction it brings
When people are left off wondering
Search me until you are lost
I'm always close to nothing
Thought I was near but lightyears away
No one will ever know
The universe clothe my soul with galaxies
Which part of me do you love
Have you met me in all my dimensions
No one will ever know
I'm the kind of paranoia that bothers thy peace
Impulses are destructive so it did to me
I was buried in ocean deep of secrecy
A masterpiece of mystery.