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all have gone far and wide
there, a fair distance away
where no eye spy nor stray
only hindsight dare confide
even sproutlings coy in Spring
no fresh joys will they bring
still from Sun, buds cannot hide
I was wedged between blue leather, scribbling axes into the shape of question marks; and you were laid on blue woven wicker, snoring and many miles away.
Now, I am sinking into fluffy blue polyester; and you are sleeping on a table carved of icy blue steel.
It is strange, isn't it?
I did not know you then, I will never know you now.
Reflections of childhood bubbling after a death in the family.
 Sep 2024 Christian Bixler
Rai
I got swallowed up by solitude
Addicted to its peaceful gentle touch .
It held me in my moments
It held me ….
An unwanted prize
That's what lies
Beyond the reflection of skies
Behind these blue eyes
Past this gentle disguise
Child like but wise
Keeping from view what would give rise
To a litany of farewells and goodbyes

©2024
and then
when the dust settled.

oh
clarity
what did you do for me?

ignorance is preferable
when
you don't need to know.
This mangled heart of mine
I've had to start retraining
Teaching it to feel once more
Encouraging it to love
Without replacing the core
Stop keeping score
Don't forget player one
That character
Looking back from the mirror
No need to fear the next beat
More than the one before
Reassuring we'll find the shore
We still have one oar
Emphasizing no two moments are identical
Learn from the past,
Accept what's in-store
Hurt stops at nothing
But look how far you've made it while sore
Battles have been lost
But make sure
To stand tall amidst the war
Don't be your own saboteur

©2024
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