the string of thoughts that runs through my mind is longer than the hair caught between our lips

i run long strands of golden blonde across your open lips, as you burry me in olive colored skin and white bones

you asked me to cut your hair

i cut you until you called me beautiful

all the time we were running

we didn’t know that we were slowly going

backwards

when i'm with you
everything else seems so
insignificant

I truly
CANNOT
WAIT
to not love you anymore

i've been so lost
to the point
of
digust
of myself
and you
making me
so low

you want to know
my
true
feelings
well ******* for lying to me
******* for wasting my time
well ******* for pretending to like me
and ******* for wasting my love
*******
*******

lion lies
scorpion sighs
alone
your lies
plans kicked
words unsolvable
SO ******* SELFISH
your lies
just smile and nod
flatten myself
oh it's okay
being hurt is okay
a ***** heart is okay
your lies
thrift store shoes
heels
stomped into my sternum
your lies
hidden and masked
by tender kisses
that we both know
are absolute *******.

You built me up just to break me down.

What has it been?

one

five

two

a half

five

seven

none

none

three

none

Esto leboue abache
Furgate en quinso

Waiting for a train to come
a quick fragrance hits me
and immediately I am reminded of you
The path I'm taking
Seeking comfort
subway lines
Match
Like socks
The train is here
Off I go

it's funny
it's so new
it's electric
HA
crooked teeth
chest hair
your own barber
astrology
****
bones
lips
tongues
OH
sleep
draped
over
me

You bit my lip
So ******* hard
That it hurts
To drink alcohol
Thank you.

you rest a pipe in
the place between my
hip bone and stomach
it was cold
you were anything
everything
but cold

my spine curls
third party
two bodies
one body
oh
X

He stands tall
proud
open
vertebrae linear
shining like the moon
sugar skin wrapped around  
delicate bones
and hardworking hands

He exudes comfort
like a warm summer night lying beneath billions of
constellations
they shine brighter with him
like crystals

Flowers grow from him
His heart is so much more caring than the sun
who berates delicate green tendrils with unforgiving heat
mysterious clouds can't shield his
effervescent energy
nor can smoke

He shoots electricity from his
fingertips
sparking life
igniting

He lifts massive weights
of time
of pressure
from the world's shoulders

He is now and infinite.

To you
I owe nothing
yet I give you everything

To me
you owe nothing
yet you take everything

I threw up in the rose bush

hot yellow and thick

nothing has been on my stomach in weeks

yet over-exaggerated thoughts

nagging doubt

justified distrust

is upsetting me

I threw up in the rose bush

I hope they survive better than I can

I never learned to trust myself because I never learned to ride a bike.

It's not very poetic
I just really want to
sit on your face

**** water and hot tea
i love when you wake up with me
our eyes roll back to earth
we melt
i can't remember the last time i cared so much
i felt
true emotions that make me high
i wanna hit the L and hold you like a baby
one of these days you'll tell me you love me
maybe

just
so
you know
i'm
not
hanging around
much
longer

You fly away when I want to hold you and you fly away when I don't give you attention.

What kind of bird are you?

bones flowing in golden space
strands of hair separating
limbs cascading forward
fingers grazing heaven
toes beneath the earth

you're like alcohol because you make me feel like I'm being wasted. you're like alcohol because I always feel sick after a night binging on you.

you soothe my stomach when you're inside me

you stop my brain when I make you smoking hot

I want to be your favorite piece of music that you play in the dead of night when you can't fall back asleep.

memories spinning
like vinyl records
once glossy and smooth
now scratched and skips
disingenuous words
moments of silence revisited
i always wondered why you looked away when we
made love

hot breath
on necks
finger tips
digging into
hips
eyes at my waist
side
skin shivering
tongue
incantations
slipping under your spell

endless kisses, and vinyl, and tea
how i wish you still loved my anatomy

School girl shoes click click click
sidewalk symphony
serendipitous solace
suspicious sadness
solitude solves cerebral sickness

390 days of self talk isn't ****
when you have no self control
the way your hip bones stuck out still haunts me
i'm sorry things weren't perfect
the way they should've been
easter sunday was religious thanks to your
your hand on my waist for hours
"Adults can grow apart too."
We were barely adults.
infiltrating my dreams is not welcome
i wish you'd fully disappear instead of just physically
we'll be fine one day
but now we just have to live on
i hope you're happy

I dress and hold you
like a child
your pheromones intoxicating me
coughs
snores
gentle moans that require attention
bed shifting
the texture of the sheets subbing together
this is our symphony
I'm drunk off the scent of your hair and skin
artists created Gods in your image
shadows highlight your emaciation
static.
vibrato from sing-alongs
red wine and irish whiskey are bringing us together
and tearing us apart
we are both pilgrims
and
we are both savages
grabbing at my shirt like a little baby who needs his mommy
we sing to your body so
ceremoniously
nuzzling, rolling, blushing, adjusting
our souls require choas
clumsiness excused

I want to drown in an ocean of every long embrace and kiss we've shared

And dry myself in that look in your eyes that makes me melt

If I need
To beg and plead
Act sad
And
Feel bad
About myself
To receive my love back
Keep it.
I don't ******* want it then.

we are two trees

lilts of speech
and
soft tapping tendrils played on
stringéd instruments
that is our water supply

intense lashéd eye contact
wrapping our long legs and aching arms around
each other's anatomy
that is our sunshine

heavy, breathy sighs
and long, slithering love-making
that is our photosynthesis

grow with me

I could write an entire encyclopedia of my love for you and you still wouldn't care.

It's self-explanatory

walk with me
talk with me
hold me
adore me
get lost with me
make my skin melt
I want our bones to touch

i get so ****** because every one of my favorite artists
has basically
described how i want you
how i feel about you
the way i dream about you
i sleep next to a giant pillow because i miss your anatomy
jesus ******* christ
your space is so sacred
how did i get so lucky
if you do decide to come back i'll be okay
please please please
i ain't too proud to  beg

Did you know I love you?
God ******* ******
everyone takes that phrase so seriously
it just means i wanna be held be held by you
why are you so remarkable?
I want to know every cheat code to your body
desires, wants, hopes, lusts
you are ******* delicious
i didn't and can't eat
because i want to ingest you
i want to feel your anatomy writhing around my stomach lining
singing familiar lyrics
gently stroking my insides
i go crazy
if i can't taste your lips and hips

roots buried deep
that tangled around flesh
you are buried so deep
the pride in your roots makes me so happy

don't give me a reason
don't pretend you weren't around
you can't expect me to love you
when you don't give a blatant ****

I want to shower you in flowers and stars and endless love

I want to write your name on every solid surface I find so everyone can marvel at it's spelling

on our backs
barely touching anywhere except finger tips
smiling behind my eyes
my hair gets darker to match the grey sky
the branches and pinecones above us are black roses in full bloom
I thought they were getting closer to us
You said we were getting closer to them
And to each other
getting lost with you
I have no desire to be found anytime soon

my heart hurts
i don't mean to be this way
i push and push and push and push
and then i wonder why you leave
please ******* don't go
you have to understand that i can't control my actions
years and years of berating love have made me hard
when i begin to get soft
it scares the hell out of me.
it scares the living hell out of me.
just please don't go.
we've barely spent any time together and i'm
yours.
I am
only yours.

you are my oak tree, the rock at the base of the oak tree and the river the flows beneath it
your generous shade keeps me cool when the sun berates me
you are thirsty but you ask for no water
instead you offer me hydration
you grow tall, but i see you beginning to wilt due to my negligence
let me help you stay alive, you have to tell me

My mentor was your friend
He spoke so animatedly of your passion and humor
You were the single light bulb in a closet of clutter
I wish I could've experienced your soul
I was told you were bright and kind like the morning sun
No one knew the dark cloud behind your golden rays
You were my father, though you never knew it
Showing me that father figures always had my best interest
Your shadow hasn't left us
We miss your smile, genuine or not
It hurts me knowing that I'll never get to make you smile back.

my heart has turned to burlap
knotting itself up so it won’t remain open
so it can’t let you soften me up like purple wax in the sun
no more
you’ve spread your love so thin that i can see through it
blatantly watching you singing the same lullaby with your heart-shaped eyes to everyone
and i still want you

momentum and fragility builds in my legs and hands
my toes curl and empty air beneath them begins to buzz
an electrical current that is blue and gold begins to
make love
and sends bolts up my vertabrae stopping at my
knees that are knobby and bruised
heart that is tired of being bitter
brain that is foggy from sleepless nights and false realities
the neurological star scape that erupts inside my head in that moments wipes away every doubt i have
for five minutes, i won’t care

There’s a void inside my chest
It’s vast and deep and penetrating
My shoulders sink
Gentle embraces and long kisses
fill it up
But in the end
The creator was you