They can't tell what's wrong with you from the outside. They can't tell what's wrong with you from the outside. They can't tell what's wrong with you.*

Is my illness truly  invisible?
Or am I just deluding myself again?
My thoughts are racing, falling, tumbling,
maybe their right to call me insane.

Don't ask me to speak because I don't want to;
words don't mean a thing any more
Instead I write and write onto sheets of white
into the abyss my heart is poured.

I hear their screams in my head all the time
a pleading in my ear,
I'm the one who's living this hell
so why is it me you fear?

I carry on breathing everyday
despite the creatures living inside
and I will keep living in every way
until one day I don't even cry.

I miss the snow when the sun is out
I miss your touch when your not about

I miss the stars when city lights are too bright
I miss the city when the country is at night

I miss the leaves when they fall to the ground
I miss the silence when there's to much sound

Its hard to live life and be happy
when your never satisfied

Your worn out t shirt lies on my floor
It has that smell that I adore
My lipstick stains around its neck
Remind me of my worst regrets
Like how I let you walk out my life
Without putting up a decent fight
Watched you leave, closed my eyes and wept
Now I've just a shirt that I've kept
There's a traffic jam inside my head
Thinking of words I should have said
Now I cant forgive and I can't forget
And I'm living my life in deep, deep debt

A laptop light, a half eaten cereal bar, and a major suicidal tendency.

I haven’t left my room in three days.

The demons in my mind have escaped my body
and barricaded shut my doors and my heart.
I sit here staring at creatures that do not exist
crawling up my walls and laughing in the shadows.
The only sound is of sombre songs playing on
repeat, attempting to **** my sadness with tears,
and the scribbling and tearing and screaming of
pages as I scratch my soul onto them
covering my arms in blood and ink and tears
praying that eventually I will succeed,
and my pain will finally assent from my body
onto paper, and lay there eternally in long thin letters
that I can ****** into the void for all the other souls
begging for help at 3 in the morning to hear, and I will
finally be free, to sleep.

Up? Or down?

My body levitates between two worlds
As I stare at the blank blue that throws me
Off this earth.

In that moment I am nothing, and everything,
And as I am suspended in time my
Mind is suddenly aware.

Aware of the rustling white noise that
Lies within silence, which hides the many
Voices of the beyond.

I can hear them now, they’re getting louder
But I know you can’t, so you ask me if
I'm ok; of course I am.

I am aware of their unreality  but
Still, I am wary not to let them know
That *I know they are there.

So I return to the floating ocean
Above, or was it below, me and am
Once again, drifting.

I, am weightless
without body or mind,
free from the form
to which my soul binds.

Released from all worries
I am free to fly,
as I am pulled upwards
by a force in the sky.

So let me soar
let me be free,
and leave this earth
in one final leap.

I am everything, I am nothing
I am all in between,
an intangible believer
never to be seen.

Blink once, blink twice*
The grey it stirs,
as my vision, my mind
my memories blur.

Is it possible for emptiness to move?
Because I can feel it spreading
turning everything blue.

Crawling from my stomach, to my fingertips,
but those honest words
will never grace my lips.

I try to listen, that I'm still alive,
but it feels as though
all of me has died.

Now it seems hard, but maybe in time
I will finally get a grasp
on my wandering mind.

I am trying, dying, everyday
but if I stick around
I might just find my way.