you are not as strong as you once were.
your defenses are weakening, and the troops are retreating.
but you stay planted.
you will not move until this war has been won.

you ache with hunger.
your body caves as all missionaries desert and you find yourself the only one armed.
but you stay planted.
you will not move until this war has been won.

you cry at night.
your mind has gone crazy and the journalists have taken your heroic story from the headlines.
but you stay planted.
you will not move until this war has been won.

you will not move until I love my self.

love something out of the ordinary*, they say.

well, I did.

I loved you with your sticker covered trombone case, when I was the one that needed to be covered.

I loved you with your bracelets, when I was the one with scars to be hidden.

I loved you with your compassionate attitude and your body that could've passed for a star athlete (although, I suppose you are.)

I loved you.

You said things
like perfect timing
and stars aligning;
I imagined constellations
of every galaxy
in every universe
conversing, adjusting
to a position
where we would collide
and I tried
and defied
those stars as best I could
because I knew then,
as I know now
If the stars gave me you,
I would never
give you back
And if there is such a thing
as equal
and opposite
reactions
I plan to defy
the laws of physics

you used to be my light.
I wear sunglasses now.

They tell you to smile all the time
But then wonder why the hell you're smiling all the time, saying it makes you look suspicious

They tell you to tilt your head and you'll see things a little bit different
But then wonder what the hell is wrong with your neck

They tell you to speak your mind
But then wonder why the hell you're not shutting up

They tell you it's okay to be different
But then wonder why the hell a guy's wearing make up

They tell you to follow your dreams
But then wonder why the hell you're always sleeping

They tell you to stand up for what you believe in
But then wonder why the hell you refuse to sit down

They tell you all these goddammed double standards
But then wonder why the hell you don't listen

he claims to just be blatantly honest.
but he calls me lovely.
and compliments me.
and listens wholly.
and has extreme dysmorphia towards my weight.
and reads my poetry.
and compliments it.
and treats me as if I possess some sort of innate value.
and makes me feel secure.
---
was he lying about being honest?
or am I lying to myself about my value?

The human condition that we are all probably familiar by now is that
We tend to fall back on loneliness and darkness.
It is as if we would allow ourselves to accept love, care and concern from the people around us
But eventually we will be consumed by our very own sadness.
We create a shell that filters the care we choose, but even then
We allow it to dissipate and we end up with nothing but despair.
We all struggle to escape from ourselves
Then we strive to escape from the people around us,
And the aftermath leaves us very much stranded and lost.

There is a fine line between love and hate

I walk that line with you

Hand in hand, looking into your glass eyes.

Eyes so blue...eyes so cold

Hands that are warm but not kind

A heart much too cruel

A mind blinded by a false truth...

A soul..your soul...is left to wander in anguish.

Along its way, it scatters the foolish to a sunder.

No sound of desperate despair from their quavering lips..

But tear drops never the less.

I want you
to be
the only
one
I’ll
ever
fall in love with.
The only one
to know
my
latitudes
and longitudes.
To memorize
my degrees
and geographies.
To
bask near
my
equator.
To
mark
courses
and
journeys
across
my skin
like ships
with sails
made of
your hopes – my love – our dreams.
I want you to
be my North star.
My guiding
force
to see me
safely to
your shores.
I want you
to never
let go.
Like the moon
as the
sun rises
in the
East.
I want
to be
your
Compass Rose.
To be there
when
you loose
direction.
To be
your
anchor.
Your
starting point.
To be something
beautiful
when
the world
has gone
dark and ugly.
Because
you are
all
that
matters.
You are my
Earth.
My map of my world.
The sun I revolve around.
My moon and the stars my fingers trace in the night sky.
The one I love.
And will always love.

when i see you
i am transported to a summer carnival.
and you are the ferris wheel.
you lift me up and take me to new heights.
but you drop me eventually.
you always drop me.
but maybe the drop is worth it because
I get to be lifted by you.