There is no huge brain inside of my dome, it was replaced with a slow metronome. It doesn't stop moving, just ticking and talking at night I'm out stalking the streets as my mood swings and sways to the beat in my head. Mania? Yeah, the opposite of dead but in depression I'm just hanging to life by a thread. Swinging back and forth with significant force like a ballpeen hammer, hard enough to **** a horse. Like a blunt force trauma bringing nothing but drama, so I tire of the fire and I suffer but whatever but the flames be growin' higher and it's an oil fire so don't be throwing water or it'll just get hotter and roar louder so dowse me with the baking powder, better yet, a better powder, ya got good coke? Can I get some of that snow chucked into my head sometimes the numbness is better than dead. To quote the great Tom Waits "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy." I'd say I agree. Though at the end of the day it's not up to me.

Be what you would seem to be-
or, if you'd like it put more simply-
never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than
what it might appear to others that what you
were or might have been was not
otherwise than what you had been,
would have appeared to them
to be otherwise.

Oh wondrous days of youth's sweet grace,  
When laughter danced across my face.  
Each simple joy, a treasure rare,  
In whispered winds, mystery was there.  

The world was bright, a canvas wide,  
With beauty found on every side.  
In every leaf and starry night,  
That wonder still lives, to my delight.  

So let me grasp those moments dear,  
For in my soul, they still appear.  
With open arms, I will create,
The wonder things had when I was just eight.

Putting pen to paper, in a feverish attempt to catch the fish swimming around in his head. His keys are never far from the desk by his bed.

NOTICE: Do not pick up hitch hikers. Detention facility in area.

Burnt feet across sun heated rocks. No sandals to be found...his face contorts in pain. Could the past, present, and future all take place at the same time?!! We have been here before. Together we have passed under this bridge before. Lately you've been showing a nasty habit for weird lateral thinking...keep a sharp eye and ear. Don't let panic cause irrational behavior, take things in stride accept your fear. It's really not a bad thing unless it gets out of the fence. Running amuck, making things all tense. Bravery is being afraid, but doing what you need to do anyway... there's going to be fear. You don't need to worry about it. You're not in control. He is. ☝️✝️

In moments of quiet, pen becomes my guide,  
With ink I trace the thoughts that softly flow,  
Each line a truth that I can now confide,  
In written form, my inner voice can grow.  

The page, a canvas where my heart takes flight,  
In verse I find a language known and dear,  
A structure formed, to shape my dreams in light,  
An accepted frame that draws my vision clear.  

To weave my stories in a rhythmic dance,  
Is freedom found within the written word,  
In every sentence, there's a second chance,  
To paint my soul where only silence was heard.  

So let me write, for here I truly stand,  
With every phrase, carved by my own hand.
In desperate hope that some others understand, that the importance of words is surprisingly grand.

I get so depressed at times I feel like I can't take it, and I'm going to just ***** up my life. And then have to pick it all up, and eat it again.