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Sep 2020 · 36
an x I e t y
jorn christopher Sep 2020
i can barely breathe                                        
-b r e a t h-                                                                                        
chasing down every breath that i take
      but i'm gonna fake it    and  
shake every hand  
     every one      i   cant   stand    
        as i'm standing here            
        gasping for              
     air              
-b r e a t h-                                                                                      
swallowed the pills
         with intention to killoff
the part of my   self  
   thats been            
       t r  y i  n  g   t   o  ****  m  e            

-b r e a t h-                                                                                        
        but it survived and now          
                     e v   er   y      night        
              w  i  d  e    awake  
           try to fake
          what it feels like
        t o     d  i   e
   just   to   make   sure   im  
         a    l    i    v    e                      
-b r e a t h-                                                                                        
now that I can breathe        
questioning every breath that i take        
        am I gonna make it?   and    
shake every hand
     every one      i   cant   stand
        as i'm standing here
     g asping   for        
air                      
-b r e a t h-                                                                                        
swallowed the pills
                  for the mentally ill          
but not paying the   bill          
    that's a b n o r m a l they tell   m e
                                                          t o
                    not feel the shame when
       there's no one to blame          
just a way to be different that makes me the same  
just know  
after the tone  
     when they      
          c a l l    
m e
     b y    
   n   a   m   e        
-b r e a t h-                                                                                        

i can barely breathe                                        
br-                                    
-th
                              
chasing down    
every breath
cuz i know
that they      
know              
thatimfakingit                
shakingtheirhands                    
howcouldthey                                    
u  n  d  e  r  s  t  a  n  d   ?                                      
whatidontunderstandasimstandinghere
gasping
for
air

i can barely breathe
under a panic attack while driving when a song to sing is born from honest words
Mar 2018 · 285
a reason to leave
jorn christopher Mar 2018
lies
the kind I recognize
no different from the truth
with nothing left to prove
'cause I've been searching around
for something that just can't be found

was it me all along?
was that where I went wrong?
just needed something to live for
someone to love
someone to tell me
there's something above

im sick of having the answers
tired of thinking I'm right
I just want something to rely on
and a reason to fight

just a reason to believe
that I don't have a reason to leave
I want to stay.
Mar 2018 · 369
summary of love
jorn christopher Mar 2018
.
..
...
where are the words i want to say?
just like you and i they're changing everyday
its hard to capture in a phrase
every time i try it seems to slip away

a pieced-together sentiment so unrefined
effortless distraction from what's left behind

through requiems and lullabies
first hello's and hard goodbyes
can I say "i love you"
any more than it implies?

if not then let the silence summarize
...
..
.
some things are better left unsaid
Mar 2018 · 1000
Not the Rhythm
jorn christopher Mar 2018
She sings

We feel all sorts of things

Don't feel

Just to hear it's so surreal

     And I know it's not the rhythm

     Just to hear it's so sublime

     And I know it's not the rhythm

     No, not this time.

Say what you mean

Don't become the in-between

With or without

You know it's nothing to think about

     And I know it's not the rhythm

     Just to hear it's so sublime

     And I know it's not the rhythm

     No, not this time.

Stop to breathe

Don't wake up from chasing dreams

Seek the truth

In what will always be there in you

     You know it's not the rhythm

     Just to hear it's so sublime

     But you know it's not the rhythm

     No, not this time

And I know it's not the rhythm

But, to hear it's so sublime

Even though it's not the rhythm

One last time.
Listen to your heartbeat, pulsing like the countdown to oblivion.
Feb 2018 · 229
Factory
jorn christopher Feb 2018
Revolution institution
Gather up the calvary
Empty glasses for the masses
Raised in unity

From the fires, cue the choirs
Sing a hymn of suffering
Generation desperation
As the angels sing

Don't you know?
You can't let go
Cause it's so hard to say goodbye
To what we dim the lights for
Killing truth with lies we die for

Programming emotion
Manufacturing our lives
We are the products of
An over-processed love
That is chemically defined

Cheaper, faster
Blood and plaster
Heart-pumping machinery
Gears and veins
Rewired brains with
Television dreams

Burning engines
Fueled by tensions
Apprehension industry
Mutilation of salvation
As the angels scream

Don't you know?
You can't let go
Cause it's so hard to say goodbye
To what we dim the lights for
Killing truth with lies we die for

Programming emotion
Manufacturing our lives
We are the products of
An over-processed love
That is chemically defined
Self vs. Nature vs. Nurture: Eternal conflict of the thoughtless mind. Mass produced, quantifiable identities that wage war against themselves. All sales are final.
Jan 2018 · 603
Bomb's Away
jorn christopher Jan 2018
The city sleeps in the dead of night.
The stars reveal a falling light.
The angels are sleeping at the top of the hill.
If the flash doesn't wake them then the sound
Surely will.

We rose from our beds with sleep in our eyes
And clouds overhead now blanket the skies.
The buildings and monuments are crashing to the ground
Ashes to ashes
We all fall down.

There's a nuclear reaction
to the judgement day display.
And the screaming sound ascending
to the tune of "Bomb's Away!"
Hand in hand, we'll burn alive
Like the way we feel inside.
You hold me close
and close your eyes
'Til particles of you and I collide.


We collide singing, "Bomb's Away."


Souls set free as fates are bound.
Lives once lost, in love, now found.
The city turns to ashes with these passions now full blown.
Come together, for the first time
It's the last time
That we'll ever be alone.

There's a nuclear reaction
to the judgement day display.
And the screaming sound ascending
to the tune of "Bomb's Away!"
Hand in hand, we'll burn alive
Like the way we feel inside.
You hold me close
and close your eyes
'Til particles of you and I collide.


We collide, singing:

"Bomb's Away."
Falling in love can be devastating.

— The End —