If you are willing to be with me be prepared to deal with my insecurities and bring stick and stones to destroy brick by brick the wall I've been building around for all these years. It will take time and it won't be easy, but I promise I'll put all the effort in me to help you inside.
I'll try to put behind the past and give you my trust, but you gotta understand that after seeing only for me for so long it will be hard to start thinking of WE instead of I.
There will be times when you will want to run..
     ..please don't.
Other times I'm gonna get scared..
     ..don't let me escape.
I can assure you everything will be worth it, because once you get thorugh that thick layer you're going to met me. The real me.
The girl that was hidden under anger, sadness and fear; and that girl has the biggest heart in the world, it's not new, it was mistreated and has some dust.
But once you shake the dust and stop paying attention to the big old scar on the side, you'll realize it still works and it will give you more love than anyone thinks possible.
So if you try your best to get inside I will try my best to open the door.

Is it wrong that I think I'm not the worst?
That I'm not so bad.
I'm I overrating myself?
I'm I really so hard to love?
Because I've seen bad and I've seen mean
and I can't believe that they are better than me.

Aren't you scared?
That right now you are looking at your future
right from the edge.

Open the bottles of wine,
bring some tequila shots,
cheers for the end
and hold on to the moments we have left.

We are toghether now
so let's celebrate,
let's get drunk 'cause we are clueless
of our days ahead.

Let's talk about the good old times
that seem so far behind
forget all the worries just for a while,
the rest of our life is about to start.

Hour 20:
The white walls soffocating me,
I'm a walking zombie
and a hero wannabe.

The background sounds
beep, beep, beep
and I just wanna sleep.

I have a worried mother
whose child has fever,
and a not-so-hurt drunk driver
that tonight became a killer.

A 40 year old that's been coughing a few days
and thought of coming to the ER at 4am
because, hey, they are probably not so busy anyways.

I like my job,
and I love saving lives,
but God knows I have to put in order mine.

A heart has stopped in bed number nine,
chest compressions and meds don't make it beat,
I don't want to, but I gotta call it.

A teenager needs stitches,
she's making a mess,
apparently her scar is more important than anyone else.

A few more hours and I can go home,
time is passing slowly.
*Hey, look! There is the sun!

I would never play
I can't believe the nerve of you
to let that lie away.
After I begged at you to go
if your feelings weren't true,
Please don't hurt me,
I'm being honest here,
if you don't love me
I'm asking you to leave.
But you insisted
and I gave in,
you got what you wanted
and changed in a bit.
I'm sorry, I think we should stop
you were right and I was wrong,
but don't worry, you are cool
I bet you'll find a good guy soon
After chasing me for months
suddenly, you didn't love me *that much.
So naive of me to fall in love with you.

"Do you smoke?" you asked
as you let a gray cloud drift away from your mouth.
"No" I said quetly, ashamed that you might think I wasn't cool.
I avoided giving you that speech about dying soon.
You stayed quiet and inhaled from that toxic stick one last time
and pressed your lips gently onto mine.
I tasted the Marlboro's on your tongue
and became addicted to smoking from your kiss.

The worst kind of jelousy is the one you have to keep.
Swallow all the anger, like a poison burning in.
Here's a tip:
To keep the tears from falling down inhale very deep and many times.
With my hands so hard in a fist that my own nails are hurting me,
and knowing I can't let it all out because you are not mine.
The hardest part is that everytime you are with her
I have to fake a smile and say "I'm fine".

Lately, nostlagia has been invading the air,
everybody is trying to make their "lasts anythings" special
and I'm wishing you were all here to share it.
I spend nights looking at the sky to see if there's a sign of you up there,
asking hoplesly on shooting stars that I can see you again.
God knows you left me too soon.
I just hope, in spite all my mistakes, that I've made you proud too.

Either this is the beginning of my journey with you to heaven
or I'm about to be dragged through the mud
wishing I had never fallen for the spell or your eyes
or the deep sound of your voice.

Have you ever wondered how a bullet does its damage?
How something so small can be so threatening?
The way it enters the body is not the same way it exits.
The entrance is small, insignificant even,
but then it burns everything inside and comes out leaving a big hole.
Just like you.
Straight in,
giving me no time to duck or hide,
making a mess inside
and leaving what will become a scar on your way out.
And that's just in case I make it out alive.

If loving you is a sin,
let the gates of hell open wide for me,
for the only heaven I want to know
is between your arms.

Million miles away,
in another life,
maybe we'll find at the exact point where planets align
and the clocks around will stop
because this time we would've recognized each other as one.

May no monster disturb your sleep
and your night be filled with
battles with dragons and trips in submarines.
That tonight you become a knight, a super hero, a pilot and a rockstar.
That each night carries a different adventure,
that you feel invinsible and wake up with the urge to become
everything you've been in your wildest dreams.

Who am I?
I'm a dreamer. I'm hopeful. I'm a bag of bones interconected with emotions, through my veins runs as much excitement as blood.

I am messy hair, small eyes and steady hands and my hair is as wild as me, and my small eyes catch all the  beauty hidden in the corners, and my steady hands become an earthquake when I'm about to be kissed.

I'm in my twenties. I'm a teenager in matters of love and I'm a grandma when taking care of my friends. I'm a beast when it comes to fighting and I'm the weakest when it comes to crying. I feel too much and show too little.

I'm a daughter, a sister and a friend. I'm worried. I'm anxious. I'm happy. I'm a rave as much as I'm a book and coffee. I talk until my voice fades but my mouth is a tomb for secrets.

I'm a writer and a reader. I'm a dancing machine and a shower singer.

I'm raising an eyebrow when I don't believe you. I'm a random kiss on the shoulder when I love you. I'm cafuné when I care for you.

I'm optimistic. I'm cautious. I'm becoming what I always wanted to be. I'm strongheaded and lighthearted. I'm in constant wait for the world to show me this is not it and fairytale endings exist.

I wish I could go back in time, do it all over again,
to erase all the black spots the world has left on me;
so I could end up at this exact point looking at things differently,
with bright eyes, amazed by everything,
with the innocence of a child wondering what will happen next,
hopeful of the future and my days ahead.

In the darkest hours,
I'll find a light.

In the most intrincated labyrinth,
I'll find a way.

After the largest of storms,
sun shall shine.

All bad things come to an end
and the path must be hard
to appreciate the reward.

I'll lose no hope,
I won't ever give up.
I'll put the best of me everyday
and I'll make my life worth living,
for happiness is the road
and not the destiny.

You are my 11:11, my shooting star,
my sunny day after the storm.
My favorite song when I'm stuck in traffic, catching all the green lights.
You are staying in bed and realizing class got canceled anyway.
You are a rave and not waking up hungover.
You are hotcakes for breakfast on a Monday, you are a cold beer during summer.
You are every glimpse of good while reality passes by.

With time your face has been slowly fading from my memory
and if I shut my eyes and try to focus
I can barely trace the curve of your smile anymore.
But how I wish to remember you
and instead forget how you made me feel;
even with your physicall self so long gone
the rough feel of you beard while you kissed my neck is still here;
and I can't describe your lips anymore,
but I have the scent of your smokey breath
and the taste of your wet tongue,
like it was yesterday and not an eternity ago.