What is behind the golden gate?
Is it fluffy clouds
and nothing has hate?
Will my body stay six feet under?
Or is there a new land
without rain or thunder?
Will the darkness disappear?
Will the light of God
wash over me as deceased friends reappear?
Some say to live would be an awfully big adventure,
But when I pass, I can't wait to explore where I venture

The noises in the back
Make it hard for me not to smack
That buzzing fly I can't seem to ****.
All the other students do is make the teacher ill.
English used to be my favorite class
But now I dread it due to your sass.
No, it isn't funny when you shout ****** things
So here I am giving you some tellings
You don't have a purpose
No, you idiot, you are worthless.

It's the first time
In a long time
That I've even felt wanted
he made promises he couldn't keep
but your promises are written in stone
he never called me beautiful
but I'm told daily by you
I used to thank God for him
But my prayers are about you now
And it's never felt so good to pray

You smelt musky like a mystery
and had a cloud of gray swallowing you
from the cigarette swallowing your lungs.
If that smell floated off of anyone else,
I would've been repulsed by the cancer stick.
You didn't notice my eyes' constant gaze
of the crevices of your pale face.
I thank God I got out with your Facebook page,
I don't know what I would do if I couldn't contact you.
I would probably feel like I do now that you're gone.
I feel hungry for attention
And crave that scent that lingers in my nose.

My chest aches
My heart sinks
My body tenses

There is a hole in my stomach
and I wish I could dry my eyes
but all I see is what they refuse to hid

everyone is happy
with a lover or friends
and I'm in drowning in emptiness

Why the **** isn't anyone offering me a hand?