Bathed in light so dark
I can see his eyes, conflict
Tears a boy apart

not now, don’t leave a trace
cursed tears running down my face
i hate it so much, to start to cry
wish i could figure out why
cleanse my eyes and reset my brain
let my thoughts run down the drain
find memories of me in my backyard
when life didn’t seem hard
anything but here right now
pray to disappear somehow
hiding, breathing, peer through my hair
try and find a bathroom somewhere

Stickers and wires riddle your chest
Complicatedly tethering you to your room,
Where you watch the morning news in socks,
Pairs of socks and blankets
That can’t stop the coldness of the tile
From slipping through your skin,
Goosebumps, the cold grabs hold of your leg
And pulls it out from under you.
Cold, when the needle enters your skin,
Even colder, waiting for someone,
Clean sheets but not like home
Fresh pressed and sanitized,
Tube up your nose, down your throat,
A get well soon card watches.

sleeping soundly, but still dreaming
our paths meet across the room
lights guide shaky hands, almost seeming
to bring me to your skin, something in bloom,
so sweet, but couldn't stop the sun's rising glow
you're perfect, yet i won't assume,
to adore you, i can dream, but never know
when i wake up can we resume?

butterflies head north
flutter up your throat, your eyes
see him different

How deep were we in?
Restrained by chains that burn our skin
Car headlights, a hush falls over
Shines through the window, time feels slower
I hope he knows that we care
He grabbed him, dragged him by his hair
Cry, scream, or maybe not
Could have done anything, but we couldn't make him stop

I hate you, weak in the way that you
Smile at the world, then crawl through
Love to plant poison in its heart.
So weak, what happened to you?
And do you cry out at night alone,
Empty and decaying in the grave you dug?
You make me sick, and I hope so.
But at least I am not you.