You were my knight fighting off my darkness, allowing my light to shine. I was in awe about how you gifted me with happiness, when I myself could never create my own happiness. You broke me down and exposed the only will I had to be alive. Being my knight was only a facade to the antihero you truly were. You left me unprotected and alone, darkness has completely taken over, returning stronger and shattering my will to live.

sometimes when i sit in my room
drowning in a river of tears
that fall for so many reasons that
i cannot think of just one
i wish you would come in
i wish you would knock on my door
and ask me if i’m okay
because then i could let it all out
i could lean my head on your shoulder
and soak it completely while you
rub my back and let me cry
no judgements
no questions
you would just sit there and hold me
and tell me everything will work out
somehow
something as simple as this can
make me feel a whole lot better
because that is the kind of connection
you have with me
one that is simple
and one that is strong

People often ask me what love is  

And I seriously don't know what it means

All I can think about is you

Your eyes, those brown eyes

Those eyes which saw me naked  

You saw every scar on my body  

Yet the only thing you said was

“You are beautiful”  

Love, I am not beautiful

Scars, stretch marks, blood, wounds

Doesn't mean beautiful

I am not an art

Yet your lips kissed me

The way the sun kissed my skin every morning

Without a fail, without any doubt

You smiled.  

And the only words that came to my mind was

"****, this is trouble"

My love, your words hold me like a hostage

Trapped inside an empty box, finding a way out.  

A way I can never ever get a glimpse of.

I knew that this love

Our love would last a lifetime  

Or so I thought



We were torn apart by hatreds, insecurities, confusions

Maybe if it wasn't for distance  

We would be still together, we could have worked it out

But maybe, no matter what decisions we'll make

We will still come to an end

Confused about the future

Insecure about other people

Hating each other

You, giving up

And me, craving for more

Craving for something that can fill up the hole inside my chest



I wanted you to stay forever, here beside me

But every time I would ask about it

You always said

"You deserve so much more"

You were once my everything

My other half

My partner in crime  

You were someone so freaking important to me

You were the kind of mistake, I wouldn't mind repeating

I fell so hard for you

And guess what happened?

Love, I am broken



How many days, months, years

For me, to forget

That once upon a time

You were here

I was there

Hands holding tighter

Eyes locked to each other

Hearts that beat in a synchronizing manner  



How much would it cost?

For the pain to stop

For the memories to abandon

For the feelings to fade

My love, I did not expect any of this

I didn't know that love can be deadly

A love that can force someone to commit suicide  

That loving someone means tearing every part of yourself





Now, do you think I'm suicidal?

Love, do not be afraid

I'm not going to die

Being suicidal doesn’t mean killing yourself

Suicidal means I wouldn't mind dying

I kept on dying anyway

I kept on dying at the same place I thought was giving life to me  

Because the day, you decided to give up on me

I already gave up on myself.

maybe it's because i am not satisfied with who i am
maybe it's because i've fallen so from where i use to be
maybe it's because i let myself fall in love
maybe it's because i learned friendship, and trust, and hope and
with learning all these things, there was a consequence
a consequence that wasn't mine to serve
it's because after knowing what these concepts were,
it was impossible but to not notice their absence
i am not sad because of my unresolved trauma, i am sad because my coping skills were people and people leave
and sadness is present
sadness does not pause for you
sadness does not let you prepare
sadness rips into your chest and makes its home there
i'm sad because i'm not my own reason to live
i'm sad because i want to stay sad
because it's safe
because it's the only constant in my life

Her distinct voice
Her soft skin
Her pretty eyes
She’s a Woman
She never ceases to surprise

She looks in the mirror
Men marvel at her buxom beauty
But for some reason
Those catcalls were getting to her
She didn’t want to be just a hottie

Her red lips
Her exposed legs
Her protruding hips
Her ***** *******
Is what made her body picturesque

She professed, she knew she was cute
When men looked, she took it as a tribute
But it was getting old
She wanted to be liked for who she was
Instead of fantasizing what she looked like unclothed.

She was smart
She was driven
She had ambition
She’s a woman
She is beautiful.

Words are like sharks’ teeth—
rows upon rows of them
sitting like pews in an empty cathedral—
the light playing through the stained-glass windows of the gill slits—
glinting through the busy, flitting motes
of plankton dust.

Words are like sharks’ teeth—
endlessly guarded,
but easily discarded,
flipping like coins in an Italian fountain—
sinking into the cerulean abyss
of the Adriatic Sea.

Words are like sharks’ teeth—
a fatal phalanx
oft dismembered,
seldom remembered
except as but an evolutionary assemblage—
a prehistoric assembly line.

O, but
words are like sharks’ teeth!

The edge takes,
the point drives home—
the carnal hunger of the gums
resonates throughout the jaw,
compelling the incisors
to test their power
against the defenseless tautness
of the prey’s flesh.

The eyes roll back,
the neck jerks.
The water fills with a crimson miasma—
a hemoglobin ecstasy—

a feeling of God
flowing through the machine.

Words are like sharks’ teeth.