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briannah rae Oct 2017
my bed
feels so empty
and i wish
you would stand
outside of my house
and throw pebbles
at my bedroom window
and quietly
sneak it
and lay with me
till i fall asleep.
but i know
that even
if you did,
you would be gone
by morning,
not a trace
of you
except for
the faint smell
of your cologne
lingering on my
dark gray pillowcase,
and i'd sit there
with my knees
pulled to my chest,
inhaling your scent
slowly being
washed away
by my saltwater tears.
you'll always hurt me
an i'll always love you.
briannah rae May 2018
you are like a pool
on a hot summer day.
so refreshing
and exciting.
but there is always
that small part of me
that is scared of drowning.
and although you seem all good,
i've come so close to drowning
so many times,
and i'm scared
that one day
i will dive in
and i won't come back up.
i'm back
briannah rae Sep 2017
if you
are just going to
take my words
and twist them
to turn
my own sister
against me
then don't
talk to me
at
all.
briannah rae Sep 2017
the leaves
will now
begin to fall
and so will
my hope
that we
will be
together.
briannah rae Apr 2017
my thoughts: wildflowers.
i have a whole garden,
bright
and colorful,
dedicated to YOU,
and everyday,
more
and more
flowers grow
until
every
waking
moment
was spent
thinking of YOU.
i wanted
YOU
to know.
i wanted YOU
to feel the same
emotions
as me.
so i finally
worked up
the courage
to hand YOU
a bouquet
of those
wildflowers,
the stems
tied together
with
a ribbon.
i waited
with a nervous smile
and watched
as YOU
set the flowers aside
to
die.
YOU didn’t even
bother
to water
them.
now
i keep
my garden
guarded
with a
picket
fence,
and YOU
missed YOUR chance
to stop
and smell
the roses
so don’t
even try
coming back
because
i won’t let
YOU
in.
briannah rae Sep 2017
there is
a box
where i keep
my feelings.
there is
a lock
that keeps
the box
shut
and a key
that i wear
on a chain
around my neck.
that box
will stay
locked tight
because my feelings
don't get me anywhere
but hell.
i'm so tired
of giving
my all
only to lose
a piece of myself
in the process.
i don't want to
lose anything else.
i don't have
anything else
to lose.
i have already
lost myself.
briannah rae Sep 2017
sometimes i want
the water
to burn my skin
so i can feel
a different pain
than the pain within.
i am not suicidal
nor am i
severely depressed
but sometimes it's hard
to hope for the best
when all that you feel
is the pain
in your chest.
so that jolt of pain
that brushes my skin
can help distract me
from the pain within.
briannah rae May 2017
the words slipped
out of his mouth
like a smooth ribbon
of silk
and i wanted
to tie them around
my neck
like a choker necklace
and wear them
for all to see.
i wanted
people to know
how he felt
about me
because i felt
beautiful
with his
choker necklace words
and i wanted
everybody
to see my beauty.
i wanted them
to touch my necklace
and ask where
i got it
and long to have one
just like it
but that necklace
is mine
and i will do everything
i can
to keep it for
myself.
briannah rae Jun 2018
I am a writer.
Stringing together eloquent words
To make beautiful sounding sentences:
That is supposed to be
My calling.
And yet ask me
To put into words
The effect you have
On my heart
And I'll tell you
I
Can
Not.
There is something
about your love
That is inexplicable.
Try as I must
I can't fathom
How I landed your heart.
And although I am a writer
My words simply
are not sufficient enough.
So I will leave you with
A collage of cliches
Because there seems to be
No other way:
I love you
to the moon
And back.
You are my sunshine.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Candy is sweet
And so are you.
briannah rae May 2017
i don't need
a compass
to tell me
which direction
is right.
i know that
on my own.
but you need to be
broken
in order to be
rebuilt.
briannah rae Apr 2017
darkness.
such an unfathomable concept.
what lingers in
the blackness remains
a mystery.
darkness.
scary,
yet beautiful.
it’s like
humans.
so many secrets
hiding in the
shadows,
insecurities
and anxiety
hidden from
view,
because out of sight
out of mind,
right?
wrong.
if somebody cares
enough,
all that’s needed
is a candle
to brighten,
all of those secrets,
now exposed,
to anybody
who just bothers
to look.
although darkness
seems like
an ever-expanding
mystery,
it’s easy
to figure out
if YOU just try.
darkness.
such an unfathomable concept,
and yet i think
i know it better
than anybody.
briannah rae May 2017
i crave to be craved.
i long to be kissed
and hugged
and loved.
i miss the feeling
of being a part
of a relationship.
i miss being
one half
of a greater whole.
i want to feel
somebody's arms
around my waist.
i want to feel
his lips against mine.
i want to feel
his eyes tracing
every inch
of my body.
i want
to be loved.
30 day poetry challenge.
Your current relationship. If single, discuss how single life is.
briannah rae Aug 2017
your smooth
hypnotic words
mesmerized me
i was drawn
to you
like a moth
to the light
i couldn't think
of parting with you
because i was
so incredibly
and hopelessly
in love with you
i had never felt
such a feeling
before
i just couldn't
let go
you told me
you loved me
and then
kissed me
so softly
i felt
my heart melt
you gave me
the love
i could never
give myself
i longed
to feel
your kiss on my lips
and your love
between my legs
and i wanted you
i wanted you
i wanted you
and then
your ugliness
came out
i cried for days
after you cheated
i stopped eating
i stopped laughing
i stopped being happy
i fell into depression
and didn't want anything
except for you
i wanted you
i wanted you
i wanted you
but you didn't want me
and my heart hurt
like you stabbed me
but i didn't care
i wanted you
i wanted you
i wanted you
31 Day Writing Challenge
Discuss your first love and first kiss
THIS WAS SO HARD FOR ME TO WRITE :( I hate heartbreak
briannah rae Sep 2017
it happens
best at night.
when crickets
chirp
and owls
hoot
and the stars
freckles
the dark sky's cheeks.
sleepy voices
beckoning sweet
i love you's
and sleep tight's.
those late night texts
that hold so much
truth
and so much
love.
laying in bed
and thinking about
you
and me
and all of the
wondrous possibilities.
those beautiful
dreams
that occur
when my head
touches the pillow.
bodies snuggled
together
under blankets
with heads
nestled perfectly
in the crook
of the shoulder.
whispered words
in the ear
of the dozing.
i love the night
and all that
happens.
31 Day Writing Challenge
Write about the night
briannah rae Sep 2017
change.
six letters
with two different
points of view.
change is good.
change is bad.
change is good
is bad
is good
is bad.
it's all a matter
of perception.
how you view things.
the way you look at life.
do you see
a door bolting shut
or another door creaking open?
do you embrace the new?
or do you shudder
at the alternative.
change can be good.
change can be bad.
change can be good
can be bad
can be good
can be bad.
31 Day Writing Challenge
Write about change
briannah rae Sep 2017
i wish
i could
be more
independent.
i wish
i didn't
need to rely
on others
to be complete.
i wish
i could
simply complete myself.
i wish
i didn't need
the love of another
to be whole.
but i do
and i can't
change that.
that is a part
of who i am.
i am a young girl
who gives away
so much love
to others
that she doesn't
have enough love
left over
for herself.
31 Day Writing Challenge
I wish I could...
briannah rae Sep 2017
touch me.
touch my heart.
touch my soul.
touch my body.
touch me
touch me
touch me.
fill me with your love.
fill me with your passion.
fill me with your.....
just give me your all.
give me the things that i have been craving.
and you know what i've been craving.
i don't need to whisper it seductively in your ear for you to know.
just quietly lead me to your bedroom and block the world out with your gray blanket.
our bodies are co-written poetry, the words blending together perfectly with just the right imagery and style.
i don't know why i want you so badly.
but i just can't help myself.
thinking about you makes my heart rate increase 1092 times.
nothing can satisfy my like your touch.
touch me.
touch my heart.
touch my soul.
touch my body.
touch me
touch me
touch me.
31 Day Writing Challenge
Something Beginning with T
briannah rae Sep 2017
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
i don't know where this is headed.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
i don't know if you love me as a friend.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
i don't know if you love me as more.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
i don't know anymore.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
are you leading me on only to drop me off the cliff?
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
so that i hit rock bottom and shatter my heart?
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
or do you love me?
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
do you feel anything for me?
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
even a little?
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
i love you so much it hurts.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
when i'm not with you my heart is hollow.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
empty.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
broken.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
but then i see your smiling handsome face.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
and my heart is literally filled.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
i feel so much so much so much
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
joy
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
peace
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
love
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
so please love me
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
i think maybe you do
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
and i think maybe if you don't
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
i'll cry myself to sleep
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
31 Day Writing Challenge
Love
briannah rae Sep 2017
confidence.
it's something
i have so little of.
there are days
when i walk
the halls
with the confidence
of a celebrity
in a music video.
and there are other days
when i wish
i was invisible
because i'm just too
ugly to be looked at.

confidence.
it's something
i wish i had
in great abundances.
but i don't.
and i probably won't
for a long while.
31 Day Writing Challenge
Confidence
briannah rae Sep 2017
dear friend.
thank you
for everything
you do.
thank you
for being
my shoulder
to cry on.
for being
the ear
that always listens.
i am hard
to get along with.
that i know.
i'm stubborn.
but you get me.
you understand me
like nobody does.
and this poem
isn't going
to have beautiful
flowing verses.
it's really raw
and rough.
but i know
you'll love it
anyways
because you
are my best friend.
you are such
an amazing person
inside
and out
and i have no
idea where
i would be
if it weren't for you.
i love you
so much.
thank you.
31 Day Writing Challenge
A friend
briannah rae Sep 2017
music on.
world off.
music on.
world off.
music on.
world off.
world off.
world off.
music helps me understand
my complicated jumble
of feelings.
music helps put
a name
to my emotions.
i feel
so many things.
but not only
does music
help with
my feelings,
it also helps
to block out
those feelings.
it is my escape
if only for
a little while.
music on.
world off.
music on.
world off.
music on.
world off.
world off.
world off.
31 Day Writing Challenge
Music
briannah rae Oct 2017
how
do i write
a poem
about what
i'm feeling when
i
don't
know.
i am numb
to the world
and everything
in it.
i don't feel
sad.
i am past that.
i've reached
the point
when sadness
isn't strong
enough.
i don't know
what to do anymore.
i don't know
how to live.
i don't know
how to feel.
31 Day Writing Challenge
Your Feelings
briannah rae May 2017
i am just a girl.
a girl who
is not perfect.
a girl who
trips
and falls
and makes mistake
after mistake.
a girl who
pushes herself
too hard
and hates herself
when she fails.
she does not see
the good,
rather the bad.
she tries
to please everybody
but she can't
please herself.
a girl who
has such strong
insecurities
and can't find good
in herself
but she can find good
in others.
i am just a girl.
a girl who
wishes
upon stars that
one day
things will be better for her.
a girl who
is slowly
losing hope.
31 Day Writing Challenge
About Me
(Sorry it's been long since I've written last. A lot's been going on.)
briannah rae Oct 2017
your warm hand
grips mine
as we walk down
this scenic route,
the tall oak trees
flaming with
leaves of orange fire
(they remind me
of my burning
love for you).
we dance on
the fiery streets,
my heart filling
with pumpkin spice love.
i inhale
the scent
of nutmeg
and your cologne
as you cup
my cheek
in your hand,
leaning down
to plant
a fiery kiss
on my lips.
who ever knew
that i would
fall for you?
31 Day Writing Challenge
Your Current Season
briannah rae May 2017
i lost you
to drugs
and alcohol.
you told me
you stopped.
you told me
you loved me more
then the rush
it gave you.
you lied.
you went
behind my back
and you smoked
and you drank.
you tried hiding it.
did you think
i was too naive
to notice
the smell of beer
on your breath
or the way your words
sloppily stirred together.
i told you
you had to choose.
you have to choose
between me
and that.
you didn't choose me.
i guess i just
don't give you
that feeling.
but it's ok.
i wouldn't choose
me either.
31 Day Poetry Challenge
Your Views on Drugs and Alcohol
briannah rae May 2017
there are worse things
than being alone.
Of course
there are worse things
than being alone.
but right now
it feels like
the only thing
that hurts.
it feels like
the lone rain cloud
pouring only over
me.
i don't have anybody
to hold an umbrella
for me.
i don't have anybody
to seek shelter in
from the storm outside.
it is so hard
to walk around life
with many people
who call themselves my friend
but aren't truly.
they would never
stand in the storm with me.
they would fend only for themselves.
i can't do this
alone anymore.
and i know
there are worse things
than being alone.
31 Day Writing Challenge
Write About Being Alone
briannah rae May 2017
i wonder how different
things would be
if i had worked up
the **** courage
to tell you
how i truly felt.
if only
i was more confident
in myself,
confident enough
to speak my mind.
i wanted to tell you.
i did.
but the words
got caught
somewhere in my throat
like a beautiful butterfly
in a spider web.
this wrenching fear
of rejection
burned down
the rose garden
and left the blooming buds
black
and charred
and smoking.
i should have said it.
i wonder how different
things would be
if i had worked up
the **** courage
to tell you
i love you.
31 Day Writing Challenge
Things You Never Got to Say
briannah rae May 2017
wilted roses
and torn photographs.
the signs
of heartbreak
that litter the floor
of my bedroom,
the same bedroom
where we once
lay together
under a warm pink blanket,
connecting
glow-in-the-dark stars
and dreaming about
our future
of shared apartments
and Mr. and Mrs. coffee mugs.
falling asleep
to the sounds
of ed sheeran
love songs
tangled
in each other's arms.
running hands
across skin
and whispering
"i love you"
with the smell
of wine on our breath.
31 Day Poetry Challenge
Something That Makes You Sad
briannah rae Jun 2017
my cheek
pressed against
the cold bathroom floor,
wet with
a combination
of my tears
and droplets
of wine
i stole
from the fridge.
lies from the devil
pounded against my skull,
threatening to shatter
it into a billion
tiny pieces
of regret
and despair
and shame.
i pressed
my love for you
between the pages
of my bible,
and i didn't even notice
when the petals
began to wilt.
the notes
of your symphony
began to intertwine
with hers
at the same time
your body
began to intertwine
with hers.
and when
the videos
and pictures
started flooding
in my inbox,
i couldn't breathe.
i fell to the floor
of my cold bathroom,
drowning my sorrows
in cheap wine
to forget the memories
that would haunt me forever.
i still feel
the fingers of the ghost
rake its fingers
through my hair,
and i still hear
the banshees
screaming in my ear
the words i don't want to hear.
31 Day Poetry Challenge
A Poem That Reminds You of a Certain Event
briannah rae Jun 2017
i went to
a store
that sold books
for very little money.
i browsed the aisles,
running my hands
across the spines
of the dusty books.
at the end
of an aisle
sat a book,
brightly colored
and eye catching.
i picked it up,
reading the title.
"this star
won't go out".
i had heard
of it before
but i never
would have thought
it would have such
an impact on my life.
this beautiful girl,
esther earl,
was diagnosed with
thyroid cancer
and died from it
when she was 16.
the book
was a collection
of her diary entries.
this beautiful dead girl
taught me more
than anybody
on this earth.
i learned
just how valuable
life truly is.
i learned
life is too short
to be unhappy.
there is always something
to smile about.
nothing,
whether it be
cancer,
depression,
anxiety,
heartbreak,
can decrease
the value
of a life.
31 Day Writing Challenge
Life
briannah rae Jul 2017
i slip my hand
into my purse,
pulling out my keychain.
the silver key
unlocks the door
to my cozy home.
the sound of laughter
and joy await me
from the inside.
my husband
greets me with
a loving kiss.
my children
wrap their arms
around my waist
and tell me
about their day
at school.
i make my way
to the kitchen
to start dinner.
cooking
is on of the things
that brings
me peace
an joy.
my home
is decorated
the way
i've always dreamed.
it's not much
but it's mine,
and i've worked
so hard for it.
it is my refuge.
the place
that brings me comfort,
joy,
love,
peace.
the place
where love
is filled
to the brims.
my eyes
open
and i am brought
back to the present.
i can only
dream
that one day
i will have a life
that is perfect
to me.
31 Day Poetry Challenge
How You Hope Your Future Will Be Like
briannah rae Oct 2017
i wish
i could say
this is
the last time
i write
about you,
but that
is not
true.
i could (falsely)
fill a whole
700 page notebook
with the words
"i'm over you
i'm over you
i'm over you"
but i know that
tomorrow
i will be
plucking the petals
off a flower
and catching my tears
in a jar
and the side
of my hand
will be stained
from the cursive letter
graphite words
of my love
for you.
just when i think
my thoughts
for you
are simply
platonic,
you make your way
over to me
and wrap
your arms
around me
and i find
myself
daydreaming
of mr
and mrs
coffee mugs
and breakfast
for dinner
and lazy saturdays
when we stay
in bed
until noon,
wrapped in blankets
and each others' arms.
i think
if you told me
you were
dropping
out of school
to travel
the world
i'd probably
pack my bags
and join you.
briannah rae May 2017
how easy was it
to walk away?
did you walk out
with your heavy heart
weighing you down
or did you run out
skipping?
why did you
have to go?
why did you think
the only option left
was to simply
pack you bags
and leave?
it hurts.
it hurts a lot
knowing
that you gave up on me.
gave up on us.
i don't think
i have cried
so many tears
in my sixteen years
of existence.
but if you came back
i would welcome you in
with open arms.
we can start new.
i can refill your heart
with the love
you lost when you
walked out.
but answer me
one thing:
how easy was it
to walk away
mom?
briannah rae Oct 2017
in the grand
scheme of things
i suppose
this gaping hole
you put
in my heart
isn't so bad
but right now
the pain is
excruciating.
every time
i breathe in
i am reminded
of those five
simple words
you whispered
(though it felt
more like screaming)
"i don't love you
anymore"
"i don't love you
anymore"
"i don't love you
anymore"
i have to
force my heart
to continue
its beating
because it's hard
to carry on
when i keep
coughing up blood
and clawing
at my eyes
so i can
somehow
erase the image
of you
kissing her
that is stained
on the insides
of my eyelids
and i have to
keep myself awake
because everytime
i close my eyes
i see
your ghost.
i don't want
my life
to be controlled
by you
and i don't want
to keep bleeding
for you
and i don't want
to keep loving you.
briannah rae Sep 2017
just stop.
don't take my hand
and lead me
into the dark
only to abandon me
and make me
fend for myself.
stay and carry
the flashlight.
tell me
you love me
and make the way.
it's hard enough
not knowing
how you actually feel.
it would be
a thousand times harder
to sit here thinking
i'm you're one and only
when i'm actually nothing.
communication is key.
so tell me how you feel.
tell me if this
is real
or if you don't
want to go on anymore.
i can handle that.
but please
don't take my hand
and lead me
into the dark
only to abandon me
and make me
fend for myself.
briannah rae Oct 2017
you gave me
an orange rose
(red ones
are too cliche)
and i pressed it
between the pages
of my bible
because i thought
it would also
preserve our love
but just like
the rose
it dried up
and turned brown
and crumbled
between my fingers
so i took
the flower dust
and locked it
in the jewelry box
you gave me
for our anniversary
but you
were already
too far gone.
i tried
tracing my finger
along the map,
trying to find you,
even just a glimpse.

i never did find you.

i found
the old jewelry box
you gave me
for our anniversary.
the one with
the crumbled
rose petals.
i opened it up
and watched
your ghost
dance around
my room.
"sorry i never called."
you told me.
"i'm dead."
briannah rae May 2017
what do you do
when your house
is not home?
when you walk
among your family
like a guest
in a hotel,
where the employees
give you
the cold shoulder
when you forget
to tip them
for their service.
their kindness
is simply a ploy,
a masquerade
so you'll come again
soon.
i don't want
to come again
soon.
i don't want
to come again
ever.
i want to fly away
to a house
that is a home,
to a place
where there is a family
who will love me,
and take me in,
and accept me.
i just want
to be home.
briannah rae Oct 2017
she stands
in the gas station bathroom,
looking at
her sunken eyes
in the smudged,
graffitied mirror,
wondering
how she got here
and how she can get out.
her shaking hands
grip the sink
as she stares
at the unrecognizable version
of herself,
the version of herself
she never saw coming.
she wants to run.
to get out
and never turn back
but her mind
holds her
in place,
gripping her
by the collar
of her shirt.
***.
alcohol.
her life
is consumed
by the things
she always told herself
she'd never get near.
but now
her life is
as cracked as
the gas station bathroom mirror
and there is no escape.
there is no turning back.
when she first
opened her legs
to him
she never realized
she would be
shutting the door
to her past life.
when she first
opened the bottle
she never realized
she would be
shutting the door
to her past life.
she never realized.
and now that
she understands
where she stands
she wishes
to be standing
somewhere else.
she wishes
she could build
a time machine
right there
in that gas station bathroom
to take her back
to life
as she once knew it.
"**** it,"
she whispers
to her reflection,
pulling a flask
out of her purse
and taking a swig.
there is no changing
the past
so she won't
bother
trying.
she wipes
the mascara
from under her eyes
and sticks
her middle fingers up,
showing life
she doesn't
give a ****
anymore.
it can't get any worse
than this.
she steps out
of the gas station bathroom,
bumping
chest to chest
with him.
he grins down
at her,
his green eyes
dancing with lust
and seduction.
she follows him
to his car,
the flask
swishing noisily
in her purse.
"it can't get any worse
than this,"
she thinks
to herself
a few weeks later,
crying on the floor
of the gas station bathroom,
staring at
the plus sign
on the dollar store
pregnancy test.
I'm not entirely sure where this poem came from, but I kind of like it. Sorry for the length lol
briannah rae Oct 2017
not every
poem i write
is for you.
not ever
tear i shed
is for you.
not every
heartbeat
is for you.
not ever
breath i breathe
is for you.

you are not
a part
of my life
anymore
and i think
you forget that
sometimes.
briannah rae Oct 2017
the darkness
is so overpowering
and i don't know
where it ends
so give me sun.
flowers cannot bloom
without rain
but they also
cannot bloom
without light
so give me sun.
my skin is pale
and cold as ice
so give me sun.
write on my lips
a reason to
carry on
because i am
empty
and frozen inside
so give me sun.
my heart
is turning dark
so give me sun.
briannah rae Oct 2017
music is honestly
such a beautiful thing.
i just wrote
about not being able
to feel anymore
and this song
came on
that was so
beautiful
and made me feel
so much at once
that the emotions
poured out
of my eyes.
i haven't felt
in so long
and god
is real
and i'm speechless.
briannah rae May 2017
i wanted to capture that moment in time
like a black and white moving polaroid,
complete with sounds
and smells
and feelings.
i wanted to hang it
on my bedroom wall
and revisit it whenever
i felt lonely
or sad.
i wanted to reach through
the photo paper
and jump back in
and relive the moment
where i was most happy.
but i can't do that.
you are gone.
you have been gone
for so long now
and nothing can take away
the longing in my heart.
you are gone.
briannah rae Apr 2017
YOU
told me
YOU
like me,
and i couldn’t
help
but wonder
why.
why
me?
what is it
about me
that could
land
YOUR
perfect,
loving
heart,
all wrapped up
in a bright pink
ribbon
at my
doorstep.
i do not deserve
YOU
or
YOUR
love.
i have
wanted
YOU
to be mine
for the
longest
time,
and now that
YOU
are mine
for the taking,
i know i can
not have
YOU.
i sent
YOUR
heart back,
the box unopened,
and cried myself
to sleep,
because i love
YOU
so much
and yet i let
YOU
go.
briannah rae Sep 2017
hard times bring out obstacles bring out
victories bring out failures bring out
character bring out experience.
life isn't easy. it's a big, tangled, crazy,
wild, overwhelming mess that can get
in the way of success of happiness of
movement of vision of optimism but
trust me when i say light at the end
of the tunnel isn't just a cliche
statement it is true is relateable is
real is tangible is attainable
if you just keep walking
down the road even if you trip
over the cracks and skin your knees
and tear up your clothes because when you
finally make it out you will feel the
strength of a thousand football players
in your heart and you will learn
things about yourself you didn't even
know existed and you will win.
briannah rae Apr 2017
and YOU watched

me as i looked

so small

standing

under

the twinkling night

sky

catching shooting

stars on my

toungue,

wishing

that this

night

would

go on

forever

like the endless diamond

sky

that YOU

kissed

me under,

the moonlight

casting a faint

glow

on YOUR breathtaking

face

as YOU

promised

to love me

forever,

the same

moonlight

illuminating

a trail of

tears

sliding

down my

cheeks

as YOU

break

that promise,

break

my heart.

YOU

told me

YOU

would give me

a star

to wear

on my left

finger,

and that

i had a

smile brighter

and more beautiful

than

saturn's rings,

and now i

watch

YOU walk away,

leaving me

alone

under

our moon.

YOU told me

i was YOUR

everything,

and now

i am

merely

another star

in YOUR

ever expanding

galaxy.
briannah rae May 2017
there are things
about me
people pretend
to know.
they pretend to know
the things
i love,
the things
that truly matter to me,
the things
i am passionate about.
but they fail
to know that
i am a dairy
with a heart-shaped lock,
impossible
to open
except for
a heart-shaped key
kept around my neck
on a delicate silver chain.
i have many things
kept deep inside me
for fear of
betrayal,
judgement,
exposure.
but maybe one day
i will give
a heart-shaped key
to somebody
who loves me
so that they may know
things about me.
the things
i love,
the things
that truly matter to me,
the things
i am passionate about.
but until then,
i am a diary
with a heart-shaped lock,
impossible
to open
except for
a heart-shaped key
kept around my neck
on a delicate silver chain.
briannah rae Sep 2017
"you look
like hell,"
he said,
the cigarette dangling
from his tanned fingers.
"you are hell,"
i whispered back,
my voice shaking
like the earthquake
that destroyed mexico.
the cigarette slipped
from his fingers
and fell to
the ground.
i quickly
crushed it with
the toe
of my boot,
looking up
at him
with challenging eyes.
"i gave you
everything,"
he growled,
his fists
clenched at his sides.
"you gave me
more bad
than good,"
i said,
and with that
received one of those
fists
at my nose.
i fell to
the floor,
blood pouring out
and gathering
in a puddle
by my face.
i lay there,
a motionless lump,
tears streaming
down my cheeks
as i am
kicked,
punched,
screamed at,
spat at.
there are chunks
of hair missing
from where he
ripped them
from my head.
bruises
and cuts
decorate my hole body
like a disturbed
christmas tree.
"apalogize
for what you said,"
he snarled,
his foot
dangerously close
to my
already bleeding face.
"i'm so sorry,"
i whispered,
the world a shade
of black
and white.
"i didn't
mean it."
he nodded
his head
slightly.
"tell me
you love me,"
he said,
an eyebrow
raised.
"i love you,"
i whimpered,
grabbing
his outstretched hand
and wincing
in pain
as he pulled me up.
"i love you too,"
he angled
my chin up
and pressed his lips
to mine,
then pulling away
suddenly and spitting
out some blood
from my mouth
with a chuckle.
he returned to kissing me.
didn't the bible say
the devil was
deceitful?
****THIS IS NOT BASED ON A TRUE STORY****
briannah rae May 2017
these hollow bones
don't feel the pain
your merciless hands
always seem to convey.
i see the scars
and welts
and bruises
but the stars
in my eyes
shine brighter
than the warning lights
flashing in the distance.
no matter
how many tears
i catch in this jar
it'll never open my eyes
to the love
that's drifted afar.
and every time
i feel your bittersweet kiss
i can't resist
because the way
you make me feel inside
is stronger than
the physical pain
hidden behind
these sunken eyes.
briannah rae Sep 2017
The girl steps onstage.
She picks up the microphone,
looking at the hundreds of people sitting
in front of her.


The music plays
softly in the background.
The young girl opens her mouth,
her heart.


She sends a message,
her words drifting sweetly through the auditorium,
to the hundreds of people sitting
in front of her.


The girl steps into school.
She looks around at the hundreds of people walking
in front of her.

She runs a hand
through her
dark, inky hair,
smoothing it out.


She remembers
checking her outfit,
her hair,
her smile.


Scared,
that she wasn’t good
enough,
pretty
enough
for the hundreds of people walking in front of her.


The girls steps into her room.
She is alone.
She doesn’t have to pretend
for the hundreds of people who were
in front of her.


The girl steps into her kitchen.
Her mother looks at her disapprovingly.
The young girl sighs,
aware of her mistakes.
The hundreds of expectations her mother has for her
are too much.
Is she a disappointment?


The girls stands in
the shadows of
her older sister.


Her beautiful,
talented,
older sister.


The girl tries
to step out of
the shadows,
but everytime,
she gets
engulfed again.


The girl steps outside,
gazing at the hundreds of stars spread
out in front of her.


She closes her eyes,
wishing for the hundredth time,
hoping
that this time,
her wish will come true.


The girl steps into school again.
She looks around at the hundreds of people walking
in front of her.


She stands with her hundreds of friends,
holding on tightly.
She is not ready to let go.
She will never be ready to let go.


The girl walks with her crush.
She gazes up at him
the way she gazes up at
the hundreds of stars.


She opens her journal
and flips to an empty page.
Her pencil bursts on the paper,
as she writes about
the hundreds of people,
hundreds of stars,
hundreds of friends,
one love.


The girls smiles for the hundredth time.
She knows the smile is fake,
but nobody else does.
She tries to stay happy,
because her friends happiness
is more important
than hers.


The girl is like a
balloon.
Once somebody lets go
of the string,
she drifts
farther and farther
until she is
gone.


She needs her hundreds of friends
to hold tightly to
her string,
so she doesn’t
float away.


The girls steps outside of the schools.
She waits
for her mother to come,
gripping a test
with 90% written
in red ink.


She smiles excitedly,
hoping her mother will be proud.
One of her hundreds of expectation.


The girl reaches home
and sits in her room,
alone again.
She wishes for her hundreds of friends
that she isn’t ready to let go of.


The girl decides to do what she does best.
She pulls out a pencil
and opens her journal to a fresh page,
and begins to write:


“The girl steps onstage.
She picks up the microphone,
looking at the hundreds of people sitting
in front of her.”
this is one of my first ever pieces of poetry...
briannah rae Oct 2017
to put it
simply,
i love you
more
than you could
ever comprehend
because if you are
anything like me
you don't believe
it is possible
that anybody
could love you
at all.
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