How am i supposed to only fall in love with one person at a time

i watched the slow death of MTV.
the music palace impaled and heaved
onto a coal-hot pyre of cool kid consumer trash.
pregnant teens, range rover birthday bonnets,
& ***** jungle-sweat challenges.

smoke the spirits of stolen leaves.
traverse the cineplex stairs and exits
glowing. mammoth screens,
with their long shadows, long teeth, long
celluloidal gods.
death to this too.

set a heap of old chairs and furniture on fire
in the backyard, hoping neighbors will gather
to drink and laugh. or at least one of them to yell
and grab you by the collar,
violently whistling.
wait and bleed.

It was the same when I gazed into the abyss
The eyes of the unknown catching my attention
Haunting in that I could not tear my eyes away
Every moment we lock into eachother I'm losing my memory
Every sight of your smile and the taste of your laugh on my lips

My heartbeat quickens when we touch, and I lose the ability to speak...

And you might be a grand idea or a chemical in my brain
You might be my savior or a heavy dream
You could bring me out of misery or take me to the depths
Whatever you want, whatever happens is my fate now

I'll leave my companions to stay by your side
I'll enjoy the silence of each our minds working separately
It's okay if you don't try to impress me
It's okay if I don't astound you
I'll take extra steps to be careful this time
I'll take my inner light and wear it on my skin

It's okay if you don't notice my chest heave when you're near...

And you could be a grand idea or a chemical in my brain
You could be my savior or a heavy dream
You have the power to raise me from my misery
But with a small word you could send me to the deep
(x2)

Whatever happens
Whatever happens is my fate now...

You've got to be a grand idea stemming from chemicals in my brain
You're a savior in my heavy dreams
You use your power to raise me from my misery
And drag me from the dark deep

You're the humming in my lips that drives me to sing
You're the burning in my legs that moves me to dance
You placed your hand into my head and left prints
Now there are places still feel you
There are places you belong

You could be a grand idea or a chemical in my brain
Causing me to break down and go insane
You could be a savior or a heavy dream
You save me from myself
Whatever happens is my fate now

Can you hear leftover nightlife leaving veins?
Can you feel stumbling heartbeat tripping on nicotine?

This is the horrible trance of your world's youth in distress
You doomed us with war paint, war games, war school
We respond with war song, war faces, war spirit
When will we outgrow Ender's game?
"Every seed dies before it grows"
Do you take any responsibility for the outcome of selfish politics?
Have you left us here to die?
We are your future
We are caring for the elderly
We advance your technology
We fill your classrooms
We eat your chemicals
We buy your products
We will cry to your great-grandchildren
We will cry at your graves
This is the sound of a billion hearts ingrown, spines breaking
You help us waste our youth, our vigor, our intelligence
Will you help us die?

The wonderful thoughts: pre-memory logs of Ocean Drive and ferry rides blend with wet and warm, smell of salt, shisha and Hawthorne… and you.
Every day meshed of hours, spent with you and broken glass on my palm. Old poison re-flows through a dead brain, new love for world of woes and wonderful thoughts and I can’t handle being around you with this secret thumping in my chest like an escaped orphan and it
burns.
               Oh, how you freeze and burn in my hands.
shooting stars behind my eyes, I catch them all in the jar on my cluttered shelf.
I named my lies after you, and I’m trying once in a while to be less broken and undeveloped. Music in both ears clashing waves, weave in and out of practiced thought. Pain chills and heat breaking over cold sweats and I still want you near me even if you’re just a star I burn for in orbit. Sleep now and I wish you rise fresh. Next week might might might might be the day. Just stay around?

Little waves of haze, sleep, dazed, could crash for days, i'll stay crazy, mind still hazy, been busy lately, but for you innately‏

let's break free, break sweats, get it? get me? get it, go. we grow, in between the cracks, make pacts, relax, get easy, life's breezey, teasing, pleasing, appeasing, ah‏

(i think i'm rapping)‏

Wanderer, I don't want to be the one that captures you, even sweetly, don't wanna be that one that names you Wanderer, just wanna be a thing to take into arms, slow, slow.‏

I could sing, I could do twirls off my little balcony, or I could pull you underwater, Wanderer, we could bleed into each other's stratosphere, whisper in my ear‏

Can you call? I've been dragging *** today, cuz I want you bad, so bad. Can you call? This bed is far too comfortable to be alone.‏

Can you? Wanderer. Stretching out my arms in my sunny room, got room for two. Can you? Call sometime and make my smile run to me, please run to me please run to me please to me i'll run between‏

Let me sing a song I'm writing, let me blend these notes I'm finding, wanderer. Wander here.‏

Little dazey still been hazy, got three hours to make me a lady, so **** complicated to make my face stay pretty, but I can break rulez. Shady, baby, I'm slim shady, got the hat and heels to make me a lady, pretty baby, I can't be crazy, need the paper, i'll go ****** later‏

Can you call? I've never met someone who meant so much, in such small things that tickle tendrils into heart, pulling me apart. Can you call? I've been meaning to say I'm still deciding on my fate, these next few years may be painful but they'll lead to you. I'll run to you‏