"How are you?"
"I'm fine."

"How are you?"
"I feel sick, sick like I'm dying. Dying from all of the things that used to make me happy. Your pictures on my computer are killing me. Your old letters are killing me. Every memory of me and you and everything we used to be, is killing me. But the thing that gets to me the most, the one thing that tops all other reason for tears: The fact that I can't talk to you about it. I can't tell you about how much I miss you or how much  I loved you or about all of the hard times. I can't ask you if you feel the same. I can't ask you if you want to try again. That's killing me, not having my best friend."

At first I thought it was the nights
I thought the nights were the worst part
The sudden fits of loneliness that come at 3am
The tv I have to watch to dull the pain
The words I have to write to drain the pain
Falling asleep alone

Then I thought it was the mornings
I thought the mornings were the worse part
The happiness I feel right after a dream
The empty spot next to me
The empty spot reminding me
You're still gone

But then I realized it was the day
The days were the worst part
Days full of little events I used to tell you about
Days of starting to type out a message
Days of erasing the words I was going to say
Because you're gone one more day
{bcg}

i don't know why you left

was it the miles between our calls
or the years between
because if so id understand
was it the secrets
or having to keep things from me
because if so id understand

but if it was not loving enough
if it was not caring
if it was boredom
or if you just stopped liking me
i don't understand

because I loved enough for the both of us
and you always said you cared
and we always had something to discuss
you said you liked me even if you only would on a dare
and you swore you'd never lied to me
so i know you spoke the truth
when you said I'm yours and you're mine this time
{bcg}

You made the small things big
The little phrases and patterns we adopted as our own
You made them important, you made them feel like home
It was the way you said "I know"
Or the way I said "tell me something"
Those repeated moments grounded me
Those habitual words centered me
I never had a home until the moment I realized
You were never going to stop saying, "Hi"
{bcg}

The problem
isn't that I want to be with you
The problem
is I always want to be with you
The problem
isn't that I want to kiss you
The problem
is that I always want to kiss you
The problem
isn't that I love you
The problem
is I never stop loving you
The problem
isn't that we're over
The problem
is that we never really started

I don't want
one more kiss
one more talk
one more time

I want
A lifetime of kisses
A lifetime of talking
A lifetime of you
{bcg}

I don't regret you
Not because you didn't break my heart, you did
Not because I don't hate you, I do
Not because you didn't take a part of me with you when you left, you did
Not because I don't spend sleepless night thinking about you, I do

I don't regret you because you made me feel
And the opposite of love is not hate
The opposite of love is not feeling at all
And you made me feel more than I've ever felt before
{bcg}