I lay outside in the sun,
Soaking in the warmth of the sun.

It is hot out,
But I still feel cold.

I’m cut off by the world around me,
The distance between my mind and reality is increasing rapidly.

Soon I will just be a hollow shell,
My mind lost in the past and the future.

I need you to bring me back to reality,
I need you to bring me back to you.

You will never know
How I feel about you
Because I feel more
Then I would ever dare to show
And more then I would ever dare to say

I thought I could be productive,
And mask my emotions with a smile on my face.
The truth is that I collapsed inside
And my accordion lungs gasped for air,
While I drowned in my own tears.

We often forget to stop and just breathe.
Look around.
Reflect on your life and you will come to realize
That life isn't just stress and darkness.
There's those small wonderful moments in life
Which makes life worth living.

Your age doesn't represent your maturity
And it doesn't have to.
Act as young or as old as you please.
Just know when to grow up

I want you to tell me about your dreams while we are cuddled up in blankets on our bed.

I want to wake up and say good morning to you with a kiss on the forehead.

I want a "have a good day" as we rush off to work late, because we wanted one more kiss before we departed for the day.

I want to hear all about your crazy or boring day at work over dinner.

I want that goodnight kiss and the sleep well.

I want the waking up in the middle of the night because you stole all the covers.

I want all that and more,

But I don't want it with just anyone,

I want it with you.

There's something moving and poetic about pictures.
Not necessarily a clear staged picture,
But one that you took without everyone noticing

Spent too much time in my head
Late nights spent on possibilities,
Possibilities that never became reality
And now this is
My sad reality

No, I'm not calling you crazy
I'm just calling out

Sometimes you amaze me
When you bring me down.

The world comes to a standstill
When you come around.

But I'm just screaming in silence
Can you hear me now?

If you stick to your guns
While they are against my head.

This time around
Aim for my chest instead.

So take me down,
I see your bluff.

I'm calling out,
Because I've had enough.

We aren't falling in love here,
We are just falling out.

I'd love to say I love you,
But I have to doubt it.

I’m insecure and so I question everything.
You’ve told me for the thousandth time that you love me,
But this feeling of doubt and insecurity still looms within me.
Voices tell me that you shouldn’t have doubts in a relationship
And that since I do have doubts I would be bette off alone.
So I always end the relationship early,
Even if there was nothing wrong or the problem was fixable.
You see the voices they tell me things
And my body just reacts to what they say,
Which in turn leads me to do things I don’t want to.

Hey readers!!!

Thank you so much for looking through my page. I wanted to give a shoutout to Lance McDonald. He has an awesome YouTube page where he reads poetry. He is trying to promote poetry because poetry is often overlooked.  As poets I think that we should all try to support him by following him.
His channel is: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYG8zE0qsfk1bbuo9s-o2VQ

Thanks,

I wish I could show you,
When you are lonely or in the darkness,
The astonishing light of your own being.

It's not you that I'm scarred by.
It's the relationship we had which scarred me.

My thoughts are like the ocean.
Deep, vast and easy to get lost in.
When my thoughts get restless it is easy to drown away in them,
And when I call out for help,
The sea of my thoughts drown out my voice,
And I am once again alone,
Unable to defend myself

You barged into my life unannounced
You stole my voice
You stole my time
You stole my life
You silenced my thoughts so I had no direction
You became my guide to my end

I've forgotten how to write

I've forgotten how to sleep

I've forgotten how to love

I've forgotten how to be happy

I've forgotten how to be me

I'm lost

Can you help me?

Remind me of how to be me again

Remind me of how to be happy again

Remind me of how to love

Remind me of how to sleep

Remind me of how to write

Before I met you I was dim
My wick was at the end of it's life
And just when I thought I was going to go out
You brought the spark back into my soul
And now the fire within me has never burned so brightly

I want to fast forward 3 years where we’ll both be in university.
Waking up next to each other and falling asleep in each other’s arms.
Being able to come home and say
“Hey baby, how was your day?”
And we’d talk about our days over diner.
I’ll kiss you and smile because I know that I am lucky to have you

Sometimes I just look at you and smile,
Because I see glimmers of the future in your eyes...
And my god I've never looked happier.

I've got a lot of faults.
I'm not easy to take care of.
I'm really high maintenance.
I don't talk that much.
I'm bad at relationships
But it's okay
Because I know that
That's who I am and that's okay

I like you not just because you're pretty and smart,
But because you understand me
And what I'm going through.
We have had similar experiences
And you understand my diagnosis more than me.
Despite all my flaws, you still accept me for who I am
And that's more than I could ever ask for.

I always thought I didn't have a purpose in life.
It wasn't until you called me because you couldn't deal with life
Did I finally understand my purpose.
When you were at your worst I made you smile and laugh
And everything suddenly makes sense

Tension was created between us by an argument we had,
Still unclear about the status of our relationship,

"I wonder how you are and if you ever miss me."

Broken hearts do the most writing.

One day,
When no one is around and I’m all alone
I’m going to drown in my own thoughts,
And that’ll be the end of me