You know how there's a Doomsday clock that measures how close we are from a global catastrophe?
That's about as close as I am to messaging you on any given day.

I have, in my heart some kind of profound love for you.
It's almost as if it's a part of my being.
But, I can't imagine you actually being mine.
I feel as if we would tie each other down too much
And no one wants that.
But I feel, in my heart a deep, profound love for you.
The kind that sits in the pit of your stomach and has a firm hold on your heart.
The kind that we always try to describe and quantify in poetry but can never quite capture.
The kind that reminds me of a shadow, smoke, and a ghost. There but not really.
Is this what love is?
A slow descent.

I could have any kind of conversation
With any kind of man
But the ones we want to talk to us
Never, ever do
They all stop in the end.
They all vanish like it was pretend.

I remember it so well,
We were talking about spirit animals.
I was expecting you to scoff, because most boys do.
But you didn't.
In fact, you loved it.

You told me all about your friends,
All obsessed with spirit animals.
I asked you what you thought yours was
And you looked me straight in the eye
And said 'A deer.'

A deer? A deer!
Oh, I can't explain how much the thought of you
Having a deer as your own spirit animal
Made my own heart soar.
I never knew how much I loved deer as a species
Until that day.

Thinking back on it, of course it's a deer.
You have such a majesty and grace about you
But such an awkward, all over the place side as well.
You move with caution, eyes unsure of what's to come
But also move so freely in your natural habitat.
Just as long as you're not caught in the headlights.

Ever since you said 'deer' to me,
My heart just soars at the thought of it.
How can a person be their spirit animal?
**And I have loved deer ever since.

Fashion is fantastic, I'm a big fan of plastic