Swimming into thoughts of suicide, Trapped in a dark cage on a bed wanting to fly but feeling my weak wings falling apart.. I'm trying to get up but my mind is controlling my body.. The demons are living inside me pushing the thoughts towards my body, I'm weak, I'm tired and I can't choose to either get up or retire..
My mind is controlling me. What is happening to me?

There's this thought that tells me to hold the knife and let it kiss my skin until my body drowns in red. Nah I never wanted death to come take me, I just want the voices inside my mind to die and set me free..
A soul once told me that the waves will stop pushing, the thunderstorms will stop screaming and the clouds will stop crying.. Trust me I'm fighting.

I'm not the one who put my life on hold, my mind is sold.. Sold to the demons who still didn't give me my gold.

Baby girl, your mama is sorry for giving birth to you in a place where you've always called hell.
Baby girl, I will carry you in my arms and stay up all nights singing to you lullabies till you fall asleep and peace kills the weakness that's in your heart..

I'll be here telling you how beautiful you are when the guy who stabbed your heart left without even a goodbye.
It is okay, the sun shines after the rain.
There is happiness after pain, and peace after war.
And I know it's hard for a person to keep punching when his hands are drowning in blood.
But I know somethings baby girl, you're your mama's powerful sunshine, your mama's strong moonlight and the sparkling stars itself.
I believe that you are the most powerful thing  in this ****** up life.

Nobody is perfect, so don't bother looking for a perfect hand to fit in yours.
And if you really need someone who's perfect and devoted.. You got your own self.
Cause nobody will understand you and respect you more than you do, kid.

I'll show you how to hold the pencil and draw, I'll help you be the person you want to become..


I will let you investigate, I will let you discover and learn about this life without me standing there behind you telling you what to choose and what to not to.

There will be days when you get get stabbed from the back from enemies you saw them best friends.
But just keep going forward, never backwards unless you will go forward even harder..

Never look to the past unless you'll learn from the mistakes you did before.

Don't ever hold their hands if they're not holding yours.

And when you fall, push yourself and stand up straight, it may hurt. But you will thank me later.

Your mama will push you through every step you step, and give you her own brain and watch you eat it while smiling.

I never met you.
but I know that when I do, I'll love you more than Kanye west loves himself.

They say expectations can never be reality.
They say expectations can never set you free.
But wait..

What about death?
What about wars?..
What about the bloodstains that's on the walls?..
What about that kid that used to sleep on a cardboard one night and now owns empires?
What about that Palestinian child inside a cage who practiced music under trees until the voice of his music got louder and louder and set him free?..

It's funny how that we keep having alarms from our dreams but we keep hitting snooze over and over again.
It's funny how that the people who struggle the most flies the highest.

And yes..
We do get dark thoughts.
Yes.
We do face dark blocks.

Look around..
Look around..
Look at the world. Look at how big it is when we zoom in.
But when we zoom out its just small and nothing.
We never know its real unless we live what they feel.
I peek inside a person and I meet a warrior.
A warrior who is sleeping, running, and daydreaming.

It's sad that I never met a warrior who's actually fighting and flying.
We are supposed to grow the earth not cut its trees.
We should quit **** and try to fly in reality.

Struggling with this mind block.
Wasting my time staring at the clock..
Waiting for you to destroy that block.
That wall that's in front of the both of us, blocks the beautiful view, and yes I mean you.
With that wall in front of the both of us,
I see nothing but a dark view.

Am I in a dark room?
Or is it just my life without you?

I've been afraid of the dark since the day I've been out.
That's why I paint to make my world full of colorful lights.
But how can I paint when I got no paint?

Since the day you built that wall.. All I see is dark holes.
Empty..
Just like my soul.
So paint will you come back, and hold me to stop the pain?
I'm just here trying my best to climb that tall wall, waiting for your call before I fall..
I don't even know anymore who's stronger anymore.. Me the lion or that dark shark that's standing still..
Hard to climb..
Hard to leave behind.
I'll stop with the knocking and just sit there on that bench waiting for you to climb up and help me get through.

Hard to breathe cause you already took my lungs..
And it's hard to keep punching when you already feel the weakness in your knuckles from the first punch..

It’s time to grow up.
I think it’s time to change.
It’s time to face the audience on stage.
It’s time to teach your mind how to fight the pain.
You got to control time to gain.

And maybe you’re stuck in a hole somewhere, and the only way that will help you get through and move is by changing your shape.
Sometimes we have to look for the good in the bad.
Sometimes we have to see things differently...
Sometimes we have to say no, sometimes we have to say yes.. Just to get through.

Just to move on..
Just to let go..
Just to live..
Just to be free..