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ardnaxela Nov 2018
You were fifth grade
so you were
my playground -
I buried small treasures
in your sand.

You were seventh grade,
lips sealed like my locker.
My safety, my trust..
I left my initials
inside your door.

You were tenth grade -
An open book,
a willing vessel;
I inked your pages
with my diary.

You were college.
You were shallow and empty.
I left you
with baggage full
of my least favorite memories.

You
You are now
but
I see future in you.
Perhaps

You'll be the
string that ties
these knots
and brings me
back to my center.
each time I gave a little piece of me. 11/1/18
  Oct 2018 ardnaxela
A Simillacrum
Is there a question?
"Have you settled?"

What the ****
do
you think?

Love is terrifying, like that.
It binds you from your judgment.

I have settled, yes.
Settled in, to the fact

That love just
goes
like that.

Have I settled?
You really think there's more?

Capture excitement
while you can,

understanding
excitement

never
lasts.
ardnaxela Oct 2018
As the stars would have it
the time is now to choose..

Favoring souls made in kind
to take flight
and conquer the night.
A single heartbeat on Eternity's
lifeline

A rhythm ripped in passion,
A beat made steady on the clashin'
of dual energies.
When our symphony resides...
A hush -
Come to me now.

Some perfect harmony...
Conducted by the Universe.
Composed in the signs.
Preserved in the stars.

The wonder we have found
ourselves lying in
could be magic or myth.
or both if and only if....

No bother, I'm arrived
and have come to oblige
My options concise

I've no choice rather than
eternally love you.
do you believe in soul mates?
ardnaxela Sep 2018
I watched a ******* the train.
I watched the small grin
slowly form across her face.
But her features didn't change.
I blinked and still
I watched the ******* the train.
Her mouth never moved...
I watched it in her eyes and knew
there was poetry in her mind.
I have a weird habit of going out in public with headphones in and nothing playing..
ardnaxela Sep 2018
i am
so tired
of these men
stripping me down
and
leaving me bare
interrogating me
with no words
left to spare
it's never new to me
i try not to care
but
somehow
i find
i'm always left shook
like a winter night's
tree limbs
the wolves come in
sheep's skin
i let them in
they rob me
blind, tender
of heart
of soul
of peace
even
my mind
i surrender.
i feel empty -
i am.
from all that’s
been took...
i am so
****
tired
of these men
who love me
then leave me
exposed in my sin.
not today satan. i'm tryna sleep.

5:32 am
  Sep 2018 ardnaxela
Edmund black
I lived a large
part of my youth
carrying things
that didn’t
belong to me
Indeed I’ve carried
their loads for
too **** long
The load of how
they felt about me
the load of what
they’ve said about me
the load of how
They’ve perceived me
for far too long
These load was never
mine to carry
to begin with
Today I am free
free at last
from criticism
fears , insecurities
and other people’s
opinion
These loads
are no longer mine
to carry
Regardless
how desperate
and foolish
they may seem
Set yourself FREE .... This load ain’t yours to carry!
ardnaxela Sep 2018
Ev’ry body should
Feel a little bit worthless
Perhaps failure would
Then hurt just a little less
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