I should be happy but I am not
I should be smiling but instead im crying

I feel all alone in the world and no one will ever understand
and I know you will tell me you do understand me
and that you are there for me and that you think im everything
well sorry my love but I cant be your everything
when I feel like nothing

maybe it is the right time for the demons to come and get me
we always had this great connection to be honest
I would tell them my sad stories, I would cry
and he promised me to always make me feel better
he promised me to never leave my side and I think he never did
he is just on a trip to see the world but he will come back
and maybe he will bring me something or maybe not
I dont really care to be honest, I just miss him.

dear prince of the hell
I dont know where you are in the world
but please come back to me because I need you
or do you hate me.. did I do something wrong
is that why you are leaving the scars and marks on my body
I never told your secret and you always kept mine
even if you are never coming back..
I will always love you and be thankfull for the things you did
but please keep protecting me..

I miss having you in my room.

it was on a monday when I first saw you

you walked into the room and there it was..
the feeling I got when I first saw you was not right
I wanted to throw up, rip out my heart, cry
it made me feel miserable, you made me feel miserable
and that was the thing I always loved about you

it was love at first sight but you couldn't see it
or maybe I was just blind and you did see it

it was on a friday a year later when we kissed again
I didn't asked why you did it, why you kissed me
because when I looked into your eyes, I knew

you could never let go of me either
and for that moment that was enough for me
the feeling you wanted this to, maybe more than me
it always made me feel special, made me feel loved

and even today you can still make me feel miserable
but everytime you do that it never made me feel more alive

I know I ****** you up pretty boy
but let's be honest you did the same to me

so after all I think you did saw it, you saw me.

I could write a story about my life
how everything went wrong in december
the day that I turned sixteen

my old world closed and a new one opend
a world filled with drugs, alcohol and good music
it was a time of badboys, overthinking and heartbreaks
it went on with wearing too much make-up and crazy hair colors

first I was scared for all these things
my world was changing and so was I
but after a while I got used to it, it began to feel like home
a place where I could be myself, filled with lovely broken people

when I was sixteen I met this girl
she was a bit like me but different
she had something special..
maybe it was her smile

I always was surounded by demons, everyone could see it
but this girl really was an angel, she was the light in the sky

so maybe I shouldn't write a story about myself this time

I should write a story about you
how you make me crazy and confused
how annoying you can be sometimes
but more important about
how much you mean to me
how you make me feel special

but it always made me feel like falling
it should have made me feel like flying

oh sweet sixteen you were so bad for me.

an emtional wreck
is what you can call me these days
tears touching the cold hard floor
thinking about our memories together

I'd wish my heart was smaller
that there was no room for you
it would make things so much easier

and maybe I was stupid
and all of this really was my fault
but you can't blame me for being in love with you
the truth is all I ever wanted was for you to like me
not because I am pretty just for who I am

when she was around him
the world began to open, it was something magical
every single little bird in the sky was singing
these were the melodies that I would never forget

and it is okay to be crazy in love with someone and to get hurt
and it is okay to cry your eyes out and to feel like an complete idiot
you are only seventeen, be dramatic, be angry, be dumb, be young

but please remember my little girl
you can't be broken forever, you need to get up
look into the sun and embrace the beauty of life
count all the stars in the universe and sleep on the grass
get way to drunk and party way to hard

be your beautiful self

because you are worth so much more
than just some ****** up, blue eyed badboy

~~
Then, if ever, is the red color grows fade
The petals of red roses drop
If the birds don't sing any songs
And even a butterfly doesn't
Play on a purple flower

If the mistake happens in the rain
You 'll not cry
You can't be afraid of thunder
They will cleanse you

And when I am gone
Forgive me, but the melody in the air
You will come, playing in the garden,
Dance with the lost grasshoppers

Any yellow day when red flamboyant will be bloomed
Will have to take off your colorful sunglasses
At the very noon will be floated on the Cuckoo's love song
Again and Again it will prove your arrival,

O' Spring

You'll be the very white sky after rain
Will bloom red hibiscus
On that gilded day  
Red flamboyant 'll be loved with yellow flamboyant

Patched up with melody and words
Will be made new Songs,
New Poetry,
With the yellow flowers tune

Then again,
You 'll not  sing a song of despair,
Not even a song of hiatus,
Will sing the Songs of Joy,
Stir in the way of dreams,
Mating

Back to again and again
I 'll come back to you
Both 'll make a love  
For the creation of a new life
~~

remember last year and how ****** up everything was
well the mess we made back than didn't clean up itself

please step on my heart, break every single piece appart
burn the ashes of my soul till nothing is left

brainwash me and make me yours
use me like a doll, I will play along
treat me like Im not worth seeing the birds in the sky
and still I will be the person who is there for you at 3 am

everybody knew that we had to much fun
spending all my time with you talking about things I'd rather forget
things that didn't even matter when she was around him

the stars turning into different constellations tonight
and we both knew from that moment we kissed again
nothing could be the same anymore

maybe the world was in love with the idea of us being in love
and maybe at one point in my life I was in love with that too

I dont know what I want

the stars were out and I was crying
the universe was dark and everything around us was dying

I always told you I loved your blue eyes
but maybe I was lying.

I just want to get drunk with you in the middle of the night
And stare at the none-ending universe
And wonder how we are just a small molecule
if we compare ourselves to the whole galaxy
and all the places we didn't discover yet
the whole wide world is just at our feet

I just want to have those late night calls with you
Where we tell our stories once again
And I'll listen to your voice
till we both fall asleep

I just want to laugh and cry with you
Laugh about those stupid metaphorical love poems
But i'm such a hypocrite because i'm writing that **** now
I used to joke about those corny cliche lines every poets uses
to describe their lovers, like their ocean blue eyes or
their cherry red lips and how they're so madly in love
So joke if you must
But i'm liking those poems nowadays
Because every poem is starting to remind me of you

I just want to cry with you
crying about those songs which we don't even know the lyrics to
but just because the song is so beautiful
the beauty of the melody and how the words fit so nicely along with it
I dig that ****

I just want to have endless conversations with you
About the questions only god knows the answer to
And always argue about our disagreements
And **** boy, you are so stubborn
But you probably think the same about me

I just want to explore your mind
Read every page of your book
And every little thing no one else sees
Your mind is like a labyrinth
It's just so confusing and ****** up like mine
But i'll find my way
And the more i learn about you
the more i'm starting to fall in love

I just want to describe the wonderful person that you are
and to analyse every little thing you do
And notice your beautiful features
but when i look at your face
it feels like my mind just stops thinking
like writing songs without chords
lost words and unfinished sentences
And when i look in your eyes
I see a galaxy with countless stars and i just get lost
And the only thing i could possibly write down is that
Boy you're so **** amazing
And I think I love you
There, I said it. I feel so relieved now
Cause i always hated to admit that

I just want to wake up next to you
Each and every day
And to start a new day and a new life with you
And i know there are so many places we didn't discover yet
And so many long roads to wander on
And if a car ever crashes into us
I wouldn't mind dying that night
cause to me it seems like such a heavenly way to die
Just right there, in your arms
Feeling nothing but peace

And even if we were going straight to hell
I wouldn't ever be scared, I wouldn't even doubt it
Cause when i'm with you

Everything is fine.