Where do you write something you want someone to read
but you don't want them to see?
Almost a year ago, I did some pretty messed up things
and no, it was not grown up of me
and yes, I still feel guilty (at least a part of me does)
and no, I still don't think I "needed" to
However, to think you have done nothing wrong
is an outright lie
Is belittling someone a sign of love?
Is masking someone's voice a sign of affection?
Is closing the doors on things I was not ready to leave behind
a sign of your attention?
And no, that wasn't the end of it
And yes, I'd rather let you read between the lines
because even writing this in memory of things
that once were,
is giving you way too much of my time
Nonetheless, I do not hate you as much as I thought I had
I just have one question,
where do you believe it went wrong?
Could it have been the numerous times I warned you
that something is bound to go awry?
Maybe it was hidden between all the times
you were busy tweeting about how awful I was
while I begged for forgiveness from a problem
I did not create
I can only request one final thing,
take a moment for yourself to replay the words
that we once spoke to each other in your head
Analyze the seconds we spent together
Remember all the wasted parts of my life spent on
trying to earn your approval while you
continue to let everyone know
just how awful I was to you
I dare you, after all of this is done, to come back and
accuse me of being
"emotionally unavailable"
Fortunately for me, however,
I've come to terms with things that once kept me sinking
and I've found the things that keep me afloat
So for now, I bid this chapter of our lives
a soft, sincere and sweet goodbye
(P.S. You may have once had me
wrapped around your fingers, but if
I learned anything from you at all,
it's that I will always be stronger than
what I think I can't handle)