You know
that I could be better.
Oh if only
you sent me a letter.
Its been so long
since you've been gone,
since you left me alone.
And i still remember
when we met in December.
How we fell in love
In only one week
oh i never knew
i could be so weak.
I fell for you,
in a second or two
and gave you my heart
now i cant be apart
apart from you.

You are
who i treasure the most.
i'm missing you while you stay
in your Hawaiian coast.

i'll miss you till earthquakes
stop shaking the ground.
i'll miss you till rain clouds
stop flooding the town.
i'll miss you in silence
and miss you in screams.
i'll miss you as fire
engulfs all our dreams.
i'll miss laughing and crying
and holding you close.
i'll miss you when all
that remains is my ghost.
i'll miss you while lonesome,
waiting outside your door.
i'll miss you forever
and forever more.
i'll miss you my dearest,
i'm sorry to go.
i loathe my decision
but it must be so.

I look out to the sea
Which reminds me of you
My thoughts reach out
But you get carried further away
To the depths of despair
To the farthest corner
You leave me behind
But my boat still stays

Opposites* attract, but we're one in the same.
Brown eyes meet green, saying words our mouths won't.
He nods like he understands and I almost ask him to explain it to me.
Almost, because I nod like I get it too. I don't though
It's clear to both of us how blurry all of this is.
It's easy to see how hard it is to understand.
It's nice to think how bad it could be.
Its odd how normal it feels.
Though it couldnt feel more right to be somewhere so wrong,
I love that I hate to love everything about us.

I want you to hold my hand.
Hold my hand so tight that my bones break and every crack whispers how much you really need me. The space between my fingers should forget what it's like to be empty because you'll fix each and every crease. Light a fire in my palms and melt away any other touch other than your own.
I desire you.
I am something worth destroying. Can't you see that I would rather be a pile of broken floorboards and shattered glass than an abandoned house, having never been touched by you? Burn your name across my body and tattoo it onto my heart so I understand what it means to love with a passion.
I want to thank you.
You've made minutes feel like decades by holding me until my internal clock shattered and the only perception I had of time was the beating of your heart. You turned words I was too afraid to speak into currency and now I am a millionaire with nothing to show for it except your smile. You filled my eyes with stars and heart with assurance so when pieces of me died I still had something left to believe in. You never gave up on me when everyone else did.

Am I the only one that has their demons feasting upon their souls?
They say it is easy to tie a noose around your mind,
To overcome the urges and temptations of ending your life with a suicide
They don't know the true pain and torment that is going on in my head
An epic battle that leaves me with restless nights in bed
"End your life already" they say, as they prey on me during my weakest hours
Sometimes I give into the voices, carrying the sharp blade to my wrist
Crying as I struggle to mutter three powerful words that keeps me going
Choking on my sobs, my lungs deflate with a desire to say that God loves me
I try to convince myself that God is trying to test my faith
And to just wait, wait and wait
Then my Demons will eventually go AWAY.....



~Imperfect Desire **