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Audrey Maday Mar 2015
If our bones are,
Made of stardust,
Our hearts must,
Be made of something
More.
Perhaps within us,
We each have,
A beating star.
Audrey Maday Feb 2015
Maybe seeing you in those
dreams
over and over again
Is supposed to mean something
But I don't think
It would mean anything
to you
So, I guess I'll
Just stay quiet.
Audrey Maday Feb 2015
"God created English so that Shakespeare could be born,"
My English professor told me,
Upon entering class,
But as I sat in my desk,
I mused,
Perhaps God created English,
So that you and I may converse.
  Feb 2015 Audrey Maday
jealous
you're the iceberg to my titanic .
you took me by surprise..
and left me in a wreck .
left a hole in the center of my heart
made me unfixable and cold and *broken
past experiences ;
l am the familiar unfamiliar.
I am a house of bones working as your cage of sorrow.
I am the three o’clock suicide hotline call your mom doesn’t know about.
I am your shallow breathing.
On a clear, cold night I am the emerald flash
Of the dying sun on the ocean.
Blink, and I’ll be gone.
I am the lukewarm coffee you force yourself to finish at the cafe.
Bitter, cold, and disappointing,
But you can’t stop drinking.
You once told me that coffee was the only thing keeping you alive,
So I pulled the plug on the machine.
I am the regret you throw up from your weekend binging routines,
Spilling from your mouth and falling off your lips like lava.
You could never keep me down.
I am Van Gogh, cutting my own ear off
In attempts to get your love.
I didn’t realize that giving it to you meant throwing a piece of myself away.
I am the earthquake that shattered the foundation of Los Angeles
just because I could.
After all, you always said you liked disaster.
On the nights that you actually manage to sleep, I am the spider
That crawls into your mouth.
It’s always been my favorite place to go.
I will love you like a mother loves her unborn child,
Cherishing the sight of blood just because it reminds me of you.
I am the two things you hate the most,
Paper cuts and taxes.
I am the two things you love the most,
Smoking and forgetting.
When you go to light your lucky, I am the kiss
Between the flame and the paper:
Something you only want to do once.
But you don’t have a smokers cough for no reason.
I am the desire in a baby’s grip to hold his mothers hand.
But, I am the mother who never cared.
I am not the tropical showers everyone wishes for,
But the devastating monsoons.
I am the reason storms are named after people.
When the winds are howling and your fingers are blistered with frostbite,
You can count on me to not be there.
Your mother always warned you to wear a seatbelt,
For fear of a collision.
I am the windshield your head crashes through when you don’t listen,
Carving the word
“Guilt”
Into your scalp.
I only wanted to see how your brain worked
When you weren’t thinking of me.
I am the look on your best friends face when he catches you
Sleeping with his girlfriend.
I am the teeth you lose from the punch;
Hide me under a pillow and I’ll disappear.
I am your ravenous drug habit,
Breathe me in enough and I’ll give you a high
You could have never imagined.
I am addiction.
I am withdrawal.
I am the lies of God and the hope for redemption
At your AA meetings.
Talk me up enough and I’ll be truer than your fathers gambling habit.
I am the tears that fall from your grandfathers eyes
When you tell him about the last time you tried to **** yourself.
After all, it was just yesterday.
I am the stones you placed in your pockets
And the icy river you plunged yourself into.

I am not the stranger who saved you.


I will never be the one to save you.
Audrey Maday Feb 2015
They say there are thousands of worlds which
We cannot see, beyond our galaxy.
So, there must be one made,
For you and me.
I hope there is a universe out there somewhere where you and I are perfectly happy.
Write me something beautiful she said,
And I kissed her a sunset of poems in bed.
I made her laugh when the tragedies flowed in her head.
I got writers block when rage made my heart run red.

Write me something beautiful she said
I put my pen down and just listened instead
To what was between the lines where no ink was shed
And helped close the wounds where nothing bled

Write me something beautiful she said
So I took her hand in joy and dread
Signed away every memory ahead
And promised with this ring thee I wed
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