I'll never be able to fulfill her needs,
her empty and lonesome life is the one dream I can't cease,
Don't expect me to come running back into your daydreams,
I can't satiate your needs.
You say you dream of love and family?
what about me?
a daughter who still visits you,
but thats not enough?
Don't expect that he'll love you forever,
they've all left you,
I pity you and love you,
but I'm forever gone,
you lost my trust and longing,
my life is a fairytale without you.
I love you,
I'll visit you,
but this is goodbye mom.

I know the truth buried under the lies
I know the face hiding behind the mask
I know the pain locked behind a smile
I know the laugh sealing in the hurt
I know the phrases covering the truth
It was the cat
I fell into a thorn bush
It's just a scratch
I know the pain you've endured
Find your voice and speak the truth
It wont go away if you don't try
They wont stop laughing on their own
The pain wont just disappear
The tears wont suddenly stop flowing
Find your voice and speak up
You're strong and beautiful
Please stay awhile dear

I could probably write a bunch of stanza's
With black letters and white background of metaphors and similies
I could use pretty words and figures of speech
And end with something ironic.
Or use lines that we've all heard before and try to pass it off as my own,
or write something that's all too vague.
But the truth is
All I'd really be writing about
Is the same old concept that's been written about in poetry for years
And the same feeling that's felt all across the world on a Saturday night when we are alone:
A little bored
Maybe even a little lonely
And a little desperate for a miracle.

People always say there are some things too terrible to build beauty out of
I am lying down on a couch in the prayer room of a hospital
Facing the huge cross I don't pray to staple-gunned onto the wall
Waiting, while my battery dies, to hear if my father will live or not
I'm not trying to make this sound poetic or romantic or even bearable
Let's just agree I've never felt so lost in my life, not even when I had no friends and I fought daily with my mother
If my father dies, so does she, and I never pictured myself as the protagonist of an Orphans Plight story
Certainly not with two younger brothers to care for
I feel guilty, because I've imagined him dying sometimes, I always imagine it as a relief but I feel nothing now, not even numbness
I wonder if God is punishing me for those thoughts and wishes
I'm trying to out-pray those thoughts, counting the blessings on the lines of my fingers
Hoping to heaven someone up there will take pity on me and save his life
This evening I told my aunt I wouldn't care if he came back whole or not, I just want his dying-seal laugh back on the dinner-table

Words filled with hate,
words sealed his fate.
He said the wrong word,
now my vision is blurred.
I envision,
The oblivion.
A ***** to his face,
he fills the dirt's place.
He dug his own grave,
with that same *****.

numbness to pain does not make it
non existent
floating imaginations do not make them
unreal
(h)arsh reality does not make it
fiction
big dreams do not me(a)n they're
unattainable
high **(p)es do not mean you're
delusional
sadness does not mean
depress(i)on
happi(n)ess doesn't have to mean you're
bipolar
wanting more do(e)sn't make you
ungrateful
and all these words that (s)ociety uses against you
to make you feel

weak

unaccepted


vulnerable
&

broken



di(s)card them.

all you need,
to be happy
is positivity

*this is my promise to you.

You embellish my life, I cherish your love, trust and the time you take just to make me smile

My eyes awe at the sight of your visage. It must have taken God eight days to perfect you before his eyes.

You gave me hope when I thought I  was lost. Your voice is melody echoing the sounds of joy.

In your arms, I am in a garden of heaven basking in bliss, resting in peace but alive and indeed enjoying the aroma of elation swaying with the wind.

Hide behind your mask
                      Never let them in
    Don't let them see past your smiles
                      To the darkness that lies within
                        Don't let them find your heart
                                        Keep up your façade
                                  Disguise yourself    
                             Hide yourself
   Stay forever locked away
                              *Don't let them know about us.