I've been trying to convince myself
that I'm okay.
But your favorite tshirt is stained
with my blood.
And I know
I've been lying to myself.
for a long time.

Monkeys staring at the eyeballs in our heads
The forced rope ties tighter and pops out the vein
The process takes a moment but no more than a feather being blown
Sun beams now highlight the velvet hour.

Sand castles keep the sand man guarded and safe
In return, we have another day swallowed by the unaccomplished.
Spirited with a medical remedy
Lovers say a happy goodnight to the days ahead.

String haired figurines on the walls form the decor in this doll house
The rooms sit back to back but remain mostly vacant.
She dances around the room and tries on the attire
Forming the platform for our intimate silent exchange.

The chair pulls down and gravity makes its move
Maps form plans to be affiliated with a higher member
But with refusal, we can sit and add wood to an internal stove
Write stories noticed by no-one living in elegant designed routine.

They say its madness that gets you in the end.

*I dont think I agree!

We conquer foul play caused by past discrepancies
Somewhere along the chart, hearts sink into the sand
Scars caused by burned skin never change their shape
Even when nursed back to health, they still hold the same print.
The pleasure that you speak of is too far in the distance,
All moves are read with a cautious eye
Feelings cannot be talked off the overhanging ledge
The fire of pain cannot be put out inside.

Roads do not just lay out paths before us,
They form partings of what was once a unified land.
Promised deliveries are only distractions
So the forbidden can again be secretly admired.
Why does the bond have to be evolved?
Why does it have to mean coexist as the separate?
We all live lives so solitary and curious
Where there is always a bit left on the side.

Hopeless and heartless is what we are left with
The more we go on the less we can hold onto in pride.
Call the delivery man for food, love and friendship
When we are done we tell him to go on and drive.
All feels like an existence in a video game
Where all the lights are made to be blinding
Same pages may exist but
How they are read is never beloved again.

I'm in love with a boy I've kissed once.
Who I know I'm bound to never kiss again.

I'm in love with a boy I've kissed twice.
First one so sweet.
Second one so bitter.

I'm in love with a boy I've kissed three times.
Each for the words 'I love you.'

I'm in love with a boy I've kissed four times.
Each one better than the last.  

I'm in love with a boy I've never kissed.

My heart is on fire
With love.
Love for people I don't know.
It's on fire
With passion.
Passion for things I don't like.
It's on fire
With pain.
Pain because of him.
It's on fire
With the memory of his kiss.
With the happiness I remember.  
With my childhood.
With laughter.
Tears.
Smiles.
Life.
Death.
Its on fire.
And I'm terrified the flame is going to go out.

I.
You are not a loser.

II.
You are not a loser.

III.
⁡I am bad at talking.

she was strong enough to jump and weak enough to drown

I'm all bottled up with no where to go. So much to say and no way to say it. I'm so lost at sea, open me up and read me please. Like a telephone on hold forever, a elevator stuck at one level; let me escape this agony. Let me be set free.
let me sing my song, scream all day long, feel a breath in my lungs, exhale the smoke, from yesterday.
Let me find a way to say I'm not okay.

Watch me tarnish
watch my luster fade away
The degradation
of being used,
and misused
watch me rust away
watch me turn to dust
I'll just blow away
in which ever way
the wind will go
just a memory of something
that used to shine