If you want to be a poet,
just pretend to be depressed.
Drink alcohol, cut yourself, &
pop pills.
Listen to angry music &
wear black every day.
If you dare to smile we will
cut you from the canon!
To be a poet is to be a disciple,
a saddened & sickened disciple.
If you aren't angsty & angry
you cannot be a poet.
Poetry is about sadness
& hate & anger.
Poetry is a way for teenagers
to hate their parents
& get away with it.
Alas, I cannot be a poet;
I believe in Heaven, you see,
or something like it
& enjoy life
immensely.
Yes, this is completely scathing