I never said goodbye.
Instead I let you fall,
further and further
until you left the hope
that was my
peripheral vision.

I could not have you.
I could not keep you.
I could not keep the
simple pleasures
that are met alongside the
empty-handed.
I was forced to leave without
a whisper in your ear
to say that
you are beautiful.

And if I had said it
what would we be?
What would you have done
had you known?

But I cannot wonder
on answers I lack.
Questions that will remain
static
but only in my past.

Do not forget me.
Do not forget the things
I never said.
The reason for the
smiles
I didn't show.

We are the past:
The distant memories,
hazy slur of another time.
Soon your face will
lose its features
somewhere in my mind,
the sound of your voice
will be
silenced.

But remember my name.
Hold on,
keep it in a drawer
by your bed,
check to see if it is still there
every night before the
sleep of dreams
void of my face and the way
we danced.

Pray,
do not forget.

Don't mistake survival for happiness,
Read behind the eyes,
Read between the lines,
Don't ask for an open mind,
What's inside isn't all it seems,

Take the smile as a gospel truth,
Accept normality as a guide of peace
Be appeased the simple things are easy,
The daily routine is routinely pacifying.

All I ask as I carry on keeping on,
Remember the fight I engaged to be here,
To remain here, to stand not flee,
I will not ask for concern, just remember.
Please just remember I am still fighting.

We are all addicts;
Does it mean it’s a bad thing?
An addict does something again,
And again

That means i’m an addict, when I learn to ride a bike.
I try over and over again,
I can't quit it,
The addiction to not give up,
To want to know the feeling of accomplishment,
You feel it, and it’s the first high you get from it,
Holding on to it, you never want to let go
So you chase the high, and become a functioning addict

Is a bad thing, if i’m addicted to saving people’s lives?
If I’m addicted to research, on making human kind strive
Will I be ridiculed for it?
I hope not, but I can relate
To what an addiction can feel like;

I am a bookworm;
These books are all I have,
I can't stop spending,
All my money on them,
And my vision has become blurry
Hours upon end,
Eyes fixate within
Each and every page
My mind reads things for days
It becomes all I know,
I shut the rest out

I don't really get out;
This reminds me I'm alive
Invoking sensations that cause a vibe,
And electrically stimulate my mind,
I'm encapsulated by my pride;
"This is my knowledge" I say
This experience is mine

I’m okay in this world,
A man-made peace, in my own mind
But I’ve socially cut out things;
Time after time
I’ve failed to notice the harm
Done to my body during the process,
More worried, was I, to focus on feeling
That high again,
When I read my first book
Completing it’s pages

So let me rephrase this;
We will all have addictive qualities
Sometimes in great quantities
You can be what you want to be
If you understand moderation

Addictions are characterizations,
Of our beings,
Just don’t let them destroy you

I love waves.
I can touch them but I can't catch them.
Maybe that's why I love them, they are so touchable but so unreachable at the same time.
It's a crazy feeling you get when you love something like that,
something that's not concrete but it's not abstract,
something you can point to but you can't actually see.

My soul is not tortured like the skin of a man alone in the searing heat of the dessert.
My mind does not crumble into the rubble of a post war city.
My body does not shake it's self into a shaken, splattered, spineless sorbet.
I am happy, not like a bird in spring but happy as I can be.
My mind is composed, not like a master archer but composed all the same.
My angst is not kept in a box of self disbelief wrapped in a ribbon of doubt and despair.
I am, me, happy to be me. I have my issues which occasionally need tissues but nonetheless and nevertheless and nonethemore and alwaysthemost I am happy