Maybe I've seen too many movies, you know? Maybe I've read too many romances or maybe I've listened too many songs about love.
You keep saying I have this habit to romanticize everything and to believe in things that aren't real. I wish I could prove you wrong, but maybe you are right. But this is utterly your fault, my love. It was because of you.
I started to believe in what the dreamers call "love at first sight" when I first put my eyes on you and that warmth in my chest, that feeling of belonging when I had a far away view of your face in the distance, that unknown force that made my throat suffocate, that couldn't be explained in a rational way, because in that moment I was not thinking rationally but oh god, how I felt it all, I didn't know why, but I knew that the sight of your face would change everything, forever.
I started to believe in what the dreamers call "soulmates" when I crossed the world to run away from you and somehow I ended up in your arms. I knew, I just knew I had found the love of my life too soon in life and I ran, I ran as far as I could because I was afraid and after all these years I still want to run but let me tell you why...I'm a coward, but you already know that, don't you? I've ruined myself just to get away from you, I've used every distraction I could find to replace you, distractions that had traces of you but their names just didn't sound right in my ears like yours did. My whole skin repealed everyone that was not you and so did my whole being as a human. I'm not saying I can't be with anyone but you, but I was not made for ordinary love. I was made to burn in your hands, I was made for the pain of your silence, I was made for your rough words and for the coldness in your voice, I was made for your distant eyes and I was made to be ruined by you, but only you.
"There are some things that we love so overly, that it's better not to have them than to lose them someday". At least that's what I used to say to myself, hoping it would make me miss you less. But it never did.
We are so bad for each other, but why does it feel so right?
Maybe I am crazy for loving you.