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 Nov 2017 Zkulblakazz
Linkuya
Winter
 Nov 2017 Zkulblakazz
Linkuya
Concepts bleeding out in confusion,
The frost eats away at these last remnants of life,
Arms deep in this ice river, my reflection a faint illusion,
This familiar sensation slices me open like a knife.

Sweet release found in this serene death,
Sinking deeply into this dead river, as lifeless as I,
Visions of the past play out during my final breath,
All other thoughts locked away in frost, I say my last goodbye.
 Nov 2017 Zkulblakazz
Svode
Life
 Nov 2017 Zkulblakazz
Svode
Life.
From the sky to every tree,
it encompasses you and me.
It has no end, not for us
but it has an end to those unjust.
Ever so forgiving, yet so bittersweet.
A moral chance to prove a worth.

The cruel,
in their minds they're perfect people.
People who have done no wrong,
and deserve no hate.
We all make mistakes.

Mishaps,
They determine an unknown future;
an accident extended in cause.
Never to happen, always to come,
mistakes to life are 1-1.

Broken.
A window to an unknown sight.
The future to a reader's delight.
Every past problem you've ever felt,
inside a basket of the damage you've dealt.
Damage to others,
damage to me.
Damaging the Earth,
and humanity.

Sorrow.
Regret for the past of a person,
what's the use in feeling it?
You can't forgive every problem,
but you can't forget any trifle.

Depression.
The pressure of a person's feelings.
Raveled up in a box to ship and go.
The constant belittlement of a man,
to overtake him at demand.

Urging thoughts,
from the cruel.
Thoughts of life,
broken and shattered.
Destroyed by a mishap ever so large,
that only others can feel sorrow for the loss.
Sometimes it feels as if I have no skin on.

Every blow of unfavorable wind
like thousands of needles
driven deep into exposed flesh.
Crowds of relentless, sandpaper-cloaked figures
tear off muscle, fiber by fiber
as they pass scraping by.
Gazes turn sunbeams into chisels
that carve fourth degree burns
into the sorry mess of these insides-turned-outsides.

Maybe I truly have no skin on. Maybe that's why they point at me.
Always with such pity, amusement
And disgust.
 Nov 2017 Zkulblakazz
Oculi
Raw thoughts, yeah?
Nah, not today, man
Too bad, I was expecting them
You'll get them, just shut up
It's just noise
They all want me and my noise
But it's all just noise
It scratches
It creaks
It beeps
It boops
It bleeps
It beams
It beckons
It goes on for oh so, so, so, so, so, so, so long
Why do you want it, you disgusting *****?
shhhhh
khhhh
tshhhhh
krrrrr
bhhhhh
ssssss
trrrrr
But it doesn't make sense
None of it does
It's me
It just goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on
Why do you want it, tell me that
Who are you to ask my why I want it if I do
I'm tired of this can I just make peace with me
Yes you can
No you can't
Yes you can't
No you can
Yes you are
No we aren't
No I can't can
.......
.......
.......
-------
-------
-------
ooooooo
Who are you?
 Nov 2017 Zkulblakazz
Ariadne
Vacuum
 Nov 2017 Zkulblakazz
Ariadne
I've never felt this way before
Surrounded by people, yet so alone
So empty; like a void growing inside me
Like an insatiable hunger

Hunger, yet no matter how much I eat
I'm still empty

I've never felt this way before
As if the vacuum inside me
Is slowly eating away at me
Like a rip in an airlock

An airlock soon to be ripped to shreds
By nothingness
The spiritual successor to a poem I wrote many years ago. One lost to time, sadly.
 Nov 2017 Zkulblakazz
Ariadne
Awake
 Nov 2017 Zkulblakazz
Ariadne
I don't want to be awake
When I'm awake, I'm sad

I don't want to be awake
When I'm awake, I'm lonely

I don't want to be awake
When I'm awake, I'm in pain

I don't want to be awake
When I'm awake, I don't feel alive

I don't want to be awake
But I can't sleep
It's feeding time.
Put your favorite food on the stove,
But don't you stand beside and stir while there's lots left to do:

Like drying your eyes with the light of meaningless information
Like running laps between choices to make, never quite reaching any
Like watching herds of dust cats growing in every corner
Like ignoring texts
Like drifting away
Like feeling dead
            or fearing you will be
            or wishing you were
Like covering your skin's imperfections with pure red
Like decorating walls with scratches for every time you've ever:
            inconvenienced someone slightly
            thought ill of anyone or anything
            made others worry
            failed to take care of yourself
            burned your food
Like...




Ding!
Now that you've taken your time with these routine steps, your meal should be ready.
You've done well. The charred bits serve as perfect fuel to the fire that consumes you.

The resulting smoke signals a message:
"You were right,
you truly are worthless.
Here's what's left,
only a few bites of what's unburnt.
You deserve nothing more"
A memory of my days spent living in a college dorm. I'm glad these times are over.
 Nov 2017 Zkulblakazz
Essen
Four dots. Four lights
Each floating deep in an icy cavern
Each glints in time to an unknown beat

I see my breath, but I'm not cold
The crystals of water feel like rock,
or plastic

I feel warm here
Watching the four lights
Watching them glint as I speak to them
Looking to the back, at the fourth light

One light fades and goes out
The last light I looked at
The last light I made glint

It glinted fast, and went out

The other two glint
Still outshine the fourth
In the back, growing brighter

Another glints fast, pops away to black
The other just vanishes

Now I am alone with the last light
The brightest of all
And I see
It too was blinking

Faster than the light that faded too soon
Faster than the light that flared and then blew
Faster than the light than just ceased to be
It too was blinking

But I broke that light
And now in the dark
I see how cold it truly is
I played Doki Doki Literature Club recently. Yeah.
 Nov 2017 Zkulblakazz
celeste
i’m terrified
because i know
one day i’ll die

not just my body
but my memory
everything that remains of me

one day i’ll truly die
nobody will whisper my name again
and i’ll become

irrelevant

insignificant

unimportant

someday, nobody will think of me ever again
all i was
all i wish i could be
all i will be

will mean nothing.
probably my biggest fear but it's ok bc it's inevitable and i'm coming to terms with knowing that nothing will change when i die.
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