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Essen Apr 2019
Snip snip
Away with the old
Snip snip snip
Away with the rotten

The sorry, forsaken
The taken for granted
The very last times
And my disenchantment

Snip snip
Away it will go
Snip snip snip
To rot at my roots

The attempted refutes
The lost hopes and monsters
That sit at the foot of my bed
And just mock me

The liars, the careless
Are just dying limbs
To fuel my own growth
And make light out of dim

So I'll eat and be merry
And sing, laugh and cry
When it's really not my fault
There's no need to die

I'll grow and I'll blossom
And become something new
They'll love me for me
And they'll hate you for you

But I won't have to worry
Because now our ties
Will be fully broken
No need for your lies

No need for your libel
No need for your ****
Snip snip
Snip snip snip
I'm sorry my poems are not fun anymore. That girl is gone.
Essen Apr 2019
i'm writing this on my phone since i can't seem to get up today, i'm still in bed

i'm sure you're sick of hearing it, so sick of me, and you just want to move on

i guess i can't blame you now, even if it's killing me, i can't stop thinking

your friendship meant a lot to me, enough that its absence is deadly

i'm not the person i was when we were friends, or even before lich

i don't know who i am now. i'm not who i want to be though

these months have broken me and when i thought we were cool, well...

we weren't, apparently. was that your idea or...

was that hers? i can't tell where you end and she starts

if you want to help, abandonment's not help

if you care about me, don't leave me here

if you're not her, don't make fun of me

these aren't demands, it's me begging

begging for your forgiveness

begging for your mercy

i don't... i don't know...

what to do too

i just know

i miss

lila, i doubt you even check this anymore, but i'm not who you're saying i am. i think deep down you know that.
Essen May 2018
I'm ******* plastered

I really want to weep
Suddenly I throw it up
Then I fall asleep
Essen Nov 2017
Four dots. Four lights
Each floating deep in an icy cavern
Each glints in time to an unknown beat

I see my breath, but I'm not cold
The crystals of water feel like rock,
or plastic

I feel warm here
Watching the four lights
Watching them glint as I speak to them
Looking to the back, at the fourth light

One light fades and goes out
The last light I looked at
The last light I made glint

It glinted fast, and went out

The other two glint
Still outshine the fourth
In the back, growing brighter

Another glints fast, pops away to black
The other just vanishes

Now I am alone with the last light
The brightest of all
And I see
It too was blinking

Faster than the light that faded too soon
Faster than the light that flared and then blew
Faster than the light than just ceased to be
It too was blinking

But I broke that light
And now in the dark
I see how cold it truly is
I played Doki Doki Literature Club recently. Yeah.
Essen Jan 2017
Please, God, help me get through just one more day
It feels like so long since I lost my way
The fire that fuels is the one that destroys
Looking at the ceiling and my head's all noise

My only friend left is the ticking clock
I guess that's what happens when you try to walk
Down a tightrope of twine on a lake of flames
I pick apart the past and don't know who to blame

Was it me? Was it you? Was it someone else too?
I felt we were close and you chose that we're through
And it stung and it hung and it weighed on my back
Just another brick in the emotional sack

How could I tell you hated him so bad?
I told you and Minxy and you both went mad
And you said we were friends
I guess that was a lie
Now I'm stuck in my hatred and wanting to die

You of all people had thought to be different
While they talked around me you sat there and listened
I loved you so much, almost like a brother
I ******* off my poxes, you moaned about mother

Then the blaze caught and it burned all the nice things we made
I grabbed for a bucket, you just fanned the flames
So **** it, I left, since this **** had me beat
So I'm sitting outside but I still feel the heat

Why are you mad?
Do you hate love that bad?
It was meant to be good but you made it all sad
Then you jumped at the chance to act smug in that thread
Making fools of yourselves there, just you and your friend

Months later and its still here stuck filling my brain
Thorned as a thistle and tight as a chain
I want to forget and I want to move on
But things just feel off with me having you gone

So I'll stay and I'll think of how I can make right
I won't hide away and I'll stick through the night
So, hey, if you read this, just know that I love you
I just miss the old Tang, I think Blazy does too
Essen Oct 2016
My eyes were sore
From what they saw
And so one day
Were sealed away

My ears they hurt
I heard no more
For times were tough
I had enough

My vocal chords
Were sore and strained
They didn't sing
They didn't ring

My body hurt
I closed my mind
I thought it best
A mental rest

I feel no more
My wish was earned
A life of lead
And now I'm dead
It turns out that enough stress can make a person emotionally shut down to the point where it's hard to feel anything. This is something I've been struggling with for about a year and a half now. Thankfully I think I'm finally working my way out of it. This was written near the start of it, when spring had finally arrived. That was a bad winter.
Essen Oct 2016
Touch the squid
Rub the squid
Taste the squid
Chase the squid

Love the squid
See the squid
You can even be the squid
Found some poetry from a couple years ago. I might upload a thing or two.
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