That pain inside your heart; I know it all too well
You see it in me every day
The darkness of my soul; it looms over you
And I never wished it was this way

Deep inside my mind is a burning world of pain and fire
I live in it; burn in it; die in it
I never wanted any of this endless living hell
To play out before your eyes

I want you to know I never meant any of it
I wish it were true that anything could help
I want you to know you're innocent in this
The loving words you say mean the world to me

The pain I feel is not your fault
It's plagued me all my life
The blood I've spilt and hate I've felt
A symptom of the strife

My life is worth just a fraction
Of the love you give
It means the world to me just
To be there by your side

I wish I never had this hidden world beneath the skin
I wish you never had to see this horrid part of me
I wish we never fought like this; my heart shatters at the thought
I wish my soul wasn't tainted by this troubled sea

I want you to know I never meant any of it
I wish it were true that anything could help
I want you to know you're innocent in this
The loving words you say mean the world to me

If I ever see the light
I'll be there by your side
I want you to know I love you so much more
Than the demons inside want you to see

Flowing in a sea of aeons and landmines
Diving fathoms in lucid nightmares
One can only take so much torment
Before giving in

Isolated on an island of pain
Made to suffer at every turn
All existence is neither black nor white
Just blood red

Surrounded by eternity's omniscient torturer
Swallowed whole by her madness and fear
An eternal damnation most hellish
Yet divine

A soul lost to time; a life to the blade
No one to grieve for this loss
As there was nothing to lose
But indifference

Plunging through the inky depths of aeons
Sinking like a boulder tied 'round the neck
Dragged down into blackness
Neither grieved nor mourned

Just lost

Lost to eternity

Her voice; her touch;
The way her hands feel—
Coursing through my hair

All her love; her emotion;
The way she clings to me—
In her times of need, and mine

Sometimes I think she needs me more;
Sometimes I think she doesn't mean it—
Like her words cut my skin
Like a knife through butter—

I don't deserve her;
She cares more than anyone ever could—
I swear it couldn't be meant for me

But it is; all of it;
It's overwhelming at times—
I don't deserve it

I couldn't possibly deserve it;
Not a chance in hell—
But still she tries
Still she loves me; still—

Oh accursed one—
Bound to this vessel before us
Like us; You are us—
Lost to eternity and the weave of fates

Your will tethers us—
We do your bidding eternal
Unhindered; Unwavering—
Until we wither into aeon

We are the enigma—
The fragments of a whole
The shards; The Ariadne—
Balanced in harmonic resonance

Blind to the past—
Unwilling to see what is to come
Wayward; Headstrong—
Eternities be ******

All that I am—this hate reflected inward;
An echo of guilt wrapped in disdain
Lost to the inevitability of passing time
Yet still it lives

All that I know—this sadness you see;
I don't let you close though I should
A life gone in an instant leaving nothing behind
But this crumbling façade

All that I feel—this vestigial regret; no, fear;
Ties with which to bind me to this life;
To keep me tethered to this world
Yet still ethereally

All that we project—the unwarranted attacks;
The bridges I've burned, rebuilt, and burned again
All to feel something other than sorrow
Meant for no one

All that I see—the flames around me; burning;
This reflection of what's beyond this calm exterior
The love and hate; The love of hate; The hate of love;
The gyre beneath the surface

All of this turmoil—this undeserved turbulence;
The love I thought to give, but was mistaken
The hate I sought to hide, but was misappropriated
Is all I see

And all I see is failure on my part; of my control;
Of my desires hidden with lock and key;
And of searing anger unconstrained
Eternity in vain

Given time to think—
Time to breathe and to feel;
And to be; to see;

Time to know my place—
Not fear to face;
Nor fall from grace;

And without haste—
This life, I'll taste;
As I rise from the ashes
Of self-hate

The city never sleeps
Always busy; always something
Something to do
It shines like moonlight
A modern day nightlight